To Give and To Take
by EosAphrodite
Summary: Don't want to give anything away, but is the 'honemoon' over? What happens that shakes Catherine and Gil to their very soul? GC; angst is here. Keeping the R just coz I don't feel like changing it.
1. Friendship Cemented

Disclaimers: We all know what they are, so I won't put them here.  
  
AN: First off, Congrats to Marg for her Golden Globe Nomination.  
  
Secondly to Angie and Em for beta-ing this and to Rita for the title.  
  
Thank you for all the encouragement you've given me. This is the  
  
first fic I actually wrote and am finally posting the first part of  
  
many. Feedback greatly appreciated. You guys ROCK!!!  
  
Part 1/?  
  
Catherine stepped out of the Tahoe and looked up at the night sky before opening the back door to get her kit. 'It's a beautiful night,' she thought, sighing softly, gazing at the stars that blanketed the inky sky. She turned and walked over to the officer talking with Grissom.  
  
"Body's in there," he gestured towards the house. "Second floor, first door to your right. No sign of the baby though."  
  
Catherine nodded to him and stepped through the entryway. She looked around for a moment, then headed upstairs.  
  
The bloody body lying in the bathroom doorway was the first thing she noticed. Taking in the appearance of the room, she walked gingerly around the debris that littered the floor. "Looks like there was quite a struggle in here," she muttered to the room, softly. She set her case down and donned a pair of latex gloves and proceeded to take pictures of the body and surrounding area.  
  
She looked to be in her mid-twenties. She may have been pretty, but with the gaping hole in the side of her head, it was difficult to tell. The blood that had pooled under her head had congealed into a black, sticky mess that matted her long black hair and covered what was left of her face and upper chest. Pieces of brain matter were stuck to her skull and hair, making her look like some grotesque character in a horror movie.  
  
Catherine sighed; she hated scenes like this. She hated all scenes, especially the children, but this kind of violence really stayed with her, making her wake up in a cold sweat, shivering and frightened. It was crimes like this that make her wonder about her career choice and her sanity.  
  
"Why do we do this, Gil? Why?" she asked aloud.  
  
"I've asked myself that many times, Cath." Grissom's voice came from behind her. "How'd you know I was here?"  
  
Turning to glance at him, she said, "You smell."  
  
"Excuse me?" Gil was indignant.  
  
"The soap you use, I can smell it." She turned back to the body. "Somebody sure hated her. To do this to her," she gestured to the body.  
  
"Crime of pass. . ." Gil trailed off as Catherine cocked her head to the right, listening for something.  
  
"Shhhh," she said suddenly. "Do you hear that?"  
  
"Hear what?"  
  
Catherine held up one hand. "There it is again. Do you hear it? It sounds like a baby crying." Catherine's voice rose an octave.  
  
Gil listened carefully for a moment, "Cath, I don't hear anything."  
  
"Where's the baby? They said the baby wasn't here. Then where is it?" The hair on Catherine's neck rose. "Go check in the other room, it's coming from over there," she said gesturing to her left.  
  
"Catherine, are you sure you're not hearing things? They've searched the house and didn't find it. The baby could be with a sitter or kidnapped." Gil was trying to be logical, but the look on Catherine's face stopped him from saying more. "I'm not imagining it! And a sitter would have called already. Go look." She stood and moved slowly around in a circle, trying to determine what she was hearing and where it was coming from. "Please?" she added unnecessarily, as Gil was already on his way.  
  
Catherine heard the cry again and walked over to the closet. She knew she heard a baby cry. There, again, a little louder. She opened the closet door and looked around. The crying was getting louder, and Catherine felt the unexpected answering well of tears in her own eyes. 'I know I'm not imagining it,' she thought as she started taking things out of the closet, searching for the source. It was louder now, and she paused to get her bearings before shoving more things out of the way.  
  
"Cath, there was nothing there," Gil came to a halt when he saw her digging through the closet. He was getting worried, he still didn't hear anything and was getting frustrated. "Maybe it's the wind blowing through the trees," he offered.  
  
Catherine was frantic now, she knew she heard a baby crying. "No, it's not the damned wind, Grissom." Her eye caught an oddity in the paneling on back wall of the closet. It looked like it had been haphazardly wedged into place. Curious, she rapped her knuckle across it. "I think there is a space back here, Gris." She wedged her finger under the bottom of one panel and pulled. "Dammit! Help me Gil!" She could feel herself starting to panic. Gil stepped into the closet and she moved to make him room. They pulled on the board together and it came loose.  
  
Silence. There was a small space back there, as if someone had walled off a room when they remodeled the closet. "Flashlight," she snapped, dropping to her knees.  
  
Gil quickly retrieved a flashlight from her case and handed it to her, squatting behind her to try and get a look.  
  
Catherine leaned forward and shined the flashlight around the space. There in the back corner was a sight that she knew would haunt her for the rest of her life. A baby, maybe 9 months old, clutching a tattered blanket was huddled in the corner, the blue sleeper it was wearing covered in dirt. The baby appeared to be unharmed. An empty bottle was on the floor next to it. "Dear God," she breathed out, tears rolling down her cheeks.  
  
Taking a deep breath and praying for calm, she said softly, "Hey honey. It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you." She reached for the baby, but it shrunk from her and started to cry in earnest. So focused on the baby she didn't hear Grissom's muttered exclamation of "Oh my God!"  
  
Catherine lay on her stomach, wedged herself into the small opening, reaching out for the baby. "Come out, honey, it's alright. We won't hurt you." She scooted further into the opening, and gently grasped the baby's blanket, pulling it closer to her. "Come on sweetie, it's gonna be ok." Setting the flashlight on the floor, she stretched both arms out to the baby, finally being able to wrap her hands around its waist. "Pull us out, Gil," she said while she pulled the baby closer and laid him down, covering its head with her own. The baby was still crying, but allowed her to cuddle him close. She was unaware of her tears falling onto the baby's head. When she was completely out of the space, she sat up and cradled the baby to her body.  
  
"It's ok, honey," she crooned, swaying back and forth. "Let me look at you. Are you hurt? I bet you're hungry." She inspected the baby and didn't find any obvious signs of injuries. She laid her cheek to the baby's head and looked at Grissom, surprised to see his own eyes were watery. "It's ok, I promise, it'll be ok," she kept repeating over and over, trying to suppress the sob that rose in the back of her throat.  
  
Gil stood and laid his hand on Catherine's head. "Cath, they've got to call Children's Protective Services." He looked down at her and realized that she hadn't heard him. She just kept rocking the baby and whispering to it. Sighing he stepped out into the hallway and called to an officer. "We found a baby, call CPS, now." After receiving an affirmative nod, Gil walked back into the bedroom. He stood there for a moment, watching Catherine. The baby had stopped crying and was sucking its fist, seemingly content at the moment. Going over, he knelt down and tenderly ran a hand through her hair. "Let's get this baby downstairs." She just looked at him without saying anything. She didn't need to; he could read the pain and horror in her eyes.  
  
At that moment, Sara Sidle and Nick Stokes walked in. Sensing the strain in the room, Nick asked cautiously, "What's going on?"  
  
Without sparing them a glance, Gil answered delicately, "Catherine found a baby boarded up in the closet. Cath?" When she didn't answer, he tried again. "Catherine, we need to get the baby downstairs. Come on, honey, let's go." He was unaware of the endearment, but the shocked looks on Sara and Nick's faces revealed that they did. Gil took Catherine gently by the elbow and guided her to her feet, leading her past Sara and Nick and out of the room.  
  
Catherine's eyes caught Sara's for a moment and Sara was surprised at the look of sorrow on her face. Cath always took the scenes with children the hardest, even harder than she did. How the older woman did this and took care of a young daughter, she never knew. Sara knew herself well enough to know that she couldn't handle the load that Catherine did with the grace that she handled it with.  
  
As they reached to top of the stairs, Catherine seemed to come out of her trance. "I bet he's hungry," she told Gil. "I'm going to go and see if there is anything for him to eat before CPS gets here. He shouldn't have to wait."  
  
Gil sighed in relief; Catherine was back, mothering everyone she came across. "I'll go with you. You get into trouble without me," he teased her.  
  
"I'd tell you to shut up, but I have to watch my language around the baby," she retorted.  
  
Gil chuckled at her; he'd been worried about her for a few minutes. He knew she took cases involving children personally, but he had never seen that look in her eyes before.  
  
They entered the kitchen and Catherine turned to Gil, thrusting the baby at him. "Here, hold him while I get him something to eat."  
  
"Wait a minute! I'm not holding him. I don't hold babies." He backed away a step, noting with alarm that she followed him.  
  
Suppressing a giggle at the panicked look on his face, she said, "You held Lindsey. Take him or do you want to feed him? Your choice." She smiled at him disarmingly, "Please?"  
  
Groaning, Gil knew she had him beat; he never could refuse her anything she asked for when she flashed that smile at him. Awkwardly, he held the baby, its back to him one arm supporting the diaper-clad bottom and the other across its chest. "Lindsey was different," he grumbled.  
  
Going through the cabinets, Catherine found some jarred baby food and powdered formula. Figuring it was easier to give him a bottle than to try and take the time to feed him solid food, she searched for a bottle. Her experience with Lindsey told her that feeding a baby was not a quick affair. She paused for a moment, looking around the kitchen. "Eureka!" she said as she found an assortment of bottles and parts in the dishwasher. Looking to Gil, who had been watching her intently, she asked, "Why was Lindsey different? They're all just babies." She filled the bottle up with tap water, waiting until it had reached the right temperature.  
  
"Well," he stammered uncharacteristically. "She didn't smell for one thing," he wrinkled his nose as the odor emanating from the baby hit is olfactory nerve. "She wasn't hungry, and . . .and she just was," he finished lamely.  
  
Catherine smiled at him knowingly, shaking the bottle to mix the formula and walked toward him. She leaned up and kissed his cheek, surprising him. She popped the bottle in the baby's open mouth. "That was because you always caught her right after I fed her and changed her. Come on Gris, you can change his diaper." She walked up the stairs, leaving him alone with the baby.  
  
"Catherine!" he wailed as he followed her up the stairs. He caught up with her at the top of the steps and followed her down the hall to the room that was obviously the baby's. "I am NOT changing this kid," he stated emphatically. Nick poked his head out of the room and grinned at the two of them.  
  
"Why not Gris, you've got gloves on," she teased him, clearing enjoying this, but changed her mind quickly at his pointed look. "Oh for the love of God, Gris, I was just teasing," she said, reaching for the baby. "I've got this under control, why don't you go process something or whatever it is you do." She disappeared into the nursery.  
  
Minutes later, she was back. She'd changed the baby's clothes as well and cleaned him up a bit. "I need an evidence bag for this," she said, holding out the sleeper that the baby had been wearing.  
  
Sara came over with a bag and held it open for Catherine to drop the clothes into. "You know, he is kinda cute," she touched the baby's hand that held the bottle in a death grip. "You really found him the closet?" At Catherine's nod, she frowned and stated, "I don't think I'll ever understand the things people do to innocent children."  
  
"Maybe she was trying to protect him," Catherine ventured.  
  
"Sara, I need you over here," Gil interrupted them. The two turned to him and watched as Nick pulled a bloody baseball bat out from under the bed. Catherine turned away quickly, she didn't want the baby to see the murder weapon, even if he was too young to understand. She saw a woman walking up the stairs and went to meet her. "CPS?" she asked.  
  
"Yes, I'm Em Gonzales. This must be the child."  
  
"Yes," Catherine answered as she handed the baby over. "I gave him a bottle of formula. I have no idea of how long he'd been in that place. He seemed really hungry. I also changed his diaper and clothes; we'll be keeping the sleeper and blanket for evidence. Do you need a change of clothes for him?" At the woman's nod, she led her to the nursery, keeping between her and the open doorway to the bedroom. She helped the woman get a change of clothes and put it in the diaper bag hanging on the doorknob of the closet.  
  
"Do we know if he has any relatives that might be able to take him?"  
  
"We haven't done any checking. You can get any further information from the officer on scene," Catherine walked with the woman to the stairs. The baby seemed to realize that Catherine wasn't going with him and started crying, holding his arms out to her. Em kept walking down the stairs and the baby's wails increased to an earsplitting shriek. Catherine's heart broke and she moved to take the infant, but was stopped by a restraining hand on her arm. She looked up and Grissom shook his head at her. She read the censure in his eyes and even though deep down she knew he was right, she was suddenly angry. The baby had just lost his mother and was frightened and wanted to be with someone he felt safe with. He had apparently decided Catherine was that person. Wrenching her arm from his grasp, she whirled around and headed back to the bedroom.  
  
Grissom's voice stopped her before she got three steps away. "I need your shirt, it's evidence," he said softly.  
  
She nodded stiffly and continued to the room. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she attempted to make her voice normal. "Sara, do you have a tank top under that shirt?"  
  
"Yeah," Sara looked over at Catherine. She took in her stiff posture and the look on her face. 'Oh shit, this is gonna be a bad night,' she thought to herself.  
  
"Can I borrow your shirt? Mine is evidence."  
  
"Ah, yeah sure," Sara walked over to her and took off her blue button-down shirt. "Here you go." She wanted to say something of comfort to Catherine, by recognized the unreceptive look on Catherine's face. She turned back to processing, sharing a sympathetic glance with Nick.  
  
Stepping into the doorway of the nearest bathroom, she let her head fall back and took a deep shuddering breath. Fumbling with the buttons of her own shirt, she felt the tears threaten again. 'Stop it right now!' she scolded herself. 'You will not lose it here. You will NOT cry.' One lone tear made it's way down her cheek. Fighting for control, she bit the inside of her cheek until it bled. 'God, why is this so hard? I've never been this way at a scene before.' She took a few more deep calming breaths. Feeling a bit more in control, she finished changing. She bagged her shirt and ran into Grissom on her way out of the bathroom. "Here," she snapped, thrusting the bag at him and pushing past him.  
  
"Catherine!" Gil's voice stopped her once again. "I want you back at the lab. Now. Nick and Sara can finish up here."  
  
"Why?" Now Catherine was livid. She didn't know exactly why, but she was spoiling for a fight. As much as she hated fighting with Grissom, he was the one whose buttons she was ready and totally willing to push at this moment.  
  
"Because you need space. You need to clear your head. You're losing control, you're too emotional about this."  
  
That did it, Catherine's head snapped up and she took a step forward, her face in Grissom's. She opened her mouth to offer a scathing retort, but Nick's voice stopped her.  
  
"Let me help you with that, Sara," Nick said loudly, in an obvious attempt to stop Catherine from saying or doing something she would regret later. Namely taking a swing at the boss. He could see her clenched fists and flushed face and knew someone had to do something quick.  
  
Confused, Sara just gaped at him. At his quick nod towards Catherine and Grissom, she stammered, "Uh, yeah sure. This IS kinda awkward." She held the bat out to him to bag.  
  
Nick and Sara's voices filtered through her anger and realizing this wasn't the best place to finish this argument, Catherine took a step back and fished in her pocket for the keys. "Bring my stuff back with you," she spat at Gil.  
  
"Finish up here, you guys," Gil looked at them. "I'm not letting her drive like this. She'll kill either herself or someone else." He hurried after Catherine.  
  
Nick and Sara stared at each other for a moment. The air came rushing out of Nick's lungs in a whoosh. "Wow! That was close. Did you see the look on her face? That was about to get very ugly."  
  
Sara looked toward the door for a moment, then back at Nick. "Yeah, but I sure would like to be a fly in THAT car."  
  
Nick shuddered. "Not me. That's something I don't need to get in the middle of. No, I'm just gonna keep my head down 'til this blows over. It's safer that way."  
  
Outside, Gil caught up with Catherine just as she was unlocking the driver's side door. "Catherine, wait a minute."  
  
"Go away Grissom. I'm going back to the lab, that's what you wanted. Now leave me alone." Catherine knew she was being irrational, but for reasons she didn't want to think about, she couldn't stop herself.  
  
"Just let me drive. Please? You'll end up in an accident. I know the way you drive when you're mad." To Grissom, it sounded completely rational, but apparently not to her. She threw the keys at him, hitting him squarely in the chest before going around to the passenger side, getting in and slamming the door.  
  
"That's gonna leave a mark," Gil mumbled as he picked up the keys and got in the Tahoe. He drove for a few minutes in silence, and then ventured. "Catherine, talk to me. What is going on with you?"  
  
"Nothing," came her terse reply.  
  
"Don't tell me 'nothing'. Something obviously is. You've never acted like this before at a scene. You were emotional and completely unprofessional." Gil's voice was rising in frustration. "Not too mention."  
  
"Drop it Grissom! I'm warning you. Nothing is wrong!" Catherine crossed her arms on her chest and stared out the side window.  
  
Unwisely Gil tried again. "Cath, I know how you feel. But you can't let it cloud your perspective. This is your job. You have to distance yourself from it."  
  
"God dammit Gil! I said drop it! You don't know I feel. You can't know! You don't feel!" Catherine shouted at him. "Pull over." When he didn't respond, she yelled again. "God dammit, pull the fucking car over or I'll jump out!" She fumbled with her seat belt, trying to unhook it.  
  
Gil jerked the steering wheel to the right and skidded to a stop in the gravel. "Jesus Catherine! I'm sick of this! I will not tolerate." His voice stopped as Catherine jumped out of the truck and ran to the side of the road. "Shit!" he cursed jumping out after her.  
  
Catherine was bent over vomiting into the ditch. There was nothing in her stomach; she hadn't eaten all day, but she couldn't stop her stomach from heaving. She kept seeing that baby in the closet. Gil went back to the Tahoe and retrieved a bottle of water. Walking up behind her, he waited until she was done. He handed her the bottle of water and some tissues. He stood there for a few moments, waiting until she would turn around and face him. Finally, she turned to him, her gaze meeting his, then skittering away.  
  
"Thanks," her voice sounded small, weak. Her arms were crossed around her middle and she was shivering.  
  
Gil took a deep breath and said softly, "I do feel. I feel every time we go to a scene. I just don't show it. I can't, Cath. Please don't ask me to."  
  
Catherine looked into his eyes for a long moment, reading the emotion in them that he couldn't express verbally. She'd never seen that depth to him before and it touched something within her. She nodded and said gently, "I know, Gil. I know you do." She looked away for a moment, and then continued, her voice trembling. "It's just.I don't know why I." her voice trailed off and she looked up at the night sky, the tears making their way down her cheeks. "I just."  
  
"Let it go, Cath. Just let it go." Gil stepped over to her and put one arm around her waist. "Just let it go. It's ok."  
  
Catherine turned to him and let the tears fall. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his neck and let the tears flow. She didn't know what she was crying about. It was nothing, yet everything. She cried for the baby they'd found, for his mother who was lying in her bedroom with her brains bashed in. She cried for Lindsey, for her broken marriage, for the people she worked with. She cried for all the people she'd seen in her career. Catherine Willows finally let it go and cried.  
  
And Gil held her. He stroked her back and her hair. He held her as her sobs increased, her shoulders shaking, her breath coming in gasps. He held her and tried to comfort her in the way his mother had when he was a very small child, whispering nonsensical words into her ear. Soothing her, as she would have had it been Lindsey crying. Gil Grissom just held her.  
  
Finally, after what seemed like forever, but yet no time at all, Catherine's sobs decreased to only an occasional hiccup. Then nothing at all; nothing but the sound of their breathing and the night sounds around them. Catherine lifted her head from his neck and looked at him. He smiled tenderly and handed her some tissues.  
  
"Here, blow your nose."  
  
Catherine chuckled, a watery sound and did as she was told. She took his hand in hers and said softly, "Thank you, Gil."  
  
"You feel better?" he asked. At her nod, he continued. "Then we need to get back to the lab." He led her over to the Tahoe. He paused a moment and looked up at the night sky, with the stars shining brightly. "It's a beautiful night."  
  
Catherine followed his gaze, and then looked back at him. "Yes, it is," she agreed, sighing.  
  
They stood there for another few minutes, watching the sky in silence. Neither one of them noticed they were still holding each other's hands.  
  
To be continued. 


	2. Grissom's Revelation

Disclaimers and AN are in the first part. Again thank you to Angie  
  
and everyone here for all the encouragement. And well darn it, Ann,  
  
bitter42, WP1fan, this fic's for you. ;) That's right Ann, the whole  
  
she-bang, the whole kit-n-kaboodle, it's for you. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
"Cath, come on. Wake up." Gil shook Catherine's shoulder lightly. She'd fallen asleep moments into the drive back to the lab. Gil would have liked to let her sleep; he knew she hadn't been sleeping well lately. But not now, not with the work they had ahead of them. "Cath, wake up."  
  
Catherine's eyes fluttered open, then closed. Suddenly she sat up with a startled jerk. Looking around for a moment, trying to get her bearings. Catherine pushed the hair out of her eyes. "We're back. How long did it take?" Blinking the remains of sleep out of her eyes, she sat up straight.  
  
"Twenty minutes. You slept most of it. You ready? Maybe you ought to lay down on the couch in the lounge for a little bit. You still look tired."  
  
"Nah, twenty minutes? That's a power nap. I'll be fine. I just need some coffee to chase the edge away." Looking at him for a moment, Catherine remembered the way he had held her while she cried. Never had she seen him so tender. Touching the back of his hand, she spoke, "Gil, I'm," she hesitated; apologies were not her strong suit. "I'm sorry about earlier. You were right.about all of it. I was out of line."  
  
Gil smiled, "Don't worry about it. It's forgotten." He was rewarded with a brilliant smile from Catherine.  
  
"You know Grissom, sometimes you amaze me. You really do." Catherine unfastened her seat belt and stepped out of the Tahoe. "I was thinking about the baby, Gris. More than likely she put him there for safety. And it didn't look like the first time either, judging from the conditions of that space. It was too clean." Gil stopped outside the door to the headquarters and looked at her expectantly. "She knew her attacker. This wasn't the first that he'd been in there."  
  
"I was thinking the same thing." Gil opened the door for her, letting her precede him. "You know what they say about great minds Catherine."  
  
"Now that's scary," she quipped as she headed for the lounge to get some coffee.  
  
Gil watched her walk off, amazed at how quickly she could bounce back. That was one of the reasons she was so invaluable in her field. She never let anything get her down for long. Wondering how Nick and Sara were fairing, he reached for his cell only to have it ring before he could open it. "Grissom." He started walking to his office. "What have you got Nick?" He listened for a moment, and then said, "Ok, I'll see you back here in about an hour." He changed directions mid-stride, narrowly missing a lab worker and headed for the lounge to tell Catherine what Nick had found.  
  
"Nick called," he said without preamble when he saw her pouring coffee into her favorite mug. It was a picture of Garfield wearing a ridiculous nightcap and nightshirt. The cartoon cat had a bleary-eyed look on his face and was holding a cup of coffee. 'I'll rise, but I will not shine' was emblazoned on the mug.  
  
Catherine took a cautious sip before answering. "Blech! How long have these dregs been sitting here? What'd he have for us?" she asked while adding more sugar.  
  
"Boyfriend showed up. Said he left at 5 p.m. for his shift at the hospital, where he's an orderly. Said both her and the baby were asleep when he left."  
  
"Can we confirm?"  
  
"Still have to check, but it gets better." Catherine just raised an eyebrow at him and waited for him to continue. He pursed his lips; a look she knew well. "He's not the baby's father. Willingly gave DNA at the scene."  
  
"So we've got either a jealous father or a jealous boyfriend. The baby isn't that old Gris. It will be interesting to find out if he knows about her hiding that baby?" She took another sip of coffee. "When will Nicky and Sara be back?"  
  
"About an hour. That mug," he said, pointing to the coffee cup.  
  
"Hey, I like this mug. Anyway, it was either this one or the PMS one. I figured I wouldn't get as much harassment from this one. Guess I was wrong."  
  
"PMS?" Gil questioned. "They actually print that on a mug?"  
  
She smiled at him and took another drink before responding. "Yes Gil. PMS, Putting Up with Men's Shit. I thought that at least with this one, Ecklie couldn't file harassment charges against me."  
  
Gil chuckled. "No, he wouldn't do that to you. It's me he's gunning for."  
  
"I wouldn't be too sure about that," she said. At his raised eyebrow, she continued, "He hit on me the other day and wasn't too happy that I." she paused a moment, flashed him an amused grin, and then continued, "gracefully declined his generous offer."  
  
"I'm sure that you were.ah. graceful." The knot that had formed in his stomach loosened slightly when she said she had turned down his offer. Of it's own accord, his mind flashed back to the moment he realized his feelings for her had changed from friendship to something more.  
  
***************  
  
Gil followed the waiter to his favorite table by the window. He accepted the menu and looked it over for a moment. 'I need to get a life,' he thought. 'I'm tired of eating alone.' Normally being alone didn't bother him, he had gotten used to it, of having work the focus of his life. But lately he was tired of coming home to an empty apartment. He supposed it was because of the eventual loss of his hearing that made him almost desperate to surround himself with noise. When he was at home, he turned up the stereo or the tv, but tonight he decided to surround himself with people.  
  
He glanced around the room, taking in the occupants. That is when he saw her. Sitting halfway across the room with some man he'd never seen before. He couldn't tell what the man looked like, except for his red hair and obviously expensive clothes. What he did notice was how he made her laugh, how he whispered something in her ear and how close they sat. She looked devastatingly beautiful. Her makeup was darker than he was accustomed to seeing it. Gone was the look of concentration he usually saw on her face; she looked happy and relaxed. Her dress complemented her complexion and emphasized her slenderness. Her hair spilled onto her shoulders in soft waves. The strawberry blonde color caught the light, causing it to shimmer when she moved.  
  
As Gil watched them, his gut tightened with an unfamiliar feeling. It took him a moment to place it: jealousy. It was then that Gil realized he was in love with her. He'd cared about her for years, but never really thought about it beyond just that, friendship. Now there she was, sitting with a man that was making her happy and it hurt. It hurt far more than he'd ever imagined it could.  
  
The waiter came back for his order and Gil made a feeble attempt at an excuse. He no longer wanted to be with people, he wanted to be alone. Alone, like he had always thought he'd wanted to be. "I'm sorry, emergency," he mumbled to the waiter. He stood up and walked out of the restaurant without looking back.  
  
Catherine Willows was so intent of her dinner companion that she never saw him.  
  
********************  
  
Gil blinked and forced himself back to the conversation at hand. "He really hit on you? I thought that he had a little more sense than that. Did he really think you would actually go out with him? Do you want me to talk to him?"  
  
Catherine rolled her eyes at him. "No big brother. I do not want you to talk to him. I took care of the situation, I'm sure he won't try anything quite so stupid again. Then again, it is Ecklie, so I could be wrong. Anyway, you'll just make it worse if you do say something. It was a bad attempt at a pick-up line and I called him on it. Leave it be."  
  
"If you say so. But if it happens again, I want to know about it." He looked at her, his expression serious. "I mean it Catherine. No one has to put up with that."  
  
"Fine. Whatever. But it won't, so I won't have to." She drained her mug, rinsed it and put it in the dish drainer. "Well, that was nasty, but it'll do the job." She glanced over at Gil. "Don't you have some paperwork that needs to be done? Wouldn't want you to get into trouble with the higher ups."  
  
He sighed and pushed himself away from the counter. "Yeah. Let me know when Nick and Sara get here." He started to walk out, but stopped and turned back to her. "Get yourself something to eat. You've lost some weight." He turned on his heel and left the lounge.  
  
Catherine stared after him, not really surprised that he'd noticed the few pounds she lost, but surprised as hell he'd said something to her about it. She had lost some weight, but not that much. She hadn't felt like eating much lately; there was too much on her mind the last few weeks. Eddie had been giving her problems with the support money and the house payment was due. She was pretty good with budgeting, but lately things had gotten a little out of hand. Lindsey had been in acting up lately; moody and mouthy. Catherine supposed she felt the tension, the anger between her parents and was taking it out on the one person she felt safe with. Catherine knew just how he felt; she'd done the same thing earlier with Grissom. With all the stress, Catherine did what she had a habit of doing; she stopped eating. And now Gil had noticed. Knowing that he wouldn't let up on her unless she ate something, Catherine went over to the refrigerator and grabbed the sandwich she'd brought.  
  
  
  
tbc...again. what's gonna happen next. Some agnst, some sex, lotta  
  
kissin'. Just hang in there y'all. Oh and some Eddie too. 


	3. Catherine's Revelation

Disclaimers: See part one of the first part.  
  
AN: Can't think of a thing, yet. But I will, eventually. Again, r/r  
  
please. I live on reviews. You no review, I no give you part 4.  
  
  
  
Gil Grissom, or Gruesome Grissom as some people called him in private because of his predilection of having various and sundry of bugs, living and dead, scattered all over his office, walked quietly into the lounge. He stood there and silently observed his team for a few moments. They'd all come along way since joining the night shift. Although he wouldn't dare admit it to anyone, he sometimes felt like a 'proud papa' at the way they were each growing and becoming better CSI's over the years.  
  
As it so often did, his gaze wandered over to Catherine, the most senior CSI save himself. He watched her toss out quick-witted comebacks to Warrick and Nick, earning herself a high-five from Sara in the process. Even as he watched her laugh and joke with her colleagues, he could see a fatigue in her face that her skillful use of make-up couldn't hide.  
  
"Ok, group, time to get to work," he called as he tossed a couple of thin manila file folders on the table. After they'd settled around the table, he continued, "Nick, Warrick, Sara, I have a db at the Mirage for you three."  
  
"What about me Boss? I get to go home right?" Catherine asked, with a half hopeful, half pout on her face.  
  
"In your dreams, Cath," he retorted, the familiar smirk on his face.  
  
"I love it when you talk dirty, Gris," Catherine smarted back, her voice low and husky.  
  
Grissom quirked and eyebrow at her in mock annoyance, trying to ignore the way his gut tightened at the sound of her voice. 'Does her voice do that when she's aroused?' The traitorous voice in his head piped up. 'Do her eyes darken when.Shut Up.she's having her orgas.SHUT UP NOW!' he inwardly screamed at the voice.  
  
Hoping that none of these thoughts showed on his face, Gil sighed and said, "You're with me. We've got a mutilated body over in the Highland school district." Hours later, Gil was searching for Catherine. He had noticed the bruises on her wrist and was concerned about her. There was a disparity in her eyes he hadn't seen in a long time and truthfully never hoped he see again. He was apprehensive about how receptive she would be to him. There was her insistence to keep everything in her life bottled inside; to not allow anyone to know she was hurting, but there was also his attitude of late.  
  
For obvious reasons, he'd never told her that he'd seen her at that restaurant. And she'd never mentioned to him that she was seeing someone. But he'd become morose and short-tempered with her. And other than the closeness they'd shared a few nights ago, he'd kept even more to himself. He had thought at that point that maybe, just maybe he had a chance with her. To tell her of the love he had for her. A love that was steadily growing deeper and stronger each day, encompassing him and leaving him filled with wonder at why he had not felt this way years ago. He watched her all the time now; when she was unaware of it. He noticed the way her shimmering hair skimmed her shoulders and emphasized the high cut of her cheekbones. The day she had come into work with it curling in waves around her face, he'd found himself longing to touch it, to feel its softness and silkiness. He noted the way her lips curved into a willing smile, and when she turned that smile at him, his knees actually felt weak. It was a feeling that he'd never experienced before and marveled at it.  
  
He had gathered his courage a few nights ago and sought out her company. He had decided to ask her for dinner and then.well, after that he wasn't sure, but he knew he didn't want to hide his feelings from her any longer. He had found her in the locker room talking with Nick, and before he could make his presence known, Nick's voice stopped him cold and brought his world crashing to his feet. He stayed just out of sight and unashamedly listened to the conversation between them.  
  
"So, Cath," Nick said. "Hear you went out with Horatio Caine."  
  
"And?" came Catherine's cautious reply. She had a feeling she knew where this was going. 'How the hell had he found out about Horatio,' she wondered.  
  
"Well, I was just wondering how that happened to come about. Something happen in Miami you didn't share with the class?" His voice was teasing now.  
  
Catherine responded in kind, "Well you know, I did say I had a good time in Miami."  
  
"Really? Do tell." Nick grinned at her. He leaned back against the wall of lockers and crossed his arms, ready to really interrogate her. "So you liked Miami, huh?"  
  
"Yes, I did," Catherine answered truthfully. "It was beautiful. All that water, it was amazing. It was damned humid though. But I did enjoy myself." She looked at Nick and flashed him a grin. "And you can't forget the sports cars. It was sports car heaven. I could live there."  
  
Nick chuckled. "I bet you loved that. So when are you moving there? Gonna hit Caine up for a job? I bet he'd love to have you on his staff."  
  
"Well," she paused and lowered her voice. "He did mention it. At a nice salary, I might add."  
  
Now Nick's curiosity was peaked. "He did? I have a feeling that he wasn't after your blood spatter skills alone."  
  
Catherine giggled and replied in a sing-song voice, "I'll never tell."  
  
Stunned, Gil backed quietly out of the locker room. Horatio Caine. He had come here from Miami to recruit her and Gil knew as well as Nick did that it wasn't just her skills as a CSI he was after. She was a beautiful woman and it was obvious to him she had enjoyed her time with him. He was going to lose her. He was going to lose the most important person in his life and he could only blame himself.  
  
It had gotten even worse, if possible, after Gil had intercepted a call for her when she was out in the field. Horatio Caine had called for her and he found it hard to be civil to him on the phone. His stomach clenched tightly and he knew he was going to lose her. So he'd begun taking his fear out on her. He didn't mean to, he just didn't know to deal with his emotions. He avoided her whenever possible and was often curt when he did have to speak to her. He could see the hurt and confusion in her eyes and cursed himself for putting it there, but he didn't know how to fix the situation. For a man used to finding the answers and solving the problem, this was foreign to him and he actually began to dread coming in to work. To make matters worse, the tension between them had started to affect the other members of the team.  
  
And now, he was going to try to talk to her. Talk to her about the bruises on her wrists, a subject he knew from past experience was not going to go over well at all.  
  
He saw her through the glass windows of the lab. She was processing evidence from the scene she had been to earlier. No one else was in the room; she was alone. It was now or never. Gil took a deep breath and pushed the door open and walked in.  
  
Catherine didn't raise her head or acknowledge his presence, but she knew he was there; she recognized his footsteps.  
  
"Catherine?" He called softly as he walked over to her. When she didn't look at him, he tried again. "Catherine. Can we talk, please?"  
  
Without lifting her head, Catherine asked him angrily, "What do you want to talk about Grissom? About how you've been avoiding me like the plague? Or when you feel I'm worthy of your attention, you're short-tempered and bitchy? Are you going to tell me about the bug up your ass?" Her tone was vicious, but he could hear the underlying hurt and it cut him to the quick. She looked up at him. "No? I didn't think so. Well, as you can see, I'm busy here. So why don't you go find someone else to ignore."  
  
Gil accepted her anger and continued softly. "You're right, Cath. I've been a complete ass the last few days and I'm sorry. More than you know."  
  
Catherine's head jerked up and she looked at him in surprise. Grissom rarely ever apologized for anything. Looking into his eyes and seeing the sincerity in them, she nodded. "Ok."  
  
Gil blinked, he was surprised at her response. But that was Catherine, no beating around the bush, she said what she thought and that was that. Glad that the barrier had been broken, but apprehensive about what was to come, Gil mentally braced himself.  
  
"Catherine." he trailed of uncertain of what to say. Deciding that being blunt was the best approach, he continued. "I noticed the bruises Catherine. Do you want to tell me what happened?"  
  
She glanced down at her wrist and tugged the sleeve of her burgundy blouse down over it. "I was hoping no one would notice." She didn't want to get into this with him, not now, and not ever. It was stupid, but she felt she had to protect him from this somehow. He had seen the evidence of Eddie's anger before and she didn't want to see the pity in his eyes again.  
  
"Let me guess, Eddie."  
  
"No, sex with my boyfriend got a little rough last night," she joked, having no clue the effect her words had on him. At his silence, she glanced up. "Bad joke. Sorry. Of course Eddie, who else? I was leaving his house this morning with Lindsey. He tried to detain me, I resisted. The bruises are a result of me wrenching my arm out of his grasp. No big deal." She shrugged her shoulders as if it didn't bother her, but Gil knew better.  
  
"Eddie's an ass." He watched her nod. "But you know that. No knew information there." Hoping his tone was nonchalant, he asked, "You've been seeing someone?"  
  
Catherine gazed into his shuttered blues eyes thoughtfully. She could have sworn she heard a hint of.disappointment in his voice, but nothing showed in his eyes. 'You must have imagined it. You're friends,' she thought. 'Nothing more and nothing less.' "No," she answered simply. "I'm not seeing anyone." She wondered how much Gil knew about Horatio Caine calling her; he'd taken the message. He'd never said anything to her about it, so she didn't know if he knew of the job offer. Catherine was tempted. It would be a fresh start for her. Away from Eddie and his constant anger and jealousy. She could take Lindsey and start all over. It did have appeal, but she didn't know if leaving Vegas was the right thing to do. So she'd put Horatio off, not giving him an answer. An answer she didn't have.  
  
Gil opened his mouth to ask her if she wanted to grab some dinner when his cell phone rang. "Grissom." He listened for a moment, and then clicked the phone shut. "Greg's got a match on some prints," he explained. "Duty calls." He walked over to the door and turned back to Catherine. "Hey Cath? Want to grab something to eat later?" He was pleased with himself for asking her.  
  
"Sure, come get me. You know where I'll be," she indicated the table in front of her. She watched him nod and leave the room.  
  
Two hours later Gil once again sought out Catherine. Leaning against the doorjamb, he asked her, "Hey, you ready for some food?"  
  
Glad for the break, she stood and stretched the kinks out of her back and neck. "Yes, I'm starved. Let me get my purse." She was grateful for the opportunity to get away from work. "Where do you want to go?"  
  
"You don't need your purse, I'm buying. Unfortunately, we don't have a lot of time, so it will have to be someplace close." He guided her out to the Tahoe, his hand resting on the small of her back. "How about Dee's Deli?" He opened the door for her and walked around to the driver's side.  
  
"Sounds good to me," Catherine answered when he got in the truck and started the engine. "I really like their Turkey Clubs."  
  
After arriving at the diner and getting their food, they settled themselves in a corner table.  
  
"So what did you find?" Catherine asked after taking a bite of her sandwich.  
  
Holding up one hand to her, he groaned. "Please, no shoptalk over dinner."  
  
Catherine smiled at him. "Deal. But since we both live at the lab, what will we talk about?"  
  
"How's Lindsey doing in school?"  
  
"Great, she loves the fourth grade. She does really well and has tons of friends. You know Lindsey, the social butterfly. She asked about you last night, she hasn't seen you in a while and she misses you." It was true, Lindsey and Gil had always gotten on well together and she loved being with him.  
  
"I need to see her. I actually had a good time when I watched her while you were in Miami. She's a great kid, Cath. You're doing a good job."  
  
"Thank you," Catherine was surprised at his praise, she didn't hear it often from him. "You spoiled her. All I heard for days was 'Uncle Gil' this and 'Uncle Gil' that. Once, when I wouldn't let her stay up past her bedtime, she actually said to me, 'Uncle Gil would let me'." She mocked a glare at him. "I was sorely tempted to duct tape her mouth shut."  
  
Gil swallowed a bite of his chicken salad and grinned unrepentantly, "I just couldn't say no to her."  
  
Catherine pointed a finger at him. "Bingo. She knows exactly how to play you. You, my friend, are a pushover when it comes to her big blue eyes and little pout." Catherine watched him smile and took a sip of her iced tea. 'God, his eyes are so blue,' she thought. Usually he kept his blue eyes shuttered, unwilling to let anyone see the true Gil behind the walls he'd built. But now, it was as if the gates had been opened and she felt that she could look into his eyes forever. At that moment, Catherine felt something that she'd never expected to feel and in all honesty, had never felt before. Later, she'd swear her heart actually stopped beating for a small eternity, and then slammed back into a fast rhythm. The revelation that she was in love with Gil Grissom swept over her with such a startling intensity, that she had to gasp for breath, choking on her iced tea.  
  
"Catherine? Are you okay?" Gil asked alarmed, reaching over to her.  
  
"Fine. I'm fine," she squeaked out between coughs. She wouldn't look at him, she couldn't. She didn't want him to read the truth in her eyes. She coughed a few more times, attempting to get the liquid from her windpipe. After a few moments, she shakily reached for her iced tea, but her hands weren't cooperating and she almost tipped the glass over. Gil's hand snaked out and quickly caught it before it could spill. "Thanks."  
  
Catherine quickly rose and gathered the remains of her dinner; her movements nervous and jerky. All appetite had fled and she quickly tossed the remains in the nearby trash.  
  
"Are you sure you're ok, Cath?"  
  
Still not trusting herself to look at him, she nodded. "I'm fine. We should probably be getting back now."  
  
Perplexed at her sudden change in mood, Gil nodded and followed her out to the Tahoe. The ride back was made in silence. Catherine was too involved in her thoughts and Gil didn't try to draw her out.  
  
Once in the parking lot, Catherine shot out of the car and was halfway across the parking lot before Gil could catch up to her. He caught her arm as she was about to open the door. "Catherine are you sure you're alright?"  
  
She felt the jolt of electricity shoot up her arm at his touch, and risked a glance at him. "I'm fine, Gil, really." She allowed herself a quick smile, turned and practically ran down the hall, leaving a mystified Gil standing there.  
  
"If I live to be a hundred, I'll never understand women," he said to no one in particular.  
  
"Talking to yourself, Gris?" Nick Stokes walked up to him, laden with take- out food bags.  
  
"Just musing. Let me get the door for you." Gil followed Nick into the building and escaped to his office. He meant to talk to Catherine at the end of the shift, but was in conference with Brass when she left to take Lindsey to school. Promising himself that he would talk to her tomorrow night, Gil left for home himself. Home to an empty townhouse where once again, sleep would elude him and he would lie awake thinking about what might have been.  
  
  
  
tbc...Ok, here we go again. Can you feel the angst? What will Cath  
  
do? What will Gil do when H shows up at the lab to talk to Cath? Will  
  
he toss her over his shoulder an run for the hills? Will he beat the  
  
snot outta H? Does Eddie make an appearance? Will there be any smut?  
  
These questions will be answered in pt 4. Stay tuned, kiddies. Yes,  
  
Ann, more smut for you. Just for you. ;) 


	4. Revelations Revealed

Disclaimers: You know where to turn for those.  
  
AN: A big thanks to Ann for beta-ing this and all her encouragement  
  
as well as others. Can't think of anything else to say, so....  
  
Rating: PG-13 to R I guess, for some content.  
  
Catherine swung her car into her parking spot at the Las Vegas Criminalistics Bureau and looked into the mirror in the visor. She hadn't slept well last night and had dark circles under her eyes that no amount of makeup could hide. Giving her reflection a frown, she gathered her things and walked to the front doors. She had slept little since her realization the night before. She had managed to avoid Gil for the rest of the shift, but knew she would have to face him soon and she dreaded it. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to keep her feelings hidden, but at the same time wanted to tell the world that she was in love with Gil Grissom. But she knew she wouldn't; she would keep her feelings hidden from him. She had thought again about Horatio Caine's offer of a job and part of her wanted to take it. Take the job and get away from Las Vegas and Gil Grissom. But another part of her was physically ill at the thought of not seeing him again. The fear that he could never return her feelings was almost overwhelming.  
  
She was so immersed in her thoughts, that she didn't see the tall, well- groomed man standing outside the double doors and walked past him. He called her name twice before she heard him.  
  
"Horatio." She turned and smiled at him warmly. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to see you. Have you thought any more about relocating to Miami?"  
  
Catherine shifted her purse and sighed. "Yes, I have, but I haven't made a decision yet. It's a very tempting offer, Horatio, but I'm just not sure."her voice trailed off as she watched Grissom walking up to them.  
  
"Gil," Catherine breathed. She was suddenly nervous and her palms began to sweat. Shifting her purse from one hand to the other, she made the introductions.  
  
"Gil, this is Horatio Caine from Miami, Horatio, this is Gil Grissom."  
  
Horatio followed her gaze and watched the emotions play across her face while she introduced them and clarity dawned. He knew then that she would never move to Miami and he knew the reason why. The sexual tension between her and Gil emanated from them in waves, blanketing anyone in the vicinity. He was disappointed; he would have loved to have her on his team and to explore any relationship between them. But he knew now that she would never leave Las Vegas and Gil Grissom. However, he wasn't sure if she realized that fact yet. He watched as Grissom stepped closer to Catherine in a territorial move, and suppressed a chuckle.  
  
"Caine." Gil nodded to him. He knew he should leave the two of them to their conversation, but he couldn't make himself walk away. He suppressed the urge to drag Catherine into the building and away from Caine; he did not like this man and his intentions to Catherine, no matter how platonic they might be.  
  
Catherine's nervousness grew as the silence stretched out. She stifled the urge to scream and turned to Gil, "Give me a few minutes, Grissom. I need to discuss something with Horatio." With that she turned to Caine and took his elbow, guiding him a few feet away from Gil. She felt bad for 'dismissing' Gil, but she didn't want him to overhear her and Horatio.  
  
Gil turned and walked into the building, his feelings in a turmoil. Anger, hurt, jealousy and apprehension warred within him. He stopped at the front desk to check his messages. April, the night receptionist handed him the small pile of papers and Gil perused them, all while keeping one eye on the couple standing outside. 'Standing, yeah right,' Gil harrumphed. 'That man is leaning.' He didn't want to be obvious, but couldn't tear his eyes away. "I don't know Horatio. I haven't made up my mind yet. I know you want an answer, but I need to think about it some more." Catherine's voice pleaded with him to understand.  
  
Horatio smiled at her for a moment. "It's ok, Catherine. I think you've made your decision, you just haven't realized it."  
  
"What do you mean?" Catherine was confused.  
  
Horatio glanced over to the building and could see Grissom watching the two of them. "He's afraid of losing you," Horatio nodded in Gil's direction.  
  
"He just doesn't want to have to find a replacement."  
  
"I don't think you really believe that, Catherine. Trust me, I'm a man and I know. It's not just the thought of losing his best CSI."  
  
"Gil? We're just friends," Catherine said, her heart breaking at the thought. 'If only,' she thought.  
  
"If you say so," Horatio said, clearly not believing her. Horatio leaned down a kissed her gently. "If you ever get to Miami, look me up. I'd love to see you." He adjusted his sunglasses and walked away, leaving a stunned Catherine standing there.  
  
Gil watched the scene with a sinking heart. Caine had kissed her, and from what he saw, she didn't object. Wondering if his life could get any worse, Gil walked to his office.  
  
It was a slow night in Vegas tonight and Catherine, for one, was glad. Her thoughts were whirling around in her head and although she would have welcomed the distraction, her heart wasn't on her work. She sat at the table in the lounge, staring into a saltshaker she was holding, seemingly mesmerized by the small crystals. She didn't think she'd slept more than a few minutes last night, her blankets and sheets a testament to a night spent tossing and turning. 'I'm in love with Gil Grissom,' she thought. 'But how does he feel?' She'd noticed undercurrents between him and Sara; one would have to be blind not to see it. But what exactly was between them was anyone's guess. She'd been debating on whether or not to tell him of her feelings, but was waffling. This was not something she could just blurt out over a mutilated body or while dusting for prints.  
  
"Cath?" Gil called to her from the doorway. Receiving no answer, he tried again, this time a little louder, "Cath?" Catherine still gave no indication that she was aware anyone else was in the room.  
  
"Catherine!" Gil stepped over to the table and took the saltshaker from her hands.  
  
"What?" Catherine snapped, and then looked up. "Grissom," she breathed. I didn't realize it was you." She looked away quickly.  
  
"You looked like you were on another planet. Which one?" Gil teased. He noted the faraway look that was still lingering in her eyes. "Amend that, what planet are you still on?"  
  
Catherine flushed and rubbed her hands on her pants. "How long were you standing there?"  
  
Deciding against telling her that he'd been watching her for a few minutes, Gil fudged on the truth. "A minute maybe. You need to talk to me about something?" His gut twisted as he asked the question.  
  
Catherine opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again. Looking up into Gil's intense blue eyes, she tried again. "Have you ever had something right in front of you, you know, something that is there everyday, but you never notice it?" Seeing the confusion enter his eyes, she looked down at the table and continued. "I mean, you see it, but one day you look at it and suddenly it looks different, like you're seeing it for the first time and you can't get it out of your mind?"  
  
Gil studied her for a moment. 'She has no clue what she does to me. She's beautiful,' he thought. Her hair was curled today, like that night in the restaurant. The color wasn't red and it wasn't blonde, but some fascinating color in between. He took in her blue/green eyes and the high cheekbones, then her mouth. 'God, I want to kiss that mouth. I want to run my fingers through her hair.' he trailed off and schooled his features so she wouldn't read the thoughts running through his mind.  
  
Slightly frustrated at her unusual inability to say what she was thinking, Catherine pushed herself away from the table and walked over to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup of coffee. She turned towards him. "No you never do that do you?"  
  
"It pays to be observant in this profession, Cath," Gil answered dryly. Deciding to take the bait, he asked softly, "What did you just see, or see differently, Cath?"  
  
Knowing that it was now or never, Catherine walked closer to him and took a deep breath for courage. "You," The word came out on a breath of air.  
  
Gil's eyes widened in surprise; that was the last thing he thought she would say. He'd prepared himself for her to tell him that she had decided to move to Miami; to be with Caine. Did she mean what he wanted her to mean? He closed the distance between them in two strides. "Uh, Cath, I'm a little confused here." He was close enough to catch the scent of whatever fragrance she'd used today. It was spicy, yet sweet, and reminded him of Fall. There was something familiar about it, but at the moment he couldn't place it. Right now, all he wanted was to kiss her, to feel her lips against his, her body pressed close to his.  
  
"A little vague for you? Let me clarify." Marveling at her boldness, Catherine slowly leaned up and kissed him. It was a feather-light caress, fleeting, but it sent waves of pleasure through both of them. Not satisfied with the gentle kiss, Catherine pressed herself closer to him, and kissed him harder, her lips moving across his. Her arm went around his neck and shivered as he slid one arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him.  
  
Gil was astounded at the feelings that were coursing through his body. He threaded his fingers through her hair, holding her head immobile. Not satisfied with this kiss, he touched her bottom lip with his tongue, seeking entrance to her mouth. When she opened her mouth, his tongue delved in and mated with hers. He heard her moan of pleasure at the intimate contact of their mouth and bodies, and answered with one of his own. His lungs screaming for air, Gil trailed soft kisses along her jaw to her ear. He breathed her name and felt her shiver against him.  
  
Catherine tipped her head to the side to grant him better access, her eyes half closed and her fists knotted in the back of his shirt. "Oh.yes," her voice was breathless, a sound that aroused him further.  
  
Gil leaned back and looked into her face, taking in the flush that had spread over her cheeks and the desire in her eyes.  
  
"Wow," Catherine breathed, stunned at the intensity of their kiss. "You've been holding out on me Grissom."  
  
At her words, Gil pulled her against him again. He could feel her hardened nipples against his chest and it sent shock waves of pleasure through him. "The name's Gil," he muttered roughly against her mouth. "Say it."  
  
"Wh.What?" Catherine asked shakily; her brain had somehow taken a leave of absence and she just wanted to be alone with him. Where, she didn't care, but somewhere away from this lounge and the people that could intrude on them at any time.  
  
"Gil, say it, Catherine." He wanted to hear his name from her lips. He was tired of being 'Grissom' to her.  
  
"Gil," She whispered and his mouth came crashing down on hers, their tongues mating and dueling. She was shocked at the strength of desire she had for him. She wanted him now and struggled to remind herself that they were at work, hardly a place to be indulging themselves freely. She heard ringing in the background and it took her a moment to realize it was her cell phone.  
  
"Damn!" she swore, tearing her mouth from his. She flipped her cell phone open and took a shaky breath. "Willows," she growled into the phone. She listened for a moment, aware of Gil watching her intently. "Just exactly what is it you want, Eddie?"  
  
"Am I interrupting playtime with your boss, Cat?" Eddie asked. "You know how I hate to be a bother, Sugar."  
  
Catherine looked at Grissom, losing herself in his eyes. "No, Eddie, you weren't interrupting, we were.ah.working." Catherine winced as she heard herself stammer. 'Shit, now he'll never leave me alone about this.' "And don't call me Sugar, I hate that name." She watched Gil's eyes narrow at the pet name. 'Great going, Cath, why don't you dig your grave a little deeper,' she thought. Trying to calm the anger that was building up inside of her, she changed the subject. "What do you want to do with Lindsey?" She caught Gil studying her with the same intensity he studied crimes scenes with. She flashed a smile at him, wanting to reassure him that everything was alright. That was what she always did; reassure everyone that things with Eddie were 'alright.'  
  
Gil watched her as she talked to Eddie; mesmerized by her mouth. The mouth that moments before had been kissing him. Never before had he been so aroused by a kiss. He could still feel his body reacting to the feeling of her body pressed close to his. Knowing that he needed a distraction or they would end up in an extremely embarrassing situation, Gil decided to go check up on Greg. He nodded toward the lab and mouthed 'Greg' to her. At her understanding nod, he ran on finger down her cheek and rested it on her mouth. He wanted to kiss her so badly, and he could see from the look in her eyes that she wanted the same thing. He watched as Catherine moved the phone from her ear and tilted her face to his. Their lips met and clung for a moment. Gil kissed her one more time, then left to go see Greg.  
  
Suppressing the urge to sigh happily, Catherine reluctantly turned her attention back to Eddie. 'What was he yammering on about?' she thought. 'Oh Lindsey.' "You want to take her for the entire weekend? Did you win the lottery? You're actually being decent."  
  
"Cut the shit, Catherine. I want to see my daughter. I haven't seen her in awhile," Eddie was irritated now.  
  
"And whose fault is that?" Catherine regretted her tone instantly. Eddie was a good father, but he got under her skin and made her absolutely nuts. She loved the excitement and thrill when she was younger, but now.now, he just made her crazy. Unfortunately, having Lindsey meant he would be in her life forever. "What time do you want to pick her up tomorrow?"  
  
"After school, about 4. Could you have her ready?" Eddie's tone had become conciliatory, in that slimy way of his.  
  
"That sounds fine. I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow." Catherine flipped her phone shut, cutting of Eddie's reply. She stood there for a moment, wondering what to do. There was nothing on the books for them and she supposed she could help Gil catch up on the ever-present paperwork, but after that kiss, she didn't think being alone with him would be a good idea. Not at work anyway. She remembered the feel his erection pressed up against her and it made desire pool within her. Never had she felt such desire for someone before, not even Eddie when the sex was great. It was sex with Eddie, nothing more and she realized that now. But Gil, Gil turned her on in so many ways; emotionally and physically. The sensations he'd evoked in her with one kiss were astounding. Catherine ran her fingers through her hair. She had to get her mind occupied with something else now, or she was going to need a cold shower. She doubted that even a cold shower could douse the hot flames of longing that were coursing through her.  
  
"Hey Cath," Nick's voice startled her and she jumped. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. How about we round up the gang and head for some grub. Unless you have something pressing to do." He chuckled at that. They were all so bored, they were desperate to grab onto anything to do.  
  
Catherine smiled at him. "That sounds great Nicky. I need the distraction."  
  
"I'll go round up Sara and Warrick, if you'll go find Gris." Nick turned and left the lounge.  
  
Catherine shrugged and went to find Gil. He was in his office going over some paperwork and she stepped inside the door and watched him for a minute. Sensing that someone was standing in his doorway, he looked up and locked eyes with her. They just stared at each other, not saying anything for a small eternity, smiles that they couldn't control spreading over their faces. Finally Catherine spoke.  
  
"Nick wants us all to go to dinner, seeing that we have no open cases. Do you want to go?" She watched him stand up and walk over to her. He stared at her in a way that made her nerves tingle. Her tongue flicked out and moistened her lower lip. She watched his eyes darken as he watched the movement. He was standing centimeters from her and she could feel his desire wash over her. He touched her arm and her eyes slid closed at the slight contact. He pulled her to him as he closed the door. With that barrier against others in place, they came together forcefully. They wrapped their arms around each other, stroking, finding places to touch. He took her mouth forcefully, like a man starving, and she reveled in the feelings, her tongue flicking out and meeting his. This kiss wasn't gentle, but frenzied; they couldn't touch each other enough. She could feel his erection and could feel her control slipping as he slid one hand down her back and butt, lifting her leg over his hip. She gasped as his hardened sex touched hers. The only sound in the room was their moans of pleasure and gasping breaths. They were oblivious to the knocking on the door.  
  
"Hey Gris! You in there?" Nick's voice called to them.  
  
Catherine and Gil jumped away from each other. They looked at each other guiltily, their chests heaving for air in unison.  
  
Struggling to keep his voice normal, Gil answered, "Yeah Nick, give me a second."  
  
"Ok, we'll meet you two out at the cars." Nick smiled as he walked off. 'Who the hell do they think they're fooling?' he thought, shaking his head. He'd watched Cath walk into Gil's office and saw the look on Gil's face, and he'd heard the breathlessness in his voice. "About damn time," he said to no one in particular.  
  
"'About damn time' what?" Sara asked, falling instep with him.  
  
"Oh, just I'm hungry and it's about damn time we got some food." He would keep their secret. It was none of his business, but his mind was already thinking of ways to tease them without coming right out and saying anything.  
  
Warrick met them at the front doors. "Where's Cath and Gris?" he inquired.  
  
"They'll be along in a minute. They're finishing up something. I told them we'd meet them at the cars." Nick answered, leading the way to the parking lot.  
  
A few minutes later Catherine and Gil walked up to them. They'd been careful to make sure that nothing was out of place, clothes were on straight and poker faces were in place. Catherine had caught his arm just as he was about to walk out of his office and wiped her lipstick from his mouth. Now, as they approached the group, they both prayed nothing could be read on their faces.  
  
"Where are we going?" Cath asked, rubbing her hands together. "I'm starved."  
  
"How about the Smorgasboard?" Nick offered.  
  
"What did you say?" Catherine yelped. She could have sworn he said orgasm. She searched his eyes. 'He knew!' she thought. 'That little weasel knows and he's gonna take every opportunity to tease us.' She knew Nicky would never say anything to anyone else. That was one of the things she loved about him. His ability to keep his mouth shut.  
  
"You know the Smorgasboard?" Nick replied calmly, keeping his smile in check. "We went there last month." He knew what she'd thought he'd said, and it was all he could do to keep from laughing outright.  
  
"Yeah.yes, I remember it," Catherine stammered. "Let's go."  
  
Ten minutes later they were all squeezing into a booth at the restaurant. Catherine was sandwiched between Gil and the wall. She had to marvel at the way Nick had maneuvered that. His Texas charm at it's most. Luckily no one noticed the flushed look to her face in the dimness of the restaurant. She was acutely aware of the way Gil's thigh was pressed against hers. To make matters worse, he'd draped one arm over the back of the booth and she could feel forearm on the back of her neck. Idly, she wondered what they'd do if she turned to Gil and kissed him with all the passion in her. If she could survive this, she knew she could survive anything. She took a long swallow of ice water, almost choking when she felt Gil's fingers massaging the back of her neck.  
  
"What are you going to have, Cath?" Gil asked her. The others were busy perusing their menus and paid no attention to the two of them.  
  
'Ooohhh, he's really enjoying this,' she thought, narrowing her eyes at him. 'Well, two can play that game.' She ran her hand up his inner thigh, relishing in the way his eyes darkened. "Oh, I'm thinking of a steak, medium rare. And a beer. I really need a beer."  
  
Snapping her menu shut, Sara replied. "Sounds good to me. One beer isn't gonna kill us."  
  
Gil withdrew his hand from Catherine's neck and slid it over hers on his thigh, playing with her fingers. "Fine with me. Just one though. I'll abstain since I'm driving."  
  
The waiter came by and they all placed their orders. Conversation flowed easily between them while waiting for their dinner. It didn't take long for their food and they ate quickly, as if they were afraid a call would come in and they wouldn't get to finish their meals. The drive back was made mostly in silence, the food making them all sleepy. Just as they reached the parking lot, Gil's pager went off. "Family of five found dead at the Excalibur. Apparently shot execution style then the dad turned the gun on himself," he informed the group. "We'll all go and get this processed. Sounds pretty cut and dried."  
  
Grateful for the distraction, although she hated the thought of people dying, Catherine climbed back into the Tahoe. She knew they all felt that way. She sat in silence while Nick, Warrick and Sara went to get their kits, hers having been left in the Tahoe since yesterday. Turning to Gil, she took his left hand in hers.  
  
"Lindsey is going to Eddie's for the weekend," she began. "We both have tomorrow night off."  
  
"Want to go for dinner?" Gil asked her.  
  
"I was thinking we could stay in. At my place, or yours," She offered.  
  
Gil risked a caress to her cheek. "Sounds good. I'll bring dinner. Six ok with you?"  
  
She nodded and was prevented from saying more, by Warrick opening the back door and climbing in. Reluctantly, she withdrew her hand and turned to look out the window. After they had piled into the Tahoe again, Gil drove to the Excalibur. They were met by Brass as they arrived.  
  
"Room 320," Brass filled Grissom in. "Apparently the family comes out here for a vacation, dad drops a bundle on the craps table, loses, then shoots his family, then himself." The disgust was obvious in his voice. "It's not pretty. One of the kids tried to run. Shot several times before actually hitting the kid."  
  
Gil turned to the group, "I don't have to tell you what to do. Let's get this processed." They rode the elevator to the third floor and quickly located the room; it wasn't hard, police swarmed the area.  
  
Hours later, the bodies gone and the room processed, Catherine approached Grissom. "Ok, this is pretty cut and dried, Gris," she unconsciously reverted back to his nickname; the horror of the crime had replaced any other emotion for her at the moment. "Dad came in, family was sleeping. He shot mom first, maybe to spare her from the horror at seeing her kids killed. Shot the oldest next and on down the line," she pointed at the blood spatters. "The youngest tried to run, hence the holes in the wall," she pointed to three bullet holes in the short hallway. "Then he lay on the bed next to his wife and shot himself in the head." She looked around the room again. "Nothing suggests that there was anyone else here."  
  
Gil nodded, he saw the sorrow in her eyes and it pained him. But he was pleased with the way she handled herself. His team were professionals and they did their job with dedication. He knew it wasn't easy on any of them. He looked at his watch; 7:00. "You need to go see Lindsey."  
  
She nodded. "I need to hold her for a few minutes before taking her to school."  
  
"I'll walk you out." Gil guided her out of the room. He waited until they'd reached the Tahoe before speaking. "Cath if you don't."  
  
"No, Gil, I still want you to come over." She smiled at him. "I just need to hold Lindsey and I'll be fine." She looked around, and then kissed him softly, breathing in his scent. "Don't be late." She climbed in the truck, but stopped before closing the door. "How are you gonna get back?"  
  
"Nick's still here, I'll catch a ride with him." He leaned in and kissed her one last time. "I love you, Cath."  
  
Catherine touched his lips with her fingers. "I love you too, Gil." She let him shut her door and she started the Tahoe, heading home to her daughter and the relative safety her home provided.  
  
tbc...ok, done with that. Next part will be the promised sex scene. Hopefully I'll have it up in the next few days. May have to do some finagling since I can't post NC-17 here, but I'll work it out.  
  
The sex and nothing but the sex. If that turns you off (yeah, right),  
  
you've been warned. Please R/R or I'll with hold the sex. Isn't that  
  
just like a woman?! ;) 


	5. Friends to Lovers

Disclaimers: I hate these. I don't own these people. But they are my adult Ken and Barbie and I will put them in any situation or position that I wish to. *vbg*.  
  
AN: My thanks to many, many people. First of all to Angie, the bestest damn beta that ever lived!! I love you Angie, you're great. Second to Ann, for all her encouragement and help writing this. She gets credit for a portion, but you'll have to guess what she wrote. I'm not tellin'! Also, she gets the first right of preview. Next to Allie, Laeta and Manda for the encouragement and suggestions. Hell, I just thank everyone!!! Much love to the Graveyard Shift. All y'all rock they nessly rock!!  
  
Rating: Strong R, very strong R  
  
  
  
"Linds, I found your Power Puff Girls game. Do you have your Game Boy?" Catherine called to her daughter from the living room. She was finishing up packing Lindsey's overnight bag. Eddie would be here any minute to pick up Lindsey for the weekend.  
  
"Right here in my backpack." Lindsey ran up to her mother. "You sure you're not going to get lonely? Uncle Gil is coming over for sure?" Worry could be heard in Lindsey's voice.  
  
"Yes, honey, Uncle Gil is coming over. And no, I won't be lonely. But I will miss you." Catherine smiled at her daughter. She had briefly discussed with her that Uncle Gil was going to be over tonight when Lindsey had expressed concern that she wouldn't have anything to do. She hadn't gone into details, but Lindsey knew that he was coming over for a 'date', and she was excited.  
  
The doorbell rang and Lindsey ran to open it. "Daddy!" she squealed and launched herself into his arms.  
  
"Hi, Pumpkin. How are you today?" He kissed her cheek. He nodded to Catherine. "You ready to go?" He put her down and she ran to get her things.  
  
"When will you have her back, Eddie?" Catherine didn't like the way he wouldn't meet her eyes.  
  
"By four on Sunday. I really appreciate this, Cath." He looked at her then and she could see he was sober. She felt some measure of relief at that. "My parents are coming down and they'd love to spend some time with her."  
  
"Ok, Daddy, I'm ready." Lindsey turned to her mother. "I'll see you later, Mom." She reached out and hugged her.  
  
Catherine wrapped her arms around her daughter and hugged her tightly. "Have a good time and mind your manners. I love you Linds."  
  
"I love you too." Lindsey turned and ran out to her father's waiting car, her parents following her.  
  
Catherine watched her go. "I'll take good care of her, Cat. I promise."  
  
She nodded, "I know you will. I'll see you Sunday." She watched as he walked out to his car. Satisfied that Lindsey was buckled in, she turned back and went into the house.  
  
She had less than two hours before Gil was due and she needed to get ready. She felt slightly silly for placing candles around her bed, but put them there anyway. Who knew if they'd get around to lighting them? Catherine looked around her bedroom; she loved this room. It was her safe haven, her place to go and unwind after a bad night at work. The walls were painted a pale peach with white wainscoting gracing the bottom half of the walls. She'd found an old freestanding cupboard at a local flea market to use as a nightstand and had stripped it, and then white washed it to match the wardrobe she purchased from a do-it-yourself store. A white comforter with eyelet lace borders covered the full size bed with its baby blue sheets. All around the room, buttery yellows, baby blues and soft rose colors broke what could have been a monotony of white. This room was at odds with the Catherine most people saw. It was soft and romantic, wistful and peaceful.  
  
Her bathroom carried on the soft peaceful theme of her bedroom. The claw foot tub was her favorite feature. She'd conned Eddie into installing running shelves around three walls of the bathroom and she found mismatched picture frames and the odd nick-knack to adorn the shelves, along with her myriad of bath oils and beads. Lindsey loved her mother's bathroom and used any excuse to be able to 'swim' in the tub, and play with her oils and fragrances. It was a typical mother and daughter thing, but one that Catherine had never shared with her own mother. Eddie had griped and complained about her decorating the bathroom and the bedroom, saying it was too 'girly' but she had persevered and had gotten her way. Her bedroom and bath were her favorite placed to relax; Gil rode roller coasters, Catherine took long soaks in the tub. She ran her bath water, adding some richly scented bath oil. While the water ran, filling the bathroom with thick steam, she piled her hair high up on her head, fastening it with some of Lindsey's small butterfly shaped clips. She had just settled herself in the water, letting the warmth as well as the scent of lilacs wash over her when her phone rang. She reached over to the small white wicker table and picked up the handset.  
  
"Willows," she answered.  
  
"Hi," Gil's voice poured over her, warm and inviting.  
  
"Hi yourself," she answered, settling back into the water. God, how she loved his voice.  
  
"What are you doing? You're echoing."  
  
"Uh.I'm in the tub," Catherine answered him.  
  
"Really? Need any help?" Gil's voice was low and teasing, sending shivers up her spine.  
  
She giggled and answered him, "I think I've got it this time. But maybe later, I'm sure I'll need help then." Her mind conjured up an image of him naked and wet, washing her body, touching and teasing. She forced her mind from that pleasant thought.  
  
Gil paused, his mind's eye visualizing her in the tub, hair piled high with tendrils falling around her damp shoulders. He could see the water glistening off her body, almost smell the fragrance of her soap and he felt his body reacting to those thoughts. Shifting against the suddenly too tight jeans, he forced his mind away from visions of her in the tub and on to more practical things, like dinner.  
  
"So, uh, does Chinese food sound ok?" God, he sounded like a fourteen year old on his first date. He could hear water sloshing as she moved in the tub. 'This is going to kill me,' he thought. He shifted again.  
  
"It sounds fine, I have some wine, you don't need to bring that." Catherine said, playing with the faucet with her toe. Her foot slipped, causing some water to splash outside the tub.  
  
"Uh, Cath, I need to go now," his voice was strained.  
  
Catherine smiled into the phone, she could hear his quick intake of breath and knew what he was thinking; she was thinking the same thing. "Ok. Gil?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Lowering her voice to a whisper, she said, "I'll see you in about an hour." "An hour. Bye," Gil didn't disconnect.  
  
"Are you going to hang up?" Catherine laughed.  
  
"You first," he countered.  
  
"You sound like Lindsey," Catherine choked out.  
  
"Ok, bye. Love you." Then he was gone.  
  
Catherine smiled as she dropped the phone back on the table. Knowing that she only had an hour to be ready, Catherine finished bathing quickly and got dressed. She had just finished her hair and makeup when the doorbell rang. She walked slowly to the door, trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach.  
  
Hoping that her nervousness didn't show, she opened the door, revealing Gil standing there holding a bag of take-out food.  
  
"Hi." She wondered if she sounded as breathless as she felt. He looked gorgeous, standing there in faded jeans and a soft blue button down shirt that she knew would match his eyes perfectly when he removed his sunglasses, and her heart dropped to her stomach and back again. She backed up a step to let him enter.  
  
Gil stood there for a moment, taking in the sight of her. She was stunning. The dark blue shirt was open at the collar, exposing the tops of her breasts and unbuttoned enough at the bottom for him to see her navel above the low cut of her jeans. Her feet were bare, the toes painted a soft pink.  
  
"Are you going to come in?" Catherine was amused and flattered. It had been a long time since a man had so obviously found her attractive. She smiled gently at him as he brushed past her.  
  
"Do you want these in the kitchen?"  
  
"That would be fine." Catherine trailed him into her kitchen. She watched as he set the bags down on the dark blue tiles of the counter. "Do you want some wine?"  
  
He turned toward her and smiled at her. "I would love some. I'll get the glasses."  
  
Catherine went to the refrigerator and took out the bottle of wine she had bought that morning. Gil handed her the glasses and took the bottle from her, opening it deftly. He obviously knew his way around a wine bottle. Catherine rarely drank wine, preferring something stronger. She watched him pour the amber liquid into the glasses she held.  
  
She took a sip of the sweet wine and had to restrain herself from downing the contents in one swallow. She couldn't remember the last time she had been so nervous with a man. But this wasn't any man, this was Gil Grissom. A man she'd known for years. A man that had seen her at her worst and still stood beside her. This was a man that she loved and wanted more than anyone before.  
  
"Are you hungry?" He asked her.  
  
Was she hungry? She was hungry for his touch, for the feel of his mouth on hers, for his body pressed against hers. She wasn't really hungry for food. But she knew she couldn't be so bold as to tell him that, so she nodded. She walked over to the cupboard to get two plates down. She had just grasped the rims when she felt him behind her. It was just a light brush against her back, but she felt the touch all the way through her.  
  
Gil wasn't hungry and he knew she wasn't either. He stepped up behind her and leaned down, gently nuzzling her cheek. He felt her relax against him and brushed his mouth over her jaw line, not a kiss, but a soft caress. He tucked some hair behind her ear, his fingers gently tracing her ear, then skimming his lips over it. He heard her sharp intake of breath and smiled. Taking her hand from the plates he turned her toward him. Her eyes were half closed, her breathing rapid and shallow. He leaned down to kiss her and she met his lips halfway. The kiss was soft and gentle but full of longing and pent up passion.  
  
Catherine wrapped one arm around his neck, twining her fingers in his hair, while her other hand slid up his chest, clenching his shirt. Desire swept through her, hot and swift as he moved his lips from her mouth to her ear. She gasped and her knees buckled, his arms around her the only things keeping her upright. She shivered as his tongue traced the outer shell of her ear. She'd never known that her ears could be so sensitive.  
  
"Gil.please," she moaned, surprising herself. She turned her head toward him, kissing his jaw, moving to his mouth. She tugged lightly at his bottom lip, taking it into her mouth and sucking gently. She felt his hands rest low on her back, pulling her to him, his erection pressing against her abdomen. Her body was on fire now and she kissed him forcefully, her tongue thrusting into his mouth.  
  
He met her tongue with his own, taking everything she was offering and giving it back tenfold. He ran his hands down her back, cupping her butt, lifting her up against him. Catherine wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. He pulled back and looked at her, question in his eyes.  
  
She nodded, words weren't needed; they seldom were between them. She nuzzled his neck, kissing lightly and inhaling his sent, as he carried her to the bedroom. He set her on her feet next to the bed and she heard him groan as she slid down his body. Walking over to the phone, she pulled the cord out, and then turned and looked at him. "No interruptions. Do you have your cell with you?"  
  
He shook his head. "In the car."  
  
She walked over to him and ran her hands over his hips, moving slowly up his chest, resting at the top button of his shirt. She kissed the underside of his chin, tonguing the cleft in his chin. "Do you have your pager turned off?" Slowly, she undid the top button of his shirt.  
  
"It is now," He answered, pulling the pager from its resting place on his hip. He turned it off with one flick of his index finger and tossed it on the Cherry Brentwood rocker. This was a first for Gil Grissom. Never before had he turned off his pager voluntarily and never before had he put anyone before his work, preferring to answer the summons no matter where he was or what he was doing. But this was Catherine; this was the woman he loved and he would do anything for her.  
  
Gazing into his eyes, Catherine read the revelation there and it thrilled her. She unhooked the rest of the buttons one by one, pausing to kiss each part of exposed skin. She took her time, savoring the experience. She pushed the material over his shoulders as she took one nipple into her mouth, sucking lightly, and then harder as his breathing became rapid and irregular. With hands that shook, both from desire and some nervousness, she unbuttoned his jeans and slid the zipper down, careful of his erection that was straining for release. Gracefully dropping to her knees, she slid his pants down with open palms, caressing the exposed skin. She removed his shoes, then socks and proceeded to remove the jeans from his body, tossing them across the room. She kissed her way back up his body, bypassing his erection. While she enjoyed oral sex, she wanted him inside of her when he came, to see his eyes darken with passion and release. Once again on her feet, she fused her mouth to his, her tongue exploring his mouth, memorizing it.  
  
Gil stepped back and out of her embrace. "My turn," he whispered, his voice low and sexy, sending shivers down her spine. He leaned down and kissed the creamy tops of her breasts, then unbuttoned her shirt, keeping the same slow, sensual pace she had used with him. Her head fell back as he kissed his way to the base of her throat, his tongue tracing her pounding pulse. He slid the shirt from her body, kissing her shoulders softly. He watched her breasts in the confines of the red bra she wore, heave with every ragged breath she took. He was pleased that she was as aroused as he was and he turned his attention to the jeans she wore, unbuttoning the fly with careful precision. She whimpered softly as he dropped to his knees and placed a hot, wet kiss to her navel. After removing her jeans, he stood and stared at her, awestruck by her beauty.  
  
"You are.incredible." His voice was hoarse, full of desire and awe. "Absolutely beautiful." He watched bewildered as her eyes filled with tears. "Cath? What's wrong?"  
  
"No one has ever told me that before. Not in this way."  
  
"They were stupid. You're stunning." Gil traced the scalloped edge of her bra, trailing his fingers down the straps and stroking the tops of her breasts. He leaned forward and followed that path with his tongue, eliciting a soft moan from her. Reaching around her, he undid the clasp on her bra and slid it off her arms. He marveled at the perfection of her breasts, feeling their heaviness in his hands, thumbs caressing the hardened nipples. "Perfect," he muttered.  
  
"I'm not perfect, Gil," Catherine replied.  
  
Gil picked her up and gently deposited her in the center of the bed. "You're close enough to perfect for me."  
  
Catherine rewarded him with a stunning smile. She lay on her back and opened her arms to him. "Make love to me." She watched as he slid his boxers off and kicked them aside. Gazing at his erection, she whistled. "You've definitely been holding out on me, Gil."  
  
Gil felt the redness creep up his face; this was entirely new to him. "It has been awhile for you, hasn't it?"  
  
Catherine giggled and grabbed his hand. "Get over here. Just don't hurt me with that."  
  
"I would never hurt you with it, Cath, unless you asked, of course." Gil winked at her. He slid onto the bed next to her, propping himself on one elbow. He traced her face gently, resting his fingers on her lips. He kissed her then, softly then more forcefully. He trailed his lips down her neck to her breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth and nipping, then sucking.  
  
She arched her back, offering him more. She watched as he moved his mouth to her other breast and blew hotly on it. He continued his slow exploration of her body, pausing here and there to kiss and suck. By the time he reached her panties, she was panting with need. She watched him pause, look at her, and while keeping his eyes locked on hers; he gently slid the red scrap of material over her hips and down her legs. He slid his hands up her legs and over her thighs. Finding her center, he stroked her, sliding one finger, then two inside her. She was beyond being merely ready for him and his body refused to wait any longer to be inside her. He positioned himself between her legs, levering himself on his elbows.  
  
"I love you, Catherine Elizabeth." With those words, Gil entered her slowly. He heard her sigh, a lusty sound from deep in her throat. He paused to give her time to adjust to him, but couldn't hold back when she wrapped her legs high around his hips and with a motion of impatience thrust her hips to meet his in a moment of utter perfection. At that moment, the world stopped spinning and they looked at each other, wonder covering their faces. They hovered there for a small eternity; face to face, heart to heart, body to body before the passion overtook them and they began to move as one.  
  
"God, you feel.so.good," she whispered. "So good." Catherine ran her hands over his chest and to his hips, digging her fingers into him, her eyes sliding shut as the sensations washed over her in waves. She knew she was close to the edge, so close. Her nerve endings were on fire and every sensation was multiplied. The feel of him inside her filling her, of his chest brushing her nipples, his lips and hands on her body; all of it combining to an almost overwhelming awareness and she felt that she would fly apart. The only sounds in the room were soft sighs and whimpers; whispered words of encouragement; the sounds of lovers worldwide.  
  
Gil was close to his orgasm and he slowed; attempting to hold off; he wanted this feeling to last forever. The feeling of being buried deep within her, of her muscles clenching and unclenching around him. Of her soft hands and lips caressing him. He never knew it could be like this, that two people could really become one. And he knew it was because of her. Everything good in him was because of her and he would spend every moment of his life thanking God for her.  
  
He knew she was close and he whispered into her ear, "Let it go, Baby. I'm right behind you."  
  
Catherine's eyes flew open and focused on his as her world exploded around her. Wave after wave of ecstasy flowed over her and she rode each one out, her nails digging into his back, her voice crying out his name.  
  
Gil watched as her orgasm took her and he increased his thrusts, his body demanding its own release. He all but screamed her name as his body convulsed and he emptied himself deep within her.  
  
"Oh.my.God," he gasped out, resting his forehead against hers. He saw the tears spilling down her cheeks and was bewildered. "Cath?"  
  
"I'm fine," she answered his unasked question. "It's just.it was so.beautiful. So amazing. Reaction," she attempted to explain. "I love you. I love you so much. I can never tell you how." she trailed off, too moved to put her thoughts into words.  
  
"You don't have to say anything, I already know." He knew his words were inadequate, they usually were. But he loved her and he knew that it was enough for them right now. He kissed her, long and slow, and then rolled to his back, taking her with him, cuddling her to his side. He tugged at a lock of her silky hair. He loved her hair, it was so beautiful and he told her so. "You know," he teased. "I always knew you weren't a natural blonde."  
  
Catherine swatted at him. "Let's just keep that our little secret, ok?" She kissed him forcefully. "How long til we can do that again?"  
  
"Let this old man catch his breath."  
  
Catherine threw one long slender leg over his hips. "I think I can wait, for at least a few minutes anyway. Any longer, and I won't be responsible for my actions."  
  
"Woman, you are going to be the death of me," Gil groaned and hugged her tighter to his side.  
  
"Yeah, but what a way to go," Catherine mumbled, feeling suddenly sleepy. She lay her head down on his chest, listening to his breathing. "Love you," tumbled from her lips just before sleep claimed her.  
  
Waking slowly, Catherine became aware of the warm body pressed against her, the arms holding her. She looked up to find Gil's eyes on her. "How long have I been asleep?" she asked, stretching cat-like against him.  
  
"About a half an hour. Are you hungry?" His eyes roamed over her, taking in the softness on her face.  
  
"Nope," she answered. She positioned herself above him, straddling him, resting her slight weight on her hands and knees. "Did you catch your breath?" she asked him. She leaned forward and captured his bottom lip with hers, pulling it into her mouth and sucking gently.  
  
"Yes, I did," he answered, his hands roaming down her nude form, coming to rest on her hips. He'd stayed awake while she slept, content to hold her and watch her even breathing. He walked the fingers of his right hand up her spine and resting his hand between her shoulder blades, he pressed her upper body to his. He kissed her long and hard, his tongue mating with hers. "I've been waiting for you to wake up."  
  
She levered herself up on her palms, smiling at him sensually. "You don't have to wait anymore." She slowly kissed her way down his body, finding new places to kiss and caress. She reached down and grasped him, lightly stroking the underside of his shaft with her thumb. Pausing above his erection, looked at him with one eyebrow raised and a wicked grin on her lips, before running her tongue around the tip and taking him deep into her mouth.  
  
"Jesus! Cath," Gil's exclamation ended in a groan as he felt her lips slide down his erection and back to the tip. He threaded the fingers of one hand through her hair, holding her to him, resisting the urge to thrust upward with his hips. He breathed deeply, fighting for control as she tightened her lips around him, her mouth sucking gently.  
  
Catherine wrapped one hand around his shaft while taking his balls into her mouth, sucking one first, then the other. She moved back to his burgeoning erection, her sliding over him, her tongue swirling around the head. The sounds coming from him excited her as well as the feel of his hard shaft in her mouth. With controlled movements she tightened her hand around him, squeezing as she neared the tip as well as increasing the pressure of her lips and tongue. She relaxed as she sank down, taking his length into her mouth. She moved her head and hand faster when she felt him grow even larger and she knew his release was imminent.  
  
"Oh, yes. God. Yes," Gil was moaning, his body covered in sweat, his breaths coming in heaving gasps. He knew he couldn't hold out any longer and with a cry, he emptied himself into her mouth.  
  
Catherine continued her ministrations for a moment, milking him, not wanting to miss anything he gave her. She felt him soften and she crawled back up his body. He surprised her by pulling her to him and kissing her forcefully, his tongue exploring her mouth.  
  
Gil could taste himself and instead of turning him off as he might have thought, it aroused him again. He twined his legs with hers and flipped her onto her back. Hovering above her, he whispered, "My turn." He watched in fascination as her eyes darkened and her tongue flick out and lick her bottom lip.  
  
He started with her breasts, running his tongue around the areola then taking the nipple into his mouth, pulling and biting gently. He then moved down her flat stomach, his hands running over her hips to her thighs, settling himself between them. He traced her inner thigh with his tongue, moving to her center. He blew gently on her, and then turned his head to her other thigh, kissing and sucking on it.  
  
Catherine whimpered as he teased her, his soft lips and tongue felt wonderful, but it wasn't where she wanted his mouth. Her body tightened in anticipation as his moved closer to her center and she jumped slightly when his tongue darted out and touched her, once, then twice.  
  
Gil slid two fingers into her, stroking, as his tongue manipulated her clit. He moved his tongue faster, her whimpers and sighs encouraging him.  
  
"Yes. God, Gil," she moaned, her eyes sliding shut. "Right there, oh.yes." Catherine felt her muscles tense as her orgasm threatened. His mouth felt so good on her and his tongue was driving her mad with desire. "Fuck yes!" she screamed as she came suddenly and explosively, her hips bucking and her fists knotting the sheets.  
  
Opening her eyes, she focused on Gil leaning over her, an amused smile on his face. "Fuck yes?"  
  
She caressed his cheek and smiled sheepishly. "It just came out," she answered him, shrugging her shoulders.  
  
"I noticed," he chuckled. He touched her lips and she could smell her scent on them. She quirked one eyebrow at him, suggestively and smiled. "Again?" he asked.  
  
"Can I help it if I'm insatiable?" She leaned up and kissed him. "Or that you're irresistible?" She licked his lower lip. She could feel his erection against her hip. "Don't tell me you don't want to. I won't believe you," she whispered, rolling them over and straddling his hips.  
  
"I cannot tell a lie," Gil quipped, as she positioned herself over him. They sighed in unison as she slid to his base. They gazed at each other for a moment, neither one moving. She reminded him of Aphrodite rising from the sea-foam, secure in her beauty and sensuality; her eyes alight with desire and love. "God, you're beautiful," Gil whispered, his eyes conveying his love for her.  
  
She started to move, her gaze never wavering from his. She kept the pace slow for a few minutes, trying to draw the pleasure out as long as she could. She grasped his hands, twining her fingers through his, their hips never missing a beat. The sensation of him filling her and his wiry pubic hair scraping her sensitive skin was sending her senses into overload. She moved faster, her breath coming in gasps.  
  
"Just a little more, Baby," he whispered.  
  
"Can't.fast.enough," she gasped out. Her orgasm was just beyond her reach and she was straining for it. She felt Gil's hands move to her hips, holding her and thrusting into her faster and harder. She bit her bottom lip and threw her head back as she felt her orgasm washed over her.  
  
Gil thrust deeply into her a few more times before his body shuddered with orgasmic bliss. His hips stilled their frantic movements and he felt Catherine slump against his chest. He ran his hands over her back up to her shoulders, stroking softly.  
  
"I can't move," Catherine groaned, kissing his chest.  
  
Gil chuckled. "Not even for food?"  
  
She looked at him, and then kissed his chin. "Hmmm, I'm not sure." As if on cue, her stomach growled. "Then again."  
  
They both laughed, but stayed the way they were for a few moments, savoring their closeness. Catherine rolled off Gil when her stomach rumbled loudly. She leaned over the edge of the bed, grabbed his boxers and threw them at him. "Kitchen chairs are cold," she said, by way of explanation. She got off the bed and slipped into his shirt that had been discarded earlier.  
  
Gil watched as she buttoned a few of the buttons. The shirttails hung to mid-calf, and the opened top left little to Gil's imagination. He slid into his boxers and walked over to her. "I love you in my shirt," he whispered in her ear. Nuzzling her neck, he continued, "Of course I love you better out of it."  
  
Catherine giggled and turned to him, finding his mouth with her own, kissing him thoroughly. Pulling her head back slightly, she raised one eyebrow. "Again?" she echoed his words from earlier, feeling his arousal pressed firmly against her.  
  
Gil smiled at her, both eyebrows raised and said nothing.  
  
Catherine snorted, and rolled her eyes. "Please Gil, I don't have that much stamina. Gotta feed the machine first." She threaded her fingers through his and led him to the kitchen.  
  
Reaching for one of the containers, she pulled out a single lo-mien noodle with her fingers and put it to her lips, sucking it in slowly. Catherine laughed as a bit of sauce splashed against the outside of her lips. She moved her tongue out slowly, effectively ridding her mouth of the sauce.  
  
"Mmmm. That looks good." Gil leaned forward, intent on pressing his lips to hers. He frowned when she pressed her hand to his chest, effectively stopping him from furthering his motions.  
  
"It's cold." She smiled at his pout.  
  
"I don't care." He removed the container from her grip and placed it on the counter. "The food's not what I'm interested in, anyway."  
  
"Gil, I'm starving." She swatted his hand away from her hip and walked to the other side of the counter, knowing that if she gave into him, for another several hours, food would once again become an afterthought.  
  
She arched her neck to look back at him as she poured the noodles onto a plate and set it in the microwave. "Three minutes until bliss."  
  
"Three minutes, huh? I thought you said we had to wait until after we ate." He gave her a small wink before standing up and heading in her direction.  
  
"I was talking about the Chinese food, silly." She smiled when she felt his body behind her. Tilting her head back onto his shoulder, she met his mouth briefly. When she pulled back and saw the passion in his eyes, she leaned into him again, grazing her tongue across his lips and snaking her arm around his neck pulling him closer. He opened his mouth to her and groaned when she backed into his arousal.  
  
"Oh..God, Cath." He grasped onto her hips, holding her tightly to him. His eyes opened widely and her head shot up, when the sound of the microwave's bell, echoed through the room. "Dammit," he muttered into her neck.  
  
"Dinner's ready." She giggled and moved to open the door, pulling the steaming plate of noodles from the small oven. "Let's eat."  
  
They sat at the table, chairs next to each other, her legs thrown over his. He had an arm around her waist, wanting to touch her every moment. They sat feeding each other and talking, about nothing, yet everything.  
  
When they'd polished off the plate of food and the bottle of wine, Gil stood and led her to the living room, stopping to put in an Eagles cd, setting it to random. Gil walked back to her and took her hand in his. He slid one arm around her waist, his fist clenching the fabric of his shirt as he pulled her to him. They began to sway slowly as the music filled the room. She leaned her forehead into his neck, her fingers caressing his back. They stayed that way for a few moments, and then he gently dipped her back and kissed the column of her throat, moving his lips down to her chest.  
  
"You smell so good. I love the way you smell," he said, breathing deeply. He pulled her back up against his chest, his face going to her neck, his fingers stroking her back. "I love your neck." He kissed her, his lips moving up to her ear.  
  
Without realizing it, they'd stopped and were standing there pressed closely together, savoring the feel of each other. Catherine took his hand and led him back to the bedroom. With a hand on his chest, she pushed him backward towards the bed. She crawled onto the bed, leaned up and met his mouth with her own. She slid her hand down his waist and snagged the waistband of his boxers, pushing them down his legs.  
  
Gil kicked them aside and crawled next to her. He stretched his body out, pulling her to him and kissing her passionately. The kissed and stroked each other, restarting a fire that had been banked, but not out. He rolled to his back, pulling her onto his chest, his fingers winding through her hair.  
  
"Do you trust me?" she whispered in his ear, her breath hot, her voice sensual. She traced the tip of her tongue around the shell of his ear, dipping in slightly, and then taking the lobe in her mouth, she bit gently and pulled back, letting his earlobe slide out of her mouth.  
  
"Yes." Gil was slightly wary, but he did trust her. He watched as she climbed off the bed and walked to the closet and then to her dresser where she rummaged in a drawer. She came back with a red sash in one hand and a scarf in the other. He quirked an eyebrow at her and pursed his lips. "Cath?"  
  
"Have you ever had a fantasy, Gil?" She asked him as she walked slowly towards the bed. She put a knee next to his chest on the bed and swung her other leg over him. Leaning forward, Catherine kissed one corner of his mouth, and then the other. She leaned forward to kiss him full on the lips, but pulled back quickly when he tried to kiss her. "No. You can only lie there. You can't touch."  
  
"Control, Cath?" Gil asked her, an amused grin on his face.  
  
She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe. Never thought about it." She smiled sensually. "Give me your hands; wrists together, please." She kept her voice low and husky. At his hesitation, she continued, "We can stop whenever you feel uncomfortable or whenever you're."she paused, smiling devilishly, "ready."  
  
He nodded and held out his hands to her. She quickly tied the sash around them, knotting it securely, but not tight enough to chafe. She then tied the other end to vertical slat in the headboard, making sure it was loose enough she could untie it quickly. Catherine then gently tied the scarf around his eyes, blindfolding him.  
  
"You ready?" she asked, her mouth millimeters from his ear. At his affirmative nod, she kissed his ear, taking her time, running her tongue over it and blowing on the lobe. She moved down to his neck, kissing and sucking. Her mouth moved to his Adam's apple, sucking gently. She took her time, her lips barely skimming his flesh in places. Sitting up, she swung her leg over him and knelt beside him. She was careful to touch him with only her lips and fingers. She paused at his nipple, swirling her tongue around it, and then sucking it into her mouth. She heard him groan and shift his upper body.  
  
"You ok?" she whispered. As much as she was enjoying this, she would stop anytime he asked her to.  
  
"Yeah." he turned his head to her. "Keep going."  
  
"Good." Catherine turned her attention back to him. She moved to his legs, spreading them as she ran the tips of her fingers over them. Surprising him, she kissed his navel and traced the trail of hair, stopping just short of his erection. She then kissed his inner thigh; sucking and biting. She sucked harder, inexplicably pleased at the red mark she'd made. She turned her attention to his other thigh, giving it the same treatment.  
  
"Catherine!" Gil moaned when she ran her tongue around his pelvis, almost, but not touching his penis. He shifted his hips; he wanted her mouth on him. He moaned again as he felt her move up his body, her nipple brushing his erection. "Tease," he muttered. He was incredibly aroused and he wanted to touch her so badly, but this was her fantasy, her game, and he would play along as long as he could stand it. Her lips were so soft, as were her fingers, exerting just the right amount of pressure in some places and skimming his skin in others. He was on fire now and tugged at the sash that bound his wrists. Her mouth and fingers were doing erotic things to his body and wanted to bury himself in her now. He could feel his body starting to sweat and his arousal increasing until it was bordering on painful.  
  
"Cath," he gasped out. "Untie me. Now!" He felt her hands slide the blindfold off his head.  
  
She reached up to untie his wrists. "Shit!" she muttered. He'd pulled on them, effectively tightening the knot. She worked her fingers frantically; she was as turned on as he was. And she wanted him to touch her, now. After what seemed like minutes, but was only a few seconds she had the knot loosened and his wrists slipped out.  
  
Gil wasted no time, her breasts were inches from his mouth and he latched onto one, sucking hard, making her gasp in pleasure. He quickly flipped her onto her back, taking her mouth roughly with his, the kiss almost punishing in its intensity. Her legs had already wound themselves around his hips, her ankles locked behind his back, open and ready for him. Gil plunged into her; his need almost out of control. He paused for a second, not wanting to hurt her, but at her frantic gesture and gasped, "Hurry" he pulled back and slammed into her.  
  
"God, yes. Gil. Harder," Catherine whimpered into his ear, her fingers digging into his back. She bit her lip as he pounded into her.  
  
"Cath.Jesus!" The sweat was pouring down his neck as he increased his speed. Her inner muscles were squeezing him tightly, increasing the sensations running through him. He buried his head in her neck, tasting her own sweat.  
  
"Yes, hmmm, so good. So good." Catherine threw her hands back and clutched the slatted headboard, bracing herself.  
  
"God, Babe. You're so tight. So damned tight." He exploded inside her, his semen flooding her inner walls.  
  
"Oh God, oh my God," Catherine screamed as his orgasm triggered her own. Her mouth found his neck and she bit him hard, her body shuddering under the intensity of her release.  
  
"Damn!" Gil exclaimed, slumping onto her, kissing her breasts. He lifted his head, "Are you okay?"  
  
Catherine was shaking, her whole body trembling. "Oh my God, oh my God," she heaved out, her voice shaky. She pressed a fist into her eye.  
  
"Are you alright?" Gil was concerned and he levered himself on his elbows. "Did I hurt you?"  
  
"No, it was.Oh my God," she kissed him, her voice sounding somewhere between a laugh and a cry. "Holy shit, Gil. You were incredible. Jesus!" Her head fell back against the pillows.  
  
He chuckled softly and lay his head down on her breasts. He could feel her body still trembling, her thighs shaking around him, fingers trembling against his back. Reaching down, he pulled the comforter up and over them; the room air cooling their overheated and sweat slicked bodies quickly. He leaned up and kissed her again, long and slow before rolling to his side, cradling her in his arms.  
  
Catherine twined her leg between his and they slid quietly into sleep, their bodies sated and their hearts full.  
  
Tbc: The next morning. *grinning widely* and the next afternoon, and the night at work (hmmm) and Sunday after work. 


	6. Friends and Lovers part a?

Disclaimers are in the first part.  
  
AN: I decided to crop this chapter into parts. It was about 12 pages and counting. Now maybe I can get these rabid fans off of my back. J/k I love the encouragement. Is there anything left to say? Yes, a big thanks to Rita for beta-ing. To all those who kept after me and encouraging me to finish, thank you. I needed the kick in the rear. And to Number 1. You rock, Young Luke, you really do!!! I can't wait to see you. *crosses fingers*  
  
Rating: Strong R. Kiddies stay away. I like to only corrupt those over 17. Right Allie? ;)  
  
Ok, here goes. Hope you enjoy. Read and review. Please?! I'm begging here!!  
Previously in TGATT: "No, it was.Oh my God," she kissed him, her voice sounding somewhere between a laugh and a cry. "Holy shit, Gil. You were incredible. Jesus!" Her head fell back against the pillows.  
  
He chuckled softly and lay his head down on her breasts. He could feel her body still trembling, her thighs shaking around him, fingers trembling against his back. Reaching down, he pulled the comforter up and over them; the room air cooling their overheated and sweat slicked bodies quickly. He leaned up and kissed her again, long and slow before rolling to his side, cradling her in his arms. Catherine twined her leg between his and they slid quietly into sleep, their bodies sated and their hearts full. What? Did you think I was gonna post all of it? Sheesh!!  
The first thing Catherine became aware of when she awoke was the sunlight streaming into her face from the open curtains. Momentarily confused, she lay there, not moving. She usually closed the blinds when she went to sleep to darken the room. Then, the memories of last night washed over her and she sat up, blinking the sleep from her eyes, a soft smile on her face. Gil was not lying next to her and his side of the bed was cold, indicating that he'd been up for awhile. The thought that he might have left before she awoke did not occur to her. She clamored out from under the sheets and comforter, grabbed her robe from out of the closet and walked into the bathroom. After quickly brushing her teeth and pulling her hair into a ponytail, she stepped out of her room into the rest of the house.  
  
"Gil?" she called walking into the living room. It was empty. She stood quietly, listening for the shower running in Lindsey's bathroom, but she heard nothing. She looked around and spied a piece of paper on the coffee table. She walked over and picked it up, a smile gracing her face as she read what he'd written.  
  
'Good mornin' Beautiful, how was your night? Mine was wonderful, with you by my side And when I open my eyes And see your sweet face, It's a good mornin' Beautiful day'  
  
I went to the store, be back soon. Love, Gil  
  
Catherine sighed happily, hugging the note to her chest. She'd heard that song on the radio just the other day and had loved it. She knew she had a sappy, silly grin on her face, but she couldn't help it. She was in love with Gil Grissom, he loved her and the sun was shining and the birds were singing. Everything was perfect. 'Now you're really getting sappy,' she thought. She was heading to the shower when she heard a key turn in the lock. She turned around and forced herself not to run to him as he stepped across the threshold.  
  
"Hi. I thought you would still be asleep," Gil said as he spotted her. He walked over to the table and set the bag of groceries down. He watched her walk toward him, noting the way her robe opened with each step, revealing her inner thigh. He felt the stirring in his loins and wondered if he would ever get enough of this woman. 'Not damn likely,' his inner voice piped up. Gil had been with a few women in his life, but none of them had ever turned him on the way Catherine did. He was going to have to learn to control his desire or he would be walking around with a hard-on 24 hours a day.  
  
"I've been up for a few minutes," she answered him, tilting her mouth to his. "I love your note." She pressed her lips to his. "I love you." She kissed him hungrily, her tongue delving into his mouth.  
  
Gil pulled her body closer to his, his fingers rubbing over the satin of her robe. He kissed the tip of her nose and pulled back. "I love you, too. I picked up some things for breakfast. Are you. . . " The ringing of the phone interrupted him.  
  
She smiled at him apologetically. "It might be Lindsey." She walked over to the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Oh, hey, Sara. What's up?" She felt Gil walk up behind her and had to suppress a giggle when he started nuzzling her neck. She tilted her head, giving him better access and continued her conversation.  
  
"No, I haven't seen him." She slapped his hand lightly as he moved it inside her robe, his fingers playing with her nipple. He continued his ministrations on her neck, using his tongue and teeth, making her body shiver. "Maybe the batteries in his pager are dead and he doesn't know it. Is it an emergency?" She gasped in surprised arousal as Gil moved his hand lower, through her pubic hair and stroked her. "Um, I stubbed my toe," she managed to say to Sara's question. Lowering the phone, she turned to her head to meet Gil's mouth, her tongue mating with his. Suddenly remembering that Sara was on the phone, she turned her attention back to her conversation.  
  
"Sara, I need to go. Yes, if I see him, I will. Ok, bye." She disconnected the phone, letting it drop to the floor. She turned fully to Gil. "You are so bad! What if she heard?" She kissed him forcefully, her tongue skimming his teeth and tracing the contours of his mouth. She leaned back against the wall, opening her robe to his roaming hands. Grabbing the fly of his jeans, she pulled him to her, her hands making quick work of the button and zipper. He had managed to ignite her desire, making her blood boil in a matter of seconds. She couldn't get enough of this man, of his touch or his kisses or his lovemaking. She shoved his jeans and boxers down as far as she could reach, trailing her fingers back up his chest  
  
Gil grabbed both of her hands, pinning them upright against the wall. His head bent down and he ravished her breast with his mouth, making her moan with pleasure, her body writhing under his mouth. He kicked off his shoes, his pants and boxers following. Running his hands down her arms and around her back, he pulled her against him, lifting her slightly.  
  
Catherine wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, rubbing against his arousal. "Now," she muttered, her lips on his neck. Gil thrust into her, long and deep, groaning into her mouth as she took in his length. Her thighs gripped his waist like a vice and she kissed him, her mouth hot and hungry, her tongue searching his mouth, tasting him.  
  
He kept his thrusts slow for as long as he could, but the feel of her body against his and the panting noises she was making into his mouth fueled his desire and he slammed into her faster, keeping time with her bucking hips. Using one arm to hold her to him, he braced his other against the wall. Their lovemaking was fast and furious, their desire for each other too strong to take it slow. He felt her tighten around him, screaming into his mouth as her body shook with her climax. Thrusting deep, he groaned her name as he emptied himself into her.  
  
They stayed that way for a moment, each trying to catch their breath. "Good Morning," she said, smiling at him. She trailed kisses from his neck to his mouth. "No morning after awkwardness for us, is there?" she giggled. "We just acted like two horny teenagers who finally got their hands on each other."  
  
"Well I have been waiting for this for years. I have a lot of time to make up for," he told her, kissing her softly. "Good morning to you, too."  
  
"So have I, Gil," she told him honestly. "I just didn't know I was. We've wasted a lot of time." She kissed his neck again, tasting the sweat. "You smell like sex. Have I ever told you how much I love the smell of sex in the morning?"  
  
"No you left that out of our conversations. Time for a bath?"  
  
"Excellent idea." She smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling.  
  
"Want some company?" God, he how he loved this woman.  
  
"Even more excellent," she quipped in a fake British accent. At his quirked eyebrow, she continued. "Parent Trap. Lindsey's favorite movie, I can recite the entire thing, she watches it enough."  
  
"Go, get the water ready, I'll bring in breakfast," he smacked her butt, chuckling at her surprised yelp.  
  
"What did you get?" she called to him while she walked to her bathroom.  
  
"It's a surprise."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He found her a few minutes later, ensconced in the tub, bubbles up to her neck. "You didn't put any girlie smelling stuff in there did you?" His voice was part amused, part horrified.  
  
"No, I did not. Just regular bubbles out of deference to you." She looked up at him and snorted with laughter.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You." She tried to stifle her laughter. "Standing there with champagne and strawberries. In nothing but a t-shirt and socks." At his affronted look, her laughter bubbled forth again.  
  
He looked down at himself and saw the humor in his attire. "I could go get dressed, just to show you." He set the tray on the wicker table, and turned to go.  
  
"No! Don't go." She grabbed his hand. "Just. . . just get in here." Her peals of laughter echoed off of the tiled walls as he climbed into the tub, t-shirt and socks still on.  
  
"I'm not gonna dry those for you," she managed between giggles.  
  
Gil ran his hands over her calves and rested on the backs of her knees. "Oh, you won't huh? We'll see about that." In a swift move, he jerked back on her legs, pulling her completely under the water. He chuckled as he watched her sit back up, sputtering.  
  
"Gil Grissom!" she choked out, wiping her face with one hand, splashing water at him with the other. "You are so going to pay for that." She grinned at him. "Expect it when you least expect it. What are you laughing at?"  
  
"You. You have bubbles all over your face and hair. Come here." She leaned toward him and he wiped the excess bubbles off.  
  
"Just for that, you have to feed me, and would you take your clothes off," she stated imperiously, leaning back.  
  
"My pleasure. Whipped cream or no?" He handed her the bottle of champagne, "Here, make yourself useful." He took off his socks and t-shirt, wringing them out and tossing them in the sink.  
  
"Whipped cream, please." The cork went flying and champagne bubbled forth. She grabbed a flute, quickly poured him a drink, and then filled her own. She settled back against the tub and took a sip, the liquid floating over her tongue. Sighing happily she closed her eyes for a moment. "Now feed me, my liege." She popped one eye open when she felt something cold and wet hit her nose. "You put whipped cream on my nose!"  
  
"Yes, your Worshipfulness, I did."  
  
"Well get it off!"  
  
"But, your Highness, you look so cute," Gil chuckled, thoroughly enjoying their playful banter. He'd missed it of late. Sighing dramatically at her mock glare, he answered piously, "Oh yes, my beautiful Queen." He leaned forward and licked her nose, getting most of the whipped cream. He wiped the rest off with his fingers. "Now may I feed my insatiable ruler?"  
  
"Yes, you may, my sex-slave. Just don't tell the minions, they'll be jealous." She chortled, her shoulders shaking with mirth.  
  
"You sure are getting uppity," he commented, feeding her a strawberry, his eyes darkening as her teeth grazed his thumb. "No more hot sex for you first thing in the morning."  
  
"It was hot, wasn't it?" She offered him a strawberry.  
  
"Yes, it was. You have an amazing mouth. Have I told you that?"  
  
"No, you didn't. But thank you. So do you." Both of them leaned forward at the same time, their lips colliding.  
  
"You know, at this rate, you are going to have to wheel me into work. I won't be able to walk. Hell, I won't be able to sit. I'll only be able to stand there and look good." She smiled cheekily at him.  
  
"And that would be different from any other night how? I'd give you the night off to recoup, but I can't be away from you that long," he told her, winking. "And no, I can't call in sick."  
  
"Spoilsport." She slid her legs over his and pulled herself closer to him. "Think of all the fun we could have," she whispered.  
  
"I do have a couch in my office, you know," he whispered back, kissing her, his lips moving gently over hers. "I don't know if it's ever been used for that."  
  
Catherine pushed herself away from him, scooting back to 'her' side of the tub. "What do you mean you don't know if it's been used for that?" She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "Was it so horrible that you can't remember, or you just don't want to tell me? And who was this woman?" She put her hands up as he tried to move toward her. She was trying to look stern, but couldn't stop the smile from spreading onto her face. "Stay on your side of the tub. And your answer better be good."  
  
"It is very good," Gil said, snagging her hand and pulling her to him. "I bought it used."  
  
"I knew that." At his smirk, she continued, "I did so. Well, maybe I didn't, but it doesn't matter anyway. I don't care what you did before yesterday." She grabbed a bath sponge, pouring liquid soap on it.  
  
"Since just yesterday?" Gil questioned. He held his hand out. "Here, let me do that." She handed him the sponge and sat back, picking up her champagne flute and refilling it.  
  
"Ok, for a long time I cared. I never analyzed just why I cared or really even acknowledged that I did care. What took us so long to get here?" She took a long swallow of the champagne. "I feel like we've wasted too much time." She drained her glass and refilled it. She let the warmth of the water and the effects of the champagne work its magic on her.  
  
"I don't know, Cath." Gil kept his attention her leg that he washing slowly washing. "Maybe we weren't ready before." He glanced up at her. "But we're ready now. Maybe that's the only thing that matters."  
  
"You are so right. You usually are." She took another long sip of champagne; she'd forgotten how much she liked it. She had also forgotten how quickly it affected her. "But you quote me and I'll deny it."  
  
"They'd never believe me anyway." Gil took a deep breath, he wanted to ask her something, but he wasn't sure how receptive she would be. "Do you have nightmares often? About our cases?" He felt her tense and then quickly relax and cursed himself.  
  
"Sometimes." She popped one eye open and looked at him. "Did I last night?" She stuck a finger in her champagne and sucked off the drops of liquid. At this point she was relaxed and not feeling any pain. A little too relaxed a part of her mind acknowledged.  
  
"Yeah. About the baby in the closet, you didn't wake up, but I was. . . wondering if you were ok. I don't think I ever asked you."  
  
"I'm fine. I'm just sorry for the boyfriend. He loved her and her son and it's sad that he can't get custody. That the baby has to stay with its relatives; at least they are willing to let him have visitation. And the father is in prison for murder." She looked at him, one tear slipping down her cheek. "He was going to marry her," she whispered. "And now, because of that bastard, the baby will never know his mother and what she did for him."  
  
Gil pulled her close to him, as close as he could. "Hey, it's ok. I'm glad you were the one to find him. As hard as it was on you, he needed someone to care for him and you did that, beautifully. I didn't even hear him crying." He leaned back slightly and kissed her softly. Knowing that the time had come for him to tell her of his impending deafness, he sat back. "I need to tell you something, Cath. Let's get out and go into the living room."  
  
She nodded at him and watched him rise, wrap a towel around his waist and step out of the tub. She rose to follow, but her limbs felt loose and weak, and she stumbled, the only thing saving her from a fall were Gil's arms.  
  
"Whoa. You ok?" He held her steady as she climbed out of the tub.  
  
Giggling, Catherine took the towel he held out to her. "Champagne and hot water. Probably not the best combination." She wrapped the towel around her body. "I'm fine." She walked into the bedroom, her legs feeling a bit steadier.  
  
"Well that's a first for me," Gil commented as he sat on the edge of the bed, watching her towel off.  
  
"What's a first?" Catherine slipped on a pair of red paid boxer shorts and a matching red tank top.  
  
"Having a woman throw herself at me. I can't say that I've ever had that experience before."  
  
"Have you ever had a woman tackle you and tickle you til you begged for mercy?" Catherine asked him cheekily.  
  
"Hmmm. Not since I was six."  
  
"Well, maybe you will later. I'm going to clean up the bathroom while you get dressed. Then you can tell me what's been on your mind for the last few months." She walked into the bathroom, leaving his sitting there, his mouth open.  
  
'How does she do that?' he thought as he retrieved his overnight bag that he'd dropped just inside the bedroom door this morning.  
  
He went to the kitchen and made some coffee while waiting on her to finish. Flicking on the power switch, he went into the living room, watching as she settled herself on the couch. He walked over to her slowly, trying to figure out how to phrase what he needed to tell her.  
  
"Ok, what's been on your mind? And I know it isn't our relationship." Catherine patted the sofa cushion next to her. "You've been. . ." she trailed off looking for the right word. "Distancing yourself for months. And not just from me." Her voice was soft, soothing.  
  
Gil sat next to her, took a deep breath and to his surprise the words tumbled out before he could stop them. "I have otosclerosis. I'm losing my hearing."  
  
Catherine's eyes widened for a moment, the pieces falling into place. His behavior at the trial, his distancing himself from the cases and his team, the way he didn't seem to be aware of those around him at times. It all rushed back to her, along with what he had revealed to her about his mother.  
  
"Your mother. It's hereditary." She took his hand in hers, needing to touch him and sensing his need to be touched. "How long?"  
  
He looked at her, seeing the moisture in her eyes. "How long until it goes or how long have I known?"  
  
"Either one. Both."  
  
"I went to the doctor last May. I knew something was wrong; sounds would fade out. A car almost hit me, because I didn't hear it coming. As for how long until it's gone, well, they don't know for sure. Some days are good; some days I lose seconds of hearing. Sometimes it happens several times a day, other times I go days without having any episodes. I never know."  
  
She took a deep breath and kept her voice soft. "Gil, I understand your need for privacy, but with something like this. . ." she gestured with her free hand. "This is something that we needed to know. You're afraid this will affect your work, that's why you've kept it to yourself."  
  
"It will affect my work, Cath," Gil exclaimed, frustrated. "It already has. I didn't hear that baby, you did. What if you hadn't been there? What would have happened to him then?"  
  
Catherine reached out and stroked his cheek, wiping away a tear. "It would have been ok, Gil. I know it would have been. Just pair us up. I'll be your ears for you. And then, when the time comes, we'll think of something else. Honey, we'll make it work. " She'd never seen him look so lost and alone before, and her heart broke for him. She leaned back, stretching her length along the sofa cushions, bringing him with her, his head resting on her chest. She stroked his back and whispered soft words of comfort to him. She couldn't imagine how difficult this was for him with his need to always be in control. Now he was losing control of the one of the most important senses he had; his hearing. She wanted to cry with him and for him, but she willed her tears to stop.  
  
They lay that way for a few minutes before Gil lifted his head and looked at her. He levered himself up and kissed her, lingering for a moment, his lips barely skimming hers. He pulled his head back and looked at her, his eyes gazing deeply into hers. They stayed that way for a few minutes, silently communicating with their eyes. He saw her love for him, her compassion, her understanding and her fierce protectiveness. Catherine saw his love for her and it was so overwhelming she had to gasp for breath. No one had ever looked at her with such emotion before, it humbled her and she felt incredibly unworthy of his love. She tried to look away, to hide from the intensity of his gaze, but he wouldn't let her, his hands holding her head immobile.  
  
He spoke softly, but with conviction, "Don't ever think that. Ever. I don't know who told you that, either your parents or Eddie or someone else entirely, but it's simply not true. It is a complete and utter fabrication."  
  
Catherine nodded, unable to speak. He was right about who told her those things. Her parents had, then Rick and followed by Eddie. The feelings of unworthiness had been with her as long as she could remember and most of the time she could hide them, pretend they weren't there, but now, under his penetrating stare, the feelings returned. Tears slipped out of her eyes and he wiped them gently away. She didn't want this moment to be about her and her insecurities. He needed her now, whether he would admit it or not.  
  
"Just let me hold you, Gil. I need to hold you as much as you need to be held."  
  
He nodded and laid his head on her chest, the sound and rhythm of her heartbeat comforting him better than anything he'd ever experienced before. Intertwining his fingers with hers, he stroked her fingers lightly, feeling more connected to her at this moment than when they had made love. He held his hand up, supported by his elbow and he stared at their joined hands. After a few moments he couldn't tell which fingers were his and which were hers and he realized that was how their lives were. They were amazingly in tune with each other; each knowing what the other was thinking without anything being said, they always had been, almost from their first meeting. He had simply touched her arm to point out a piece of evidence and had felt the jolt of electricity zing through him. He looked at her, startled, felt the connection between them as her eyes met his and knew, even though he wouldn't admit it until now, that it meant they were supposed to be together. He couldn't exist without her and he instinctively knew it was the same for her.  
  
His eye caught a familiar title and he shifted his gaze from their hands to the coffee table. He lifted his head and looked at her.  
  
"I didn't know you were a Hitchcock fan."  
  
Catherine quirked an eyebrow at him, confused.  
  
"Rear Window." He nodded toward the DVD sitting on her coffee table.  
  
Catherine looked over at the table. "Oh yeah, I picked that up a few days ago. Haven't had the chance to watch it yet."  
  
Gil sat up, pulling her with him. "Let's go make some food and watch it." He dropped a quick, hard kiss to her lips. "Come on."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	7. Friends and Lovers part b

Disclaimers: In the first part. I don't own them, yadda, yadda, yadda..  
  
AN: Ok this is chapter 6b. This is unbeta'd although Laeta did offer, bless her heart. But I think its fine on its own. Same rating as before. I can't think of anything else at the moment. Again read and review. I see my bribery worked. Do I have to hold part c? I didn't think so. Hopefully it'll be along shortly. I won't post the previously part, coz I just posted that earlier, but they were about to watch Rear Window. Enjoy.  
  
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"You still awake?" Gil asked as the ending credits flashed on the screen. He was lying on his side on the couch, his back to the cushions. Catherine was in his arms, her back to his chest, his leg thrown over hers.  
  
She shifted to her back, looking at him. "Wide awake," she stated. "And ready to play," she added with a mischievous smile.  
  
"You are, are you?" Gil trailed his fingers down her neck and chest, settling on her breast and stoking softly, feeling the nipple harden under his fingers.  
  
"Oh yes. I have an idea. Let's neck like teenagers at the drive-in." Catherine kissed his neck, moving to his jaw and tracing a line to his mouth with her tongue. She kissed him; small quick kisses, never lingering in one place for very long.  
  
"And the advantage of that would be?" Gil asked between kisses.  
  
"We don't have to worry about getting caught," Catherine stated logically. "And I won't slap you if you cop a feel. In fact, I'll slap you if you don't." She ran her tongue over his bottom lip, dipping inside when he parted his lips.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't want to disappoint you," he said, slipping his hand under her tank top and cupping her breast in his hand. He deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth slowly and thoroughly, his fingers teasing her nipple. He shifted and lowered his mouth to her breast, taking the nipple into his mouth and sucking. He pulled back and looked at the wetness on her tank top.  
  
"You need to get rid of this," he said, his voice low and husky, a sound that sent shivers up her spine. He ran his hands up her ribcage, pausing to tickle her.  
  
"Stop that!" she giggled, attempting to wriggle away from his fingers, but his legs over hers and his left arm pinning her to him made that impossible. She shrieked when Gil dug his fingers into her side, her laughter ringing throughout the house. She tried to pull her elbow down to protect herself, but he quickly grabbed her wrist, holding her arm over her head.  
  
Gil lowered his head, attempting to kiss her, but she was laughing and squirming too hard and his kiss landed on her cheek. "I thought you wanted to neck?"  
  
"I do," she managed between giggles. "But you have to stop first."  
  
"Your wish is my command. How's this?" He asked as he moved his hand back to her breast. "This is my favorite part anyway," He muttered.  
  
"Your favorite?" One eyebrow hit its zenith.  
  
"Well one of them anyway. I like all your parts. All 2000 of them." He grinned at her. He pulled her tank top up, exposing her breasts. Lowering his head, he ran his tongue around her nipple. He heard her sigh of pleasure as he took it into his mouth and sucked, gently at first then harder as she arched her back offering him more. He released her nipple with a small sound.  
  
"Don't stop," Catherine protested.  
  
"My back is getting a cramp. I'm too old to do this on the couch."  
  
Catherine looked at the cushions. "We could take the cushions off the back, they're removable." She smiled at him. "And you are not too old."  
  
"For what I have planned it is." He stood up and offered her his hand. "Come on." He pointed to her bedroom. "Go. Strip."  
  
"Would you like that to music?" Her grin was wicked. She stood slowly, making sure she brushed against his visible erection.  
  
He threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck and pulled her quickly to him. His kiss was hard and swift and he released her just as quickly. "Go," he ordered. "Before I change my mind and take you right here."  
  
"Is that a threat or a promise?" Catherine was enjoying herself. She'd always loved the quick wit that existed between them, but now since there was a new dimension to them, she loved it even more. She got a kick out of teasing people and he was a worthy opponent.  
  
"Stay and find out. But I guarantee you'll like what I have planned in the bedroom."  
  
"What is it?" Catherine asked eagerly.  
  
"I'm not tellin'. Just go." He pointed again to the bedroom.  
  
"Please?" Catherine pleaded, looking so much like Lindsey that he had to laugh. She sidled up to him, running her hands up his chest. "I'll be good," she promised.  
  
"You've already been good. Very good, in fact." He grabbed her hands as they dipped into the waistband of his shorts.  
  
"I'll be even better."  
  
"You can't improve on perfection, Cath."  
  
"Oooohh, smooth, Gil. Very smooth."  
  
"I try. Now will you just go?"  
  
"Alright! I'm going." Catherine turned around and headed to the bedroom. She stopped just inside the door, hiding behind it, slid her tank top off slowly and with one arm dropped it on the floor outside the bedroom. She peeked around the doorframe. 'Good, he's still watching,' she thought. "You coming?"  
  
"Not yet. But I will be and so will you," He quipped as he turned around and walked into the kitchen.  
  
Catherine chuckled, quickly shed the rest of her clothes and lay down on the bed, waiting.  
  
"Gil? What's taking so long? I'm getting lonely in here," she called a couple minutes later. She thought she heard the ding of the microwave, but she wasn't sure.  
  
"I'm on my way. Close your eyes and keep them closed."  
  
She did as she was told.  
  
"Are they closed?" he asked as he poked his head into the room.  
  
"They are."  
  
Gil walked over to the bed and set the bottle he was carrying on the bedside table. He quickly slid out of his clothes and sat next to her.  
  
"You ready?"  
  
She nodded and felt something warm and sticky drizzling onto her breast. "Chocolate," she murmured with a small smile.  
  
"You peeked," he accused her.  
  
"Every woman knows the smell of chocolate. Even if it is just Hershey's Syrup." Her breath caught in her throat as his tongue lapped at the chocolate covering her nipple, gently at first then harder. She moaned in protest when he lifted his head from her breast, but she didn't have to wait long as she felt the chocolate hit her stomach and down to her navel, and lower still. She opened her eyes and saw Gil watching her. She could taste the chocolate on his lips and his tongue when he kissed her. Catherine watched as he lowered his head to her chest right below her breasts and kissed, licked and sucked his way down her body. His tongue was incredibly erotic, yet loving, his hands caressing her bare flesh. Catherine's hands fell to his head, gently holding him to her, the small part of her brain that was functioning amazed at how he was managing to the desire within her into a raging inferno. By the time he reached her center, she was almost mad with desire.  
  
Catherine gasped and her body tensed when she felt his tongue run gently across her center, parting her folds and delving into her. The sweat popped out on her skin and she moaned from deep in her throat, her hips lifting to allow him better access. She was so close to the edge, but she wanted him inside of her when she came. She gently tugged at his hair.  
  
"Gil, please," she whimpered.  
  
He slowly, too slowly for her kissed his way back up her body.  
  
"Gil Grissom, if you're not inside me in 5 seconds, I'll." Catherine threatened.  
  
Gil settled himself between her thighs, running the tip of his erection over her sensitive skin.  
  
"You'll do what?" He asked as he continued his teasing.  
  
"I'll.I'll scream," she managed.  
  
"But, Cath, you've already done that," he quipped as he slid into her.  
  
Catherine sighed, a lusty sound from deep in her throat and wrapped her legs high around his hips. "Make me scream again."  
  
"As you wish." He pulled back and thrust into her, slowly pulling back and then thrusting deep.  
  
Catherine met his thrust with her own, scraping her nails along his back, pulling his head to hers. She kissed him, her tongue mimicking the thrusting of their hips. Sweat was running down her neck and her body was tensing, her orgasm close. She clenched her muscles rhythmically, desperately wanting him to climax with her.  
  
"God, Cath," Gil managed. Her movements were driving him insane with desire and he felt his orgasm building. He increased his thrusts and emptied himself into her with a groan as she gasped out his name, her back arching as her climax washed over her.  
  
Gil pressed his forehead to hers, his breathing rapid and irregular. "God you are amazing, Catherine."  
  
"I am?"  
  
"Absolutely amazing. But I think I'm going to need clearance from my doctor if we keep this up." He rolled to his back, and Catherine snuggled into his side.  
  
"I think you'll be okay." She was quiet for a moment, trying to get her breathing under control. "Then again, we both might need clearances from our doctors."  
  
"Catherine?" Gil asked, running his hand up and down her back.  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Wear your hair curly tonight like you did that night." He tugged at her hair.  
  
Catherine was confused and levered herself up on one elbow. "What night?"  
  
He looked at her, his gaze intense. "The night I saw you out with him. The night I realized that I was in love with you."  
  
"You did? That night? Where? At the restaurant?" Catherine sat up, her brow furrowed in concentration. "I didn't see you." At his look, she realized how it must have hurt him to see her out with Horatio and to know she was so intent of her 'date' that she missed him. The truth was that she did have a good time; Horatio was a charming man and it was nice to get out. She'd missed that. She'd needed that. But still, there was something missing, and now she knew what that something was, or rather who. The more Catherine thought about it, the worse she felt. Gil had said he was a 'ghost' in school and obviously had some insecurities about that time in his life. Hell, they all did and some of them never went away. And she knew instinctively that Gil thought Horatio was everything he was not. She had told him before that he had no people skills and he had no 'personal stuff'. She could see how it would hurt to see her with someone else; someone whom he thought had more to offer than he did. 'Why didn't he see that he had so much to offer just as he was?' she thought.  
  
She looked over her shoulder to him. "You showed much more restraint than I would have."  
  
"Really? How so?" Gil asked, sitting up behind her and pulling her back against his chest.  
  
"Well, if it had been you sitting there with another woman and I'd just had that realization, I would have ripped her hair out by the roots." Cath angled her head and kissed his jaw.  
  
Gil chuckled. "And they say men are the more violent of the species."  
  
"Just don't get between me and my man." She grinned sheepishly.  
  
"I never pegged you for the jealous type." He smiled at her.  
  
Catherine shrugged one shoulder and replied nonchalantly. "I'm not the jealous type, I'm territorial, Gil. There's a difference."  
  
"And that would be?"  
  
"I trust you completely. I just don't want anyone else near you." Catherine quit trying to explain the inner workings of the female mind and changed the subject. "I'm sorry you had to see that." She tilted her head and looked at him. "I want you to know that nothing happened. We had dinner; he took me home and walked me to the door. That's it."  
  
"Catherine, this is none of my business. You don't owe me an explanation."  
  
Catherine moved around so she faced him. "If this," she waved her hand between them, "hadn't happened, it wouldn't be any of your business. Or if it had been a long time ago, I wouldn't tell you. But this is recent and I want you to know that there was never anything there. He's a nice man and I had fun, but that was it." She leaned forward and kissed him, not surprised at all when he deepened the kiss, branding her with his mouth. She knew he needed the reassurance. She pulled back a bit and smiled at him, the smile that made his knees weak and his heart stop for a few beats. "This time Mr. Grissom, you get the girl."  
  
"One request, Cath." At her quirked eyebrow, he continued. "Wear that dress for me. Please? How long was that dress anyway? I didn't get a good look at it." He kissed her again.  
  
She placed her hand over his and moved it down her body, stopping at mid- thigh. "About here," she answered against his mouth.  
  
"Wow!" he answered as she straddled his waist, her knees by his chest.  
  
Sitting up, she brushed the hair back from her face. "So are you going to make reservations? Get the same table?"  
  
He ran his hands over the flare of her hips, and up her abdomen, cupping her breasts in his palms, his fingers caressing her nipples. "Nope," he answered vaguely, watching her nipples harden.  
  
She covered his hands with her own, encouraging him to continue. "No?"  
  
He looked up at her and grinned broadly. "I just want to take you out of that dress, that's all."  
  
"I think that can be arranged." She leaned forward, putting her hands on the mattress on either side of him, bracing herself. "You want the whole nine yards? Stockings, thong, strappy stilettos?"  
  
"Uh, yeah," Gil gulped. "What about the bra?"  
  
"I didn't wear one."  
  
"Well, then, that settles it. We definitely can't go to dinner. I'd never be able to keep my eyes or my hands off of your.assets."  
  
"That could prove to be interesting." She met his mouth with hers and they kissed, long, slow deep kisses that continued for several minutes.  
  
Gil flipped her onto her back and buried his face in her neck. He stayed that way for a while, enjoying the feel of her arms around him, her fingers trailing along his spine, her legs entwined with his.  
  
"Are you asleep?" Catherine asked him a few minutes later.  
  
He shook his head. "No," he murmured against her neck. "Just thinking."  
  
She knew he could think in silence for hours if left undisturbed so she prompted him. "About what?"  
  
Levering himself on his elbows, he confessed. "About us."  
  
Catherine knew where he was going, but she wanted to hear him say it. Some things just needed to be spoken. "What about us?"  
  
'Damn her,' he thought. 'She's going to make me say it.' He took a deep breath. "Where are we going to go from here? I mean we can't go back."  
  
Catherine smiled gently. "No, we definitely can't go back. Where do you want to go from here? What do you want?" She knew what she wanted, she wanted forever. The forever she naively thought was going to get with Eddie. Now, she knew what it was like to love and be loved in return. And she knew she wouldn't let go of this love, no matter what happened in the future, she was in it for the long haul. That was how she was.  
  
"I want forever," Gil said, echoing her thoughts. He was rewarded with a beautiful smile from her and to his surprise she started giggling.  
  
"Gee, Gil, does this mean I'm your girlfriend now?"  
  
Gil chuckled, "Aren't we a little old for that boyfriend girlfriend stuff?"  
  
"We are. Lovers?" Catherine offered. "Friends?"  
  
He nodded and then shocked the hell out of her, not an easy task. "Husband and wife?"  
  
Her mouth dropped open and she stammered. "Are you saying."  
  
Gil interrupted her. "I'm just saying that maybe we should think about it. I don't want to be alone anymore. I want.I want 'personal stuff'. I'm tired of going home to my 'hermetically sealed condo'. What do you think?"  
  
"Wow. I'm speechless." Catherine looked at him carefully. "You mean skip the getting to know each other. Do not pass go; do not collect 200 dollars, just go straight to marriage? Gil, are you sure we know each other well enough for that?"  
  
"Catherine, we've known each other for over 15 years. I think we know each other well enough."  
  
Catherine was suddenly, inexplicably nervous and when she was nervous she rambled. "Yeah, but you don't know my living habits. What if I look like a troll in the morning, I might scare you. Maybe I snore in my sleep. I don't always pick up my clothes; sometimes I just throw them on the floor. And sometimes Lindsey and I eat McDonalds for three days in a row, because I'm too tired to cook. And I hate putting laundry away. I let it pile up until I can't stand it anymore."  
  
Gil laughed and covered her mouth with his fingers, effectively silencing her. "First of all, you could never look like a troll. It's impossible and I don't scare easily. I don't care if you snore. We can get those strips things I've seen advertised on tv. I like McDonalds and I'll put the laundry away." He paused a moment. "I'm not saying let's run out tomorrow and get married at The Little Chapel of Love complete with a singing Elvis. You asked where I wanted to go with this and I'm telling you. I want this," he waved his hand between them, "forever. Think you can handle that?"  
  
Catherine was silent for a moment. He'd shocked her and even scared her a little. She loved him and now she couldn't and wouldn't live without him. But marriage? She'd failed so miserably with Eddie, and part of her was afraid to try again. But this was Gil, not Eddie. She gazed into his blue eyes, eyes so full of love and promise and her heart overrode her mind and she answered him.  
  
"Yes, I think I can. No. I know I can." She kissed him thoroughly and asked, "When?"  
  
"Well there are steps to this. First, don't you think you need to talk to Lindsey?"  
  
"Oh yeah. I guess I should. She'll be thrilled. She loves you to death you know."  
  
"Did you forget about her?"  
  
Catherine smiled sheepishly. "Well, I have been a bit distracted." She kissed him again and wrapped her legs around his hips. "I don't want to talk about Lindsey. I don't want to talk at all. Make love to me."  
  
"I think I can manage that."  
  
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tbc..next part: work. Hmmmm. What kind of trouble can these two get into? Maybe they'll be good, maybe not. It's not written yet. *winks* 


	8. Friends and Lovers part c

Disclaimers: The usual, I don't own them. I don't want to own anyone, too much responsibility  
  
AN: Thank you to Angie for beta-ing and all the IM conversations we had, her encouraging me to continue, even when I wanted to quit. This chapter is for you. Laeta, Allie-wan, Young Luke, Manda, Juliet and Nic and all the others who have been asking after this chapter, Thank you so much for your encouragement. It means so much to me. And all the reviews. I love them, thank you so much. So here is the last part of Ch 6. Enjoy. Same rating as before for.well, you'll see. ;)  
  
Previously in TGATT Ch 6: But this was Gil, not Eddie. She gazed into his blue eyes, eyes so full of love and promise and her heart overrode her mind and she answered him.  
  
"Yes, I think I can. No. I know I can." She kissed him thoroughly and asked, "When?"  
  
"Well there are steps to this. First, don't you think you need to talk to Lindsey?"  
  
"Oh yeah. I guess I should. She'll be thrilled. She loves you to death you know."  
  
"Did you forget about her?"  
  
Catherine smiled sheepishly. "Well, I have been a bit distracted." She kissed him again and wrapped her legs around his hips. "I don't want to talk about Lindsey. I don't want to talk at all. Make love to me."  
  
"I think I can manage that."  
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Two hours later, Catherine stood outside the open door of Gil's Tahoe. "You sure we have to take separate cars?"  
  
"It would work out better. That way if I have to stay late you can come home. No use making you wait on me."  
  
"Well, lets hope for a slow night then." She leaned forward and kissed him, molding her upper body to his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on. When he pulled back, gasping for air, she said softly, her voice wistful, "I don't want to go to work. Can't we please just stay here?"  
  
"I know," Gil answered, running his hands down her back. "But we need to go and besides, your neighbor is watching." He nodded to the lady watching them, unashamedly, from across the yard.  
  
Catherine looked over her shoulder to her neighbor, waved and turned back to Gil a mischievous smile on her face. "Wanna give her a show?"  
  
"I think we already did." He grinned at her. "Lets roll." He gave her a quick kiss and playfully pushed her away, reaching for the door handle.  
  
Catherine backed away and let him shut the door. She stood there until he rolled down the window. "You gonna follow me?" She asked.  
  
"Yeah, I like watching your ass," he replied and watched her smile grow wider at his words. "It is a great ass. Very nice." 'Where is this coming from?' he wondered. 'I've never said anything like that to any woman. But I've never been in love before either.'  
  
Catherine giggled and made a show of turning around and sashaying to her car parked in the garage.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Catherine pulled into a parking spot at CSI, hopped out of her car and stood waiting for Gil. She watched as he walked over to her and her breathing sped up at his intense look.  
  
"What?" she asked him.  
  
"Stop that," he commanded.  
  
Catherine was confused. "Stop what?"  
  
"Stop standing there looking so kissable. And quit tilting your head like you want to be kissed."  
  
Catherine flushed when she realized that she was indeed tilting her head for a kiss. She straightened her head and replied, "But I do want to be kissed. It's all your fault anyway."  
  
"Why is it my fault?"  
  
"Because you are so damned good at it."  
  
Gil was about to give her what she wanted when a voice interrupted them.  
  
"Hey, you two," Brass said, ambling toward them.  
  
Catherine and Gil sighed and replied in unison. "Hey Jim."  
  
Jim Brass looked at Catherine and then at Gil. There was something different about both of them, but he couldn't quite place it. "Did you get your hair cut, Gil?" He finally asked. "There's something different about you."  
  
Catherine hid her smile behind her hand as she listened to Gil reply. "No, I didn't."  
  
"Well you look good. Refreshed. Must have been your day off. Whatever it was, you need more of it." He shrugged his shoulders. "By the way, is your pager not working? We tried to get a hold of you last night, but you never returned your page or the calls. I've got some papers for you to sign. Stop by my office."  
  
Gil nodded and waited until Jim walked off, and then turned to Catherine. "You were loving that weren't you?"  
  
Catherine just gazed at him, all blue eyes and innocence.  
  
Gil snorted and grabbed her arm. "Come on, I'm not going through this alone."  
  
Catherine laughed as he led her to the building. He dropped her arm as they reached the doors. She missed the contact immediately. 'Here goes nothing,' she thought. She knew it showed in her face, that she was in love and probably even that she'd had great sex, but she really wasn't ready for the entire crew to know about them. Not yet. She wanted to be cocooned in their new relationship for a while. Just the two of them, and Lindsey. She wanted to revel in it, bask in it before going public. And she knew he felt the same way. She schooled her features and walked into the building.  
  
"Hey Cath, Gris," Warrick greeted them as they passed the locker room. He looked Catherine up and down and whistled. "Lookin' good." It was his usual banter with her, but now it took on a whole new meaning. She felt Gil tense slightly and suppressed the urge to roll her eyes.  
  
"Thanks, War. You too." 'That's it, Cath. Keep it light.'  
  
They continued their trek down the hall, only to be stopped by Greg outside the lab.  
  
"Grissom, I have some results for you to take a look at." Greg looked at Cath, his eyes widened. "Cath, you look.wow!" At Gil's scowl, he faltered. "I mean you always look good, but today." he fanned himself. "Totally hot."  
  
Catherine laughed and to Greg's delighted shock, leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Greggo."  
  
Gil's scowl deepened and he took the papers from Greg's hand. "I'll look at these in my office." He turned to Catherine. "Can I talk to you in my office?"  
  
Catherine nodded and waved to Greg. They hadn't gotten ten feet before Sara walked up to them.  
  
"Gris, Cath," She quickly greeted them and turned to Gil. "Did Catherine get a hold of you this morning? I paged you last night, several times, but you never answered. Got this murder at the Belagio and." Sara trailed off as she looked at Catherine. "Did you go to a spa, Cath?"  
  
Catherine shook her head and answered. "Nope. Why?"  
  
"You look really good. I mean your skin; it's glowing. What did you do?" Sara peered closer at her. "Whatever you did, I need to do it too. You look amazing."  
  
Gil covered his bark of laughter with a cough. Both Catherine and Sara turned to him.  
  
"You okay, Gris?"  
  
"I'm fine." He smiled at Sara. "I've got to talk to Catherine for a few minutes. I'll see you later."  
  
"Okay." Sara looked at the two of them, shook her head and ambled off.  
  
"Come on," Catherine growled. "This is getting embarrassing."  
  
"You didn't mind it when Greg told you that you were 'hot'," Gil chuckled. They finally reached his office and he unlocked the door, letting her precede him.  
  
"That was before the image of you and Sara popped into my head."  
  
"Now you know how I felt when Greg drooled all over you. Can you say pedophilia?" He shut the door and walked over to her. "I'm not interested, I never was."  
  
"Yes, and I can also say Mrs. Robinson." She felt her forehead. "Do I have a sign on my forehead that says 'Gil banged my brains out this weekend'? I mean sheesh."  
  
"Banged?" Gil's eyebrow rose.  
  
"Screwed?" she offered as his hands slid around her waist. "No? How about Gil gave me the best sex of my life?" She tilted her head and offered her lips to him.  
  
He took her offer and kissed her, pulling her close to him. After a few minutes he stepped away from her. "Okay, time to work. I've got to hand out assignments." He turned her to the door. "Scoot. We both have jobs to do. I believe yours is to stand there and look good. Which you do so well that I'd hate to keep you from it."  
  
"Are you trying to flatter me?"  
  
"'Do or do not, there is no try'," Gil quoted, walking her to the door.  
  
"Yes, Master Yoda. I'm going now. I'll be in the lounge if you need me." Catherine walked out and headed toward the break room. She was unaware of the way Gil watched her.  
  
But someone did. And that person couldn't hide his grin. 'This is gonna be so much fun,' He thought.  
  
Catherine was in the lounge, scrounging in the refrigerator, looking for some creamer when she spotted a familiar brown bottle. 'Hmmm, this is interesting.' She grinned widely. 'Wonder who's this is?' Chuckling to herself, she pulled out the bottle of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup. Satisfied that it was indeed the real McCoy and not one of Grissom's experiments, she reached for a small container of milk.  
  
She smiled at Nick, who was just sitting at the table, as she went to grab a spoon and glass from the cabinet. She sat down in her usual spot, nonchalantly pouring milk into the glass, waiting for the perfect moment.  
  
She smiled at Sara, as the younger woman sat next to her, and looked up to see Gil following Warrick into the room. 'Three. . . two. . .one,' she counted to herself. Just as Gil sat across from her and began telling Warrick and Sara about the db at the Excalibur, she poured some syrup into the milk. She heard him falter, clear his throat, and then continue.  
  
"Nick, you and Catherine have the smash and grab at a jewelry store downtown, complete with dead security guard."  
  
'Oooohh, I bet he did that on purpose,' Catherine thought to herself, dreading working with Nick, knowing how he was going to razz her. 'That boy is too observant for his own good.'  
  
"Since when have you liked chocolate syrup, Cath?" Warrick asked, momentarily distracted.  
  
Catherine licked some chocolate from her finger. "Oh, I've recently developed a taste for the stuff," she replied airily, licking at some more chocolate. Only then did she glance at Grissom. The look on his face was priceless; he couldn't take his eyes off of her mouth.  
  
'She is going to regret this,' Gil thought, his groin tightening as he remembered how the chocolate syrup had tasted on her skin. Keeping his face neutral, he handed the folder to her, not releasing it immediately when she grabbed it.  
  
To Catherine, the temperature in the normally cool room rose twenty degrees when she looked into his blue eyes, and she felt the back of her neck starting to sweat. 'Oh, he's really gonna get me for this,' she thought, aroused and nervous at the idea.  
  
"Are you going to give it to me or what?" She prayed her voice sounded normal and in control, not breathless like she felt.  
  
'You bet your cute ass I'm going to give it to you,' Gil thought. But what he said was. "Yeah, sure. Here you go." He let go of the folder.  
  
The three other CSI's in the room looked from Catherine to Grissom then at each other. Nicky ducked his head to hide his grin, while Warrick and Sara just looked at each other, trying to figure out the undercurrents running between their boss and his 'boss' as they sometimes referred to Catherine. She seemed to get what she wanted from him with very little effort.  
  
Catherine stood and said to Nick. "Let's go." She walked out of the room without a backward glance, but she could feel Gil's eyes on her. "I get to drive," she said to Nick, snatching the keys out of his hand.  
  
"Yes Ma'am," he responded in his Texas drawl.  
  
He waited until they were on their way to the crime scene before broaching the subject. "So how was your night off?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Nothing unusual happened?" Nick looked out the window and watched the town roll by.  
  
"Nope." Catherine was going to keep her answers to one or two words, revealing nothing, hoping he'd just give up.  
  
Nick was silent for a while. Then ventured, "Well you look. . .relaxed. Whatever you did, it must have been. . .fun."  
  
Catherine mentally groaned. Nicky was just a big kid and a tease. She pulled to a stop in front of the jewelry store. She turned to Nick. "I always have fun on my days off, Nicky." She jumped out of the Tahoe and went around to the back, grabbing her kit.  
  
Nick laughed and followed her. She was tough; he'd give her that. She wasn't going to break easily. But he was confident he would eventually get a reaction from her. 'Probably a smack across the jaw if I'm not careful,' he thought.  
  
"You want to print?" he asked her, taking out his own kit.  
  
"No, I want to snap."  
  
They processed the scene in relative silence for a while, each doing their respective jobs with ease.  
  
"So, Catherine, how come you suddenly started liking Hershey's Chocolate Syrup?"  
  
To Catherine's dismay, her face turned bright red and she glared at Nick. Finally deciding to play his game, she turned back to the glass case that used to house some very expensive diamond necklaces.  
  
"Oh," she began, keeping her voice light. "Since this morning when Gil slathered me with it and licked it off." She looked him square in the eye, "Did I ever tell you how talented he is with his mouth? And, oh that thing he does with his tongue." She closed her eyes and smiled, sighing for effect. "Amazing. It really was. And the orgasms. My God, who would have thought that he could go for so. . ."  
  
"Catherine!" Nick interrupted, his face full of horror. "Stop! I really didn't need or want the details."  
  
"I didn't think so. If you can't run with the big dogs, Nicky, stay on the porch."  
  
"I'll remember that."  
  
"See that you do," Catherine replied. "And Nick, don't say anything. When the time is right, we will tell you. Until then."  
  
"I'll keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't have said anything anyway. I just couldn't resist. Now I wish I had." He shuddered. "The mental image." He smiled at her. "I'm happy for you though. It's about damned time." He watched the smile spread across her face. It was the smile of a woman deeply in love.  
  
"Come on, we have to get this done. I don't want to be here all night." Catherine turned back to the display case. "Yeah, I'm sure there's some chocolate syrup waiting for you," Nick said. He just couldn't resist one last dig.  
  
"Nicky, do me a favor?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Shutting up now."  
  
Three hours later, Catherine was coming back from dropping off the bullet they'd found lodged in the security guard's chest with Bobby. He'd said he'd page her when he got it cleaned up and matched. Who knew when that would be, but knowing Bobby, it would be fairly quick.  
  
She went back to the layout room and busied herself with some evidence her and Nick had gathered. Hearing the door open, she looked up to see Gil standing just inside the doorway, watching her.  
  
"Hey, come take a look at this. I've got this weird piece of glass that doesn't match any one. . ." she trailed off as she realized he wasn't looking at the evidence, but rather staring at her, not saying anything.  
  
"What?" Suddenly she was nervous. Nervous and inexplicably aroused. 'Why is he looking at me like that?' Her breathing became shallow and her heart rate rapid; she could feel her pulse pounding in her throat.  
  
He just looked at her, focusing on her like a predator would his prey. He took a step to her and Catherine, mesmerized by the look in his eye took a step back. As he slowly advanced, Catherine retreated until her back was flush against the wall. Still he advanced, one small step after the other. She wasn't afraid of him; she knew he'd never hurt her, but there was an animalistic look in his eyes, one she'd never seen before and it made her knees weak and her body tremble.  
  
Gil stopped inches from her, placed his hands on the wall beside her head and slowly leaned to her. She instinctively turned her head to the right and she felt his hot breath skim her ear. Her body shivered in reaction and her nipples hardened to taut peaks. Their bodies were millimeters from each other and she could feel the heat emanating from him, but he still didn't touch her. He nuzzled at her ear, not actually touching her, his breath hot and sweet against her ear. Just when she thought she couldn't take another second of the tension without going insane, his tongue snaked out and traced the outer shell of her ear. Catherine felt the sudden rush of moisture pool between her legs and she had to bite her lower lip to keep from crying out.  
  
Gil backed up a step and studied her flushed face, her blue eyes dark with passion, her trembling body and he smiled in satisfaction and male pride. Leaning forward, he traced her jaw with his mouth. When she turned her head, desperate to feel his lips on hers, he quickly moved his mouth to her ear. "Payback is a bitch, Babe," he whispered. He grinned at her, turned and left the room, leaving her staring after him.  
  
Catherine stared after him, her chest heaving for air and pressed shaky hands to her forehead. 'What the hell did he do to me?' She sagged against the wall, trying to regulate her breathing.  
  
"Catherine?"  
  
Catherine looked up to see Warrick standing in front of her. 'How long have I been standing here?' she wondered.  
  
"Are you okay? You don't look so good. You're shaking." Warrick pulled a chair over to her and pressed her into it. "Let me get you some water."  
  
He was back in a flash and handed her a cup. She accepted it and sipped at it. Part of her wanted to laugh hysterically. She was touched that Warrick was concerned for her, but what would he think if he knew the reason for her shakiness was that Gil had brought her to orgasm with barely a touch. Her body still craved his touch and for a moment she had been ready to forget where they were, forget everything but the feel of his body against hers, filling her physically and emotionally. Never had she felt so loved, so desired. Sex with Eddie had been great, she would admit that, but it wasn't a drop in the bucket compared to making love with Gil. He touched her in a way that no one ever had, and she knew if it ended today she would never want or love another.  
  
"What's wrong, Cath?" Warrick squatted in front of her. "You still look flushed."  
  
"Uh. . ." Catherine thought quickly. "My blood sugar must have dropped. I haven't eaten tonight."  
  
Warrick stood and offered her his hand, pulling her to her feet. "Let's get you something to eat."  
  
Catherine nodded and allowed him to lead her to the lounge, already thinking of how she could get 'back' at Gil.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Catherine stood inside her house, waiting for Gil. He said he'd be about a half an hour behind her, that he had some paperwork to do and to go ahead and go home, he'd meet her there. She heard his Tahoe drive up and when she heard the key in the lock, she pulled open the door.  
  
Gil's mouth dropped open in shock. Catherine stood before him in a tiny scrap of material that was hard-pressed to hold her breasts, a minuscule triangle of sheer black that revealed almost more than it concealed and a pair of impossibly high, incredibly sexy stiletto heels. His body instantly reacted to the barely clothed vision in front of him; the blood rushed from his brain to his groin, and he was sure he couldn't tell her the entomology of the common housefly or even his middle name.  
  
Catherine slid one arm up the doorframe, while her other hand reached for his belt buckle. "I thought you would never get here," she purred, pulling him inside and shutting the door. She slowly circled him, trailing her fingertips around his neck, smiling as he shivered from the slight contact.  
  
"Take off your jacket," she commanded, running her fingers up his chest, sliding her hands under his coat over his shoulders.  
  
Shrugging out of his coat, Gil tried to answer, but couldn't find his voice. He never was the kind of man who went to strip clubs and got a thrill from seeing barely clothed women dancing around a pole and he never needed to have magazines of naked women around to fulfill some adolescent fantasy. But now, seeing Catherine standing in front of him, all he could think of was tearing off what little clothes she had on and taking her where she stood. Breathing deeply through his nose, he looked her body up and down, resting his gaze on the long line of her legs. She had the most incredible legs and he remembered the way they had wrapped themselves around him, her milky-white thighs holding him tightly to her as he thrust into her again and again. He shuddered again as she stepped closer to him, brushing her fingers lightly across his erection. He wanted to touch her, but knew that he would explode with passion when he did and he was enjoying this little game.  
  
He felt the ping in his gut when she pressed her mouth to his ear, her voice low and husky. "Wanna get rocked?" She unbuttoned his shirt, slowly; one at a time, making sure she only touched him with her fingertips, if at all.  
  
Gil cleared his throat. "Payback, Cath?" he asked her finally finding his voice. He turned his head as she walked to his back, tugging the shirt down his arms, dropping it to the floor. He groaned as she pressed herself to his back, her arms wrapping themselves around his waist, her hands making quick work of the fly to his pants. Her mouth was hot as she pressed kisses down his spine, her tongue dipping under the waistband of his boxers as she pushed down his pants.  
  
"Do you know how much I want you?" she whispered. She lightly licked his shoulder as she walked around him. This time she kept touching him, her mouth doing erotic things to his arms and chest as her fingers grasped the legs of his boxers.  
  
Gil watched, fascinated as she tugged his boxers to his ankles. He could see with the erotic movement of her body just why she was so popular as a dancer. He watched the play of the muscles in her thighs as she raised herself back up to him.  
  
"Do you know how wet I am for you? I've been thinking about you all night. Especially after your little. . . trick in the layout room. Very nice." She slid one long finger under her right bra strap, pushing it off her shoulder and down her arm. She followed with the left, her eyes never leaving his, mesmerized by the same look that he had earlier. She reached around and released the hook, the bra slide down her arms and she let it drop from her fingertips. She mentally sighed with relief; the bra was uncomfortable as hell. 'But,' she reminded herself, 'in the game of seduction, looks are in, comfort is out.' She hooked her fingers under the tiny straps holding up her g-string and slid them over her thighs and down her legs, watching his reaction. She could see the sweat glistening on his body and every muscle was tight as he fought for control.  
  
"Do you wanna know how wet I am?" She stepped closer to him. Taking his hand in hers she placed his on her center. She turned her face to his. "Kiss me, Gil."  
  
His body shuddered with desire as his fingers slid into her easily. He kissed her then, devouring her mouth with his, his tongue thrusting, matching the movement of his fingers. They were only a few feet from the couch, but Gil couldn't wait any longer to be inside of her. He was more aroused than he had ever been and he needed her now. He lowered her to the floor, holding her to him with one arm. He slid his other arm under her right knee, bringing her leg up high and thrust deep into her.  
  
Catherine gasped in pleasure as he filled her completely, his thrusts hard and fast, just the way she wanted it. She clenched her jaw to keep her teeth from clanking together under the force of his thrusts and held him tightly to her. She couldn't move fast enough, couldn't keep up with him as he pounded into her. His mouth fused to her breast, and the suction he created was driving her mad with desire. She could feel the orgasm building in her, rushing through her veins like a tidal wave, her muscles winding into one giant knot. Catherine couldn't breathe, couldn't think and she kept her eyes on his face as she felt him explode inside her. Her world turned black as her orgasm slammed through her.  
  
"Catherine?"  
  
Catherine's eyes opened slowly and she tried to focus on Gil's concerned face. She blinked once, then twice.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
She nodded. "I think I forgot to breathe," she managed.  
  
"You forgot to breathe?" Gil was incredulous. Then he started laughing. He tried not to, but he couldn't help it.  
  
"Don't you laugh at me, Gil Grissom! This is embarrassing!" She could feel her face turning red.  
  
"I'm sorry, Cath, but it is funny. Admit it."  
  
"It is not funny! This has NEVER happened to me before." She glared at him. "And stop looking so smug!" She slapped at his shoulder. "This is all your fault anyway."  
  
Gil tried to school his features, but the smug, prideful grin remained. "Why is it my fault?"  
  
"Because if you hadn't started this at work, and if you hadn't felt so incredibly good and did that with your mouth, this would have never happened."  
  
"Buildup?" he asked her.  
  
"Major buildup," she answered, shifting underneath him.  
  
"Is the floor to hard?" At her nod, he moved off of her. "Here, lets go in the bedroom." He stood and offered her his hand.  
  
Catherine just looked up at him, her face turning even redder. "I can't."  
  
"What do you mean, you can't?"  
  
Catherine sighed. "I mean my legs are too weak. That and these damned shoes. I won't even try to stand in them."  
  
This time Gil really howled, holding his sides as he doubled over with laughter.  
  
"Shut up, Gil!" She tried to glare, but her lips twitched. It really was funny, in a completely embarrassing way. She rolled over and pushed herself to her knees. "Will you shush with the laughing and help me?"  
  
He took a moment to control the laughter and then picked her up. "I can see life with you is going to be very interesting."  
  
"You could be a little more supportive, you know." Catherine complained.  
  
"I am. I'm supporting you to the bedroom." He quipped, heading down the hall.  
  
Catherine rolled her eyes. "Ha ha. Don't quit your night job, Gil. You'd never make it as a comedian."  
  
"Hey, I'll have you know that a lot of people laugh at my jokes," Gil said.  
  
"It's called polite laughter, Gil. Would you like me to demonstrate?"  
  
"Just for that," Gil started and then in a sudden move tossed her onto the bed. "Someone needs a spanking," he threatened her.  
  
"Promises, promises."  
  
"Funny. Now get your naked ass under those covers."  
  
Catherine grinned at him. "Why is it only my ass gets invited anywhere? Besides, my shoes are still on."  
  
Gil chuckled. "Do you want me to take them off?"  
  
"I thought you'd never ask." She held one leg out to him, watching as he slid the shoe off of her foot and placed it on the floor.  
  
"I love these shoes. I think we need to have them bronzed." Gil was in full sarcastic mode, something he didn't let many people see. He was so private and Catherine loved that she was the privileged one to see glimpses of the inner Gil.  
  
"But if we did, I couldn't wear them again. I do believe you would be disappointed if that happened," she stated logically. She wiggled her toes in ecstasy when he took off the other shoe. "Do you have any idea how uncomfortable those are?"  
  
"I can imagine." Gil climbed onto the bed. "Now scoot over. I'm tired and I need my beauty sleep."  
  
She obeyed and snuggled into his side when he wrapped his arms around her. She yawned, huge and loud.  
  
"Tired?" Gil chuckled.  
  
"Yes, I am. I'm not used to all this activity. I've had more sex in two days than I've had in the last two years. Congratulations, you've actually managed to wear me out."  
  
"Should I take out a full page ad in the paper?"  
  
"You should. It'd make headlines everywhere." She yawned again and let her eyes slide closed. His whispered, 'I love you' was the last thing she heard.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Catherine," a soft voice whispered in her ear.  
  
"Hmmm." She felt a hand caress her back.  
  
"Time to get up."  
  
"Don't wanna," she muttered. She shifted positions and wriggled deeper under the down comforter.  
  
"Come on, it's almost 3:30. Time to get up."  
  
"No," she stated and pulled the comforter over her head. "And you can't make me." Her voice was muffled and Gil smiled, this was the game of a little girl.  
  
"Can you even breathe?" He watched as the lump shook from side to side. "Well we can't have that, can we?" He walked to the end of the bed and in one quick move, pulled the comforter off of the bed; leaving Catherine curled around a pillow, completely naked and shocked.  
  
"Gil Grissom!" She shrieked. "Give me that back! It's freezing in here!" She sat up and glared at him.  
  
"I noticed," he replied, his gaze resting on her hardened nipples.  
  
Catherine grabbed a pillow and held it over her chest. She narrowed her eyes at him. "You are evil and you must be punished."  
  
"And you are beautiful and must be ravished. But, alas, I don't have time. Will you take a rain check?"  
  
"Don't try to get on my good side, I no longer have one." She harrumphed. She waited a minute for him to hand her the comforter and then decided to change tactics. "Gil?" she whined. "I'm cold. Please give that back to me." When he continued to stand there, she tossed the pillow aside and crawled over to him. "Please? You wouldn't want me to catch a cold, would you?" She rose to her knees in front of him, her fingers running over his bare chest. He'd obviously showered but only had his pants on.  
  
"No, I wouldn't."  
  
"So then give it back to me," she cajoled.  
  
He continued as if she hadn't spoken. "Because then I'd have to listen to you whine." He watched in amusement as her mouth dropped open and she looked like she was trying to decide whether to scream or hit him. "And I'd much rather listen to you sigh with pleasure."  
  
She glared at him and snatched the comforter from him. "That won't be happening now." She curled up on the bed, smiling happily as she covered herself up.  
  
"Catherine. You need to get up. Lindsey'll be here soon."  
  
She kept her eyes closed and ignored him.  
  
"Cath?" Gil sat on the bed and leaned over her. "Are you mad at me?" He reached out and ran his hand down her cheek. "Don't be mad. I was just teasing."  
  
Catherine sat up, but wouldn't look at him. She traced the pattern of the sheets with her index finger.  
  
"Cath, I'm sorry," Gil began, and then stopped suddenly as she threw herself at him, knocking him backwards onto the bed.  
  
She threw one leg over him and straddled his waist, leaning over him, her breasts brushing his chest. "Gotcha," she said and smiled triumphantly.  
  
"No," he replied, turning her onto her back and pinning her arms down. "I've got you." His mouth crashed down onto hers. After a few minutes he released her arms and sat up. "I need to go."  
  
"No." Catherine crawled into his lap. "I'm not ready for you to go yet." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Stay here for a while longer." Pressing her lips to his, she muttered, "Stay forever."  
  
"I'd love to, but I know you don't want Lindsey to find us like this." He kissed her again. "I'll go and when she gets here, you two can discuss this and if it's okay with her, I'll stay forever."  
  
Catherine gazed at him, her eyes misty. "What have I done to deserve you?"  
  
"I think it should be me who asks 'what have I done to deserve you'." Gil kissed her again, his mouth moving gently over hers, his reluctance to leave obvious.  
  
"I really need to go." He kissed her again, deeply, exploring her mouth. He threaded his fingers through her hair, pulling her closer. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I really, really need to go."  
  
"Then stop kissing me," Catherine giggled.  
  
"Stop kissing me back." His mouth moved to hers again.  
  
"Never happen." She kissed him one more time and reluctantly slid off his lap. He was right, she didn't walk Lindsey walking in and finding her mother sitting naked in his lap. It wasn't an image her young daughter needed to see. "Let me put on a robe and I'll walk you to the door."  
  
"No. I want to close my eyes and see you sitting here, your hair wild and curly, your lips swollen from my kisses, passion in your eyes." His blue eyes twinkled. "Naked and waiting for me. This is how I want to see you." He stood up and put on his shirt and then slipped into his shoes, forgoing the socks. He leaned over, kissed her again and straightened. "I'll see you at work." He turned and walked out.  
  
Catherine sat, staring after him until she heard the front door close. Sighing, she climbed out of bed, and headed for the shower. One lone tear slipped down her cheek. She missed him already.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
tbc..folks. Stay tuned. No more sex, at least for a while. Eddie is featured heavily in these next parts. This was conceived and written long before LHB and I didn't want to change it. The ride is about to get bumpy so hang on. And some of it won't be fun or happy. What? You didn't think I was going to write fluff for the rest of it, did you? Anyway, hopefully the next one will be up soon. Sadness is coming, but hopefully some of it will be beautiful sadness. 


	9. Nightmares Really Do Come True

Disclaimers: "Say, say, oh playmate, come out and play with me. And bring your dollies three, climb up my apple tree, slide down my rain barrel, into the cellar door and we'll be jolly friends forever more, more! Shut the door!!" Sorry couldn't resist! It was a nice change, admit it!! ;)  
  
AN: Okay, Eddie is in this one. Sorry. In my world he's not dead yet. A huge thank-you to Angie for beta-ing and to Allie and Juliet as well as Angie for the help in writing part of this. I think that's all folks.  
Previously in TGATT: "No. I want to close my eyes and see you sitting here, your hair wild and curly, your lips swollen from my kisses, passion in your eyes." His blue eyes twinkled. "Naked and waiting for me. This is how I want to see you." He stood up and put on his shirt and then slipped into his shoes, forgoing the socks. He leaned over, kissed her again and straightened. "I'll see you at work." He turned and walked out.  
  
Catherine sat, staring after him until she heard the front door close. Sighing, she climbed out of bed, and headed for the shower. One lone tear slipped down her cheek. She missed him already.  
  
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Catherine was pacing her living room; Eddie was late, very late. He had said he'd have Lindsey back by four and it was now 6:15. It wasn't like him to be this late bringing their daughter back. For all his faults, he was pretty responsible when it came to Lindsey. She had to leave by 6:45 or she was going to be late for work. Occasionally he would be late, but not this late. Something was very wrong. She'd tried Eddie's cell and kept getting a message saying that the number was not a valid number. She had also tried his house only to get another message saying the number was disconnected. Unable to handle waiting any longer, she threw her cordless phone on the couch, grabbed her purse and after making sure her cell phone battery was charged and it was on, she stormed out of the house.  
  
Driving as fast as she dared, Catherine arrived at his house in minutes. She squealed to a stop in the driveway and jumped out of the car, running to the front door. She pounded on the door, and after receiving no response; she leaned on the doorbell, trying the doorknob at the same time. It opened easily and she felt the dread rise up in her stomach, her mouth suddenly dry.  
  
Stepping into the house, she cautiously looked around the living room. Eddie lived in a small rental and she could see the living room, kitchen and part of the hallway from just inside the door. It was empty. And looked as though it had been vacated in a great hurry. Things were lying everywhere, the kind of stuff you left if you didn't want it any longer or didn't care about getting your deposit back. Fear rising in her, she quickly made her way to the bedrooms. They, too, were empty. Understanding dawned on her and she backed out of the room that had been Lindsey's when she stayed with Eddie, shaking her head in disbelief.  
  
Catherine whirled around when she heard a keening wail and it took her a moment to realize it was coming from her. Lindsey was gone. And Eddie had taken her. 'She's gone, she's gone,' her mind kept repeating and Catherine bolted for the bathroom. Dropping to her knees she vomited into the toilet. Gripping the counter she pulled herself up, and rinsed her mouth. She looked into the mirror and didn't recognize the face that stared back at her. Dimly, she heard the ringing of her cell phone and fumbled for her purse she'd dropped in the bathroom doorway.  
  
"Eddie?" Her voice sounded strange, empty to her.  
  
Gil's voice came over the receiver. "Cath, I'm gonna be late. Warrick's car wouldn't start so I'm giving him a ride." Pulling up to the curb in front of Warrick's apartment, he waved at him as he saw him sprint down the stairs. "Let everyone know I'll be there soon."  
  
"I'm not. . .I'm not there." Her voice was emotionless. She walked back into the living room, dazed.  
  
"Where are you?" Gil realized that something was very wrong; he'd never heard her sound like that before. "Cath? What's wrong?"  
  
"Ah. . .E. . .Eddie's." Suddenly the emotions hit her full force and she began sobbing, her body shaking. She fell to her knees. "Oh God! They're gone! They're gone!"  
  
"Catherine! Tell me what happened." All he could hear was her harsh sobbing and gasping breaths. Warrick had climbed into the car and looked at him strangely, trying to figure out what happening.  
  
"I'm on my way now." His stomach tightened as he listened to her cry. "Baby, I'm on my way right now, stay there. Do you hear me? Stay there!" He tossed the phone to Warrick and jerked the wheel to the right, tires squealing around a tight corner.  
  
Warrick held on with one hand and put the phone to his ear. He could hear Catherine crying and spoke to her, his voice calm, trying to reassure her although he didn't know what was going on. "Cath, we're on our way. Hang on, okay? We'll be there in just a minute." He continued to speak to her, his voice low and reassuring as Gil tore through the streets of Las Vegas.  
  
Gil jerked to a halt in front of Eddie's rental. He jumped out of the Tahoe and ran up to the door, Warrick on his heels. His heart dropped to his stomach at the sight before him. Catherine was kneeling in the middle of the living room floor, her cell phone in one hand and a tattered stuffed rabbit clutched tightly in the other. The small bungalow echoed with her sobs.  
  
He had to call her name a few times before she heard him and he knew if he lived to be a hundred, he would never forget the lost, haunted look in her eyes when she finally turned her head to him. He stepped over to her and knelt down, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Catherine?"  
  
She launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his neck, the tears wetting the collar of his shirt. "They're gone," she sobbed. "He. . .took her. . .and . . .they're gone."  
  
Behind him, he heard Warrick speaking softly on the phone and satisfied that he was talking to the police, Gil turned his attention back to Catherine. "I know, baby, I know," he murmured in her ear, softly stroking her hair. Tears welled up in his eyes; he loved Lindsey like she was his own, he always had. Rage, unlike any he'd ever felt before, threatened to overtake him, but he tamped it down. Catherine needed him; she was going to need them all and his emotions would have to take a backseat right now. But Gil would have his day with Eddie, of that he was sure.  
  
Warrick walked up behind them and placing a hand on Catherine's back, spoke softly to Gil. "The police are on their way. Nick and Sara are taking care of things at the lab." He didn't know what else to say. They all loved Lindsey and loved it when she came to visit them. Even Sara, who swore she wasn't good with children brightened when Lindsey was there. He knew of her not-so-secret candy stash she kept strictly for such visits.  
  
Gil untangled Cath's arms from his neck and stood, gently helping her to her feet. He led her to the Tahoe and helped her settle into the back seat. Her crying had eased to the occasional shudder and hiccoughing. He stood there, rubbing her back and arms, waiting for the police to arrive.  
  
"We're gonna find them, Cath. I promise you. I will find them." He bent down and looked into her eyes. Holding her gaze with his, he vowed, "I will find them." She nodded once and looked down at her lap. He noticed she was still clutching the rabbit in her hand, stroking its head with the other. He'd seen Lindsey with the stuffed animal on numerous occasions and he knew it was special to the little girl.  
  
He looked up at the sound of a car in the driveway and watched two officers step out of a plain blue car. Nodding to them as they approached, he took Catherine's hand tightly in his.  
  
"Grissom," the man said holding out his hand.  
  
"Marks." Gil took the proffered hand, shaking it quickly, before reaching for Catherine again.  
  
Officer Ted Marks looked to Catherine. He'd seen her around the building numerous times, and had noticed her right away. Every man in the LVPD had. And from rumors he'd heard most rookies had tried to get a date with her, only to be rejected. He couldn't blame them. If he weren't married, he'd have tried too. She was beautiful, smart and funny. One couldn't help but be attracted to her. 'Attracted?' he thought. 'Half of the guys fancied themselves in love with her.' As he watched her grasp tightly to Grissom's hand, he wondered just what their relationship was. He mentally shrugged, that wasn't why he was here. Then again, depending on her relationship with her ex, Gil Grissom's relationship with Catherine could very important.  
  
"Ms Willows," he said. He nodded to his partner, Stacy Mains, indicating for her to question Catherine.  
  
Stacy walked over to Catherine, squatting down in front of her. She hated these calls. She'd only been out on two kidnapping calls and they still gave her nightmares. Being a CSI, Stacy was sure that Catherine had cases that haunted her too. Off duty, Stacy immersed herself in her two small children, but she knew Catherine didn't have that luxury now; her daughter was missing. "Ms. Willows?" She waited until Catherine looked at her before continuing. "I need you to tell me what happened. When did you know she was missing?"  
  
Catherine shuddered when she heard the word 'missing'. Taking a deep breath, she started to speak, her voice faltering. "I. . .uh. . .Eddie had her this weekend and he was supposed to.um," she trailed off; it was too hard for her to speak the words. Tears slipped slowly down her cheeks, unheeded. "Bring her back by four. He didn't show up and I tried calling his cell and here and both numbers wouldn't work. I came here and the house. . .the house. . .empty. She's gone."  
  
"When was the last time you saw them?" Stacy knew this was hard for Catherine. It was hard for her to listen to it. She thought of her own children, safe at home with their father. But she had to get the information and quickly. Time was of the essence in these cases.  
  
"Friday, about four. He picked her up, just like normal. Nothing out of the ordinary." Catherine's voice was getting stronger. "He said he'd bring her back today. He said. . .He promised he'd take good care of her." She stopped suddenly, her head jerking up, eyes wide. "He promised me. He looked me straight in the eye and lied to me. The bastard was never going to bring her back!" The tears ran down her cheeks in torrents, splashing onto her bare arms. "She's been gone since Friday then." She hugged the rabbit closer to her and looked quickly to Grissom, and then down to her lap. "The whole time, we. . ."she trailed off. "She was gone."  
  
Gil squeezed her hand tighter and looked up at the evening sky, his eyes filling with tears. He tried not to feel guilty, Eddie had obviously had this planned for a while and if he and Catherine hadn't been together he still would have taken her. But he knew the feelings of guilt weren't going to go away easily, if ever.  
  
Ted noticed her quick look to Grissom and faltered words; he knew there was more than she was telling. Obviously it was not something she was ready to talk about. "Grissom," he called softly. "I need to talk to you for a minute." He walked back to his car. He waited until Grissom was standing next to him. "What is her relationship with her ex like?"  
  
Gil sighed; he hated talking about his own personal matters, let alone Catherine's. "Not good. They don't get a long at all." He remembered the time Eddie had come to the headquarters and Gil had to stop Eddie from hitting her.  
  
"She has full custody?"  
  
"Yes. Eddie had visitation. Catherine is. . .was pretty open about that."  
  
"Would he ever hurt Lindsey? Has he, to your knowledge ever hurt her?"  
  
"No, he hasn't and I don't think that he would. He's always been good with her."  
  
Something in Grissom's voice prompted him to ask. "Has he ever hurt Ms. Willows?"  
  
Gil looked down at his feet. He hated these questions. Funny how it seemed so innocent when he was doing the questioning. Now he was uncomfortable and wanted to take Catherine home so the police could find Lindsey. But he knew this was important and any information that he could give them could make their job easier.  
  
"He used to hit her. And he cheated on her. That's why she eventually divorced him."  
  
"You knew about this?"  
  
"Yes, and I knew about the affair. I didn't tell her and it almost ruined our relationship."  
  
Marks speared Gil with a look. "You know I have to ask this as much as I don't want to, right?"  
  
Gil nodded. Four hours ago they had been talking about their future with Lindsey and now she was gone. How was Catherine ever going to recover from this? How was he? Where did they go from here?  
  
"What exactly is your relationship with Ms. Willows?"  
  
"Catherine. Ted, you know her, please use her name."  
  
"Sorry Gil. What is your relationship with Catherine?"  
  
Deciding to hedge, Gil replied. "We're close friends."  
  
"How close?" Ted hated having to delve into a co-worker's private life, but any information, no matter how small it was, could help.  
  
"We're friends, Marks. What else do you need to know?" Gil was frustrated. His private life was his own and nobody's business. He felt Catherine take his hand.  
  
"We have to tell them, Gil." She looked into his eyes, pleading with him to understand. After he nodded, she turned to Ted.  
  
"Eddie always accused me of having an affair with Gil. But nothing ever happened. Until Friday. Eddie came to pick up Lindsey and after he left, Gil came over and, well. . ." she trailed off, leaving Marks to fill in the rest. "He was insanely jealous of my friendship with Gil. It was what most of our fights were about. My job and my relationship with Gil. He couldn't stand not being the center of my world, that I might have interests that didn't involve him."  
  
"Did he give you any indication that he was planning on taking her? Did he say anything?"  
  
"At the time, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I did get this feeling that maybe he had been drinking, but his eyes were clear, he smelled and acted sober. If I would have just followed that first gut instinct and kept Lindsey with me. . ." Catherine blinked back tears.  
  
Stacy walked up to them in time to hear Catherine's last words. "They just put out an APB on his car. And they're checking flights out of McCarran. Hopefully we'll know soon if he's taken her out of the state." Catherine visibly paled at Stacy's words and stumbled against Gil. "Take her out of Nevada? Why would he do that? I'll never find her!" The implication hit her and she turned to Gil. "That's what he wants. How could I have been so stupid? He never wants me to find her." The tears fell again and Gil pulled her to him.  
  
"Are we done here?" He asked. "I need to take her home." He wanted to berate the young officer for upsetting Catherine, but he knew that Catherine needed to know the truth. No matter how hard it was for her to hear.  
  
Marks looked over the information that Catherine had given Stacy. He nodded to Gil. "Take her home. We've got her phone number and we will be in touch."  
  
Gil led the still crying Catherine to his Tahoe and not caring if anyone was watching, he kissed her on the cheek. He settled her into the passenger seat, buckled her in and shut the door. He turned to Warrick who had been quietly standing just off to the side.  
  
"I'm going to drop you off at the lab. We need someone to process his house. They have Eddie's photo on file from his rape charges and Catherine gave them the missing children packet she carries with her." He remembered her updating it just before she went to Miami.  
  
"We'll take care of it, Gris." Warrick looked to Catherine. "You just take care of her."  
  
Gil nodded, walked around to the driver's side and climbed in. After dropping off Warrick, he turned the Tahoe towards Catherine's, wondering how she was going to deal with going home to an empty house; a house that was supposed to be filled with the sounds of a 10-year-old girl.  
Stay tuned for more angst and tension. I'm thinking of making each chapter a new day or a coupla days if one day is too short. Next in TGATT: continuation of this first night. Do they find Eddie? Has he left the country, the state? How does Cath handle all of this? What about her relationship with Gil? Will it suffer? Or will they grow closer as the search for Lindsey continues? Stay tuned; this and more coming in future chapters of To Give and To Take. 


	10. Living the Nightmare

Disclaimers: Can be found anywhere and are a dime a dozen  
  
AN: Thanks to Angie for beta-ing this. It's been forever since I've written on this. This chapter was hard for me to write and I had to take a break from the sadness, but the sadness brought you LATTG and Baby Andrew, so I guess it's all good. Please read and review.  
  
Previously in TGATT:  
  
Gil led the still crying Catherine to his Tahoe and not caring if anyone was watching, he kissed her on the cheek. He settled her into the passenger seat, buckled her in and shut the door. He turned to Warrick who had been quietly standing just off to the side.  
  
"I'm going to drop you off at the lab. We need someone to process his house. They have Eddie's photo on file from his rape charges and Catherine gave them the missing children packet she carries with her." He remembered her updating it just before she went to Miami.  
  
"We'll take care of it, Gris." Warrick looked to Catherine. "You just take care of her."  
  
Gil nodded, walked around to the driver's side and climbed in. After dropping off Warrick, he turned the Tahoe towards Catherine's, wondering how she was going to deal with going home to an empty house; a house that was supposed to be filled with the sounds of a 10-year-old girl.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Silence. Normally, silence didn't bother Gil. He was used to it; he understood silence and silence understood him. He could spend hours with no sound, just his thoughts. But this silence, this was driving him crazy.  
  
Catherine had stopped crying on the way to drop off Warrick. Since then; nothing. The only thing he'd heard was the sound of her vomiting in the bathroom once they had gotten back to her place. He sat on the floor in the hallway, waiting for her to emerge from the bathroom. Once she did, she'd stared at him for a long moment, then walked to Lindsey's room and lay on the bed, curling herself around the rabbit she'd gotten at Eddie's. Pushing himself up, he'd followed her, sinking again to the floor next to the bed, taking one of her hands in his.  
  
Two hours later they were still in the same positions. He was on the floor holding her hand, and Catherine was staring at the far wall, her blue eyes usually so full of life, were completely empty. If he couldn't see the occasional rise and fall of her chest, he would have thought she wasn't breathing. How anyone could be so still, astounded him. He knew that she was in shock; her mind unable to cope with Lindsey's disappearance, so she had simply retreated, locking herself away. Somewhere that he couldn't reach, and that fact terrified him. This was not the Catherine he knew. The Catherine he knew would have been yelling or crying or even throwing something. He'd tried to get a reaction out of her earlier. He'd rambled on about nothing and anything, but she didn't even look at him. He wondered if she even heard him. Finally, he fell silent also, but remained where he was. If the situation hadn't been so tragic, he would have laughed. He was the quiet one, not her.  
  
She blinked as he reached out and stroked her hair, but didn't speak, didn't move, didn't even sigh. Just continued with her silence and her staring. Unable to handle sitting and doing nothing any longer, Gil leaned over and kissed her cheek.  
  
"If you need me, I'll be in the kitchen. I have to make some calls." Gil watched her; nothing. Again, he wondered if she heard him.  
  
He made his way to the kitchen and pulled out his cell phone. He found her sister's number on the board next to the refrigerator and dialed the numbers.  
  
"Nancy? This is Gil Grissom. I'm a friend of. . ." he trailed off and listened. "She has? That bad, huh?" He smiled in spite of himself. "Not good actually. I don't know how to say this delicately, so I'll just say it." Gil took a deep breath and continued. "Eddie has taken Lindsey and left. We have no idea where they're at. . ." He listened to Nancy's gasp of disbelief. "Not good. She won't say anything. She won't even cry now. She just. . ." Gil blinked against the tears. "She just lays there and stares. I'm afraid for her. Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes." Gil disconnected the call. Hopefully her sister could help her; he couldn't seem to.  
  
Twenty minutes later, he opened the door to her sister. She resembled Catherine; they had the same face shape, the same mouth, but Nancy's hair was a vibrant red, the color of the leaves in the fall and her eyes were a lighter shade of blue. He stepped aside to let her enter.  
  
"Any change?" She asked him, taking off her jacket and tossed it onto the chair.  
  
"No." He noticed her red-rimmed eyes and the lines bracketing her mouth.  
  
Nancy heaved a huge sigh and sat down on the couch. "She's really gone? Tell me what happened."  
  
Gil sat next to her and told her what he knew. "I know she feels guilty, I could see it in her eyes. Hell, I feel guilty too. But Eddie had this planned for a while. Nothing we did or didn't do could have changed it. I've never seen her like this before. Not even when Eddie would hit her. I know this is worse than anything he's ever done before, but I expected her to cry and scream; I was prepared for that. With this," he gestured to the bedroom, "I don't know what do to." Just why he felt so comfortable with Nancy, he couldn't say. But he did and Nancy needed to know just what she was dealing with.  
  
"I was wondering when the two of you were going to do something about the attraction between you. I'm just sorry it happened at the same time that fucker took off with my niece. And you're right; it isn't your fault. That belongs to Eddie." She wiped away the tears in her eyes. "I've seen her like this before. Dreamer, shortened from Dream Weaver, had been her horse since she was five; they basically grew up together and he was her first real horse, not a pony. She loved him to pieces and you could tell he felt the same. Some people say animals can't love, but one look at how Dreamer acted around her and you knew that they could and did love." She stopped for a moment; a far away look in her eyes and then shook herself. "Anyway, she had taken him out for a run and she didn't see the hole. Dreamer caught it and snapped his front leg. Daddy said that he would never walk again and he had to be put down and he said that he would do it. But Catherine refused; she took the rifle from him and went out to the barn. Daddy and I followed her and she. . .well she did it. She stood there for a moment, then turned and handed me the rifle. Her eyes were empty, no emotion whatsoever. She was like that for the rest of the night. Wouldn't eat, wouldn't speak, she just lay on her bed and stared at the wall. Momma and Daddy tried everything to get her to eat or to talk; they promised her all sorts of things, she never gave any indication that she heard them. I think she went to a place where her and Dreamer were safe and happy. Then sometime the next morning, she got up and went about trying to put Dreamer behind her. She never spoke to me about it, but I knew she felt that it was her fault." Nancy wiped the tears away. "She was 13 and I don't think she's ever gotten over him." Nancy stood and to his complete shock, gently kissed his forehead. "She'll come back. When she feels its safe, she'll come back."  
  
Gil watched her walk away and marveled at her strength of character. Looks weren't the only thing the Roberts' sisters had in common. He got up and went to make a pot of coffee and called Warrick to check on things. Unfortunately, there wasn't much they could do but wait. Waiting is what he did. He followed the evidence and waited for what it had to tell him. He was a patient man, but he had never been touched personally before. He wanted Lindsey back now. Not just for Lindsey's sake but for Catherine's as well. Lindsey was her life, her reason for getting off the coke, her reason to leave Eddie and believe that there was life outside of an abusive marriage. And now that reason had been taken from her. What would be her reason for living if, God forbid, they didn't find Lindsey? That terrified Gil. The thought that he might lose Catherine just when he really found her, left him shaking.  
  
Gil blinked. How long had he been standing and staring at the coffee maker? He wearily rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. He reached for a mug and poured some coffee into it. He walked down the hall and knocked softly on Lindsey's door. He waited a second and then opened it.  
  
"I thought you might want some coffee." Gil shook his head and smiled ruefully. "I don't even know if you drink coffee."  
  
"I do and thank you," Nancy said, taking the offered cup. She turned to Catherine. "Kitty-cat? Do you want some coffee?" Her voice was soothing, as if she were talking to a frightened child. "It's okay to come out, Kitty- cat. It's okay. It's safe now."  
  
Catherine blinked and slowly turned her head to her sister.  
  
"Hey, Honey, what are you doing?" Nancy asked her, her voice soft.  
  
The voice that came from Catherine wasn't hers, it couldn't be. There was no life to it, no inflection, nothing but emptiness. "I'm waiting for Lindsey to come home."  
  
Gil and Nancy looked at each other, each too stunned to utter a syllable. Nancy turned back to Catherine.  
  
"Okay," she said slowly. "We're waiting for her too. Gil and I are. How about you come out into the living room and wait with us?"  
  
"I'll wait here. Lindsey changes her clothes as soon as she comes home from school." With that, Catherine returned to staring at the wall.  
  
Gil walked over to Catherine and kissed her cheek softly. "Come back, Cath," he whispered in her ear. "I love you." He straightened and turning, walked from the bedroom.  
  
Nancy found him a few minutes later out on the back patio, slumped on a deck chair, staring out into the yard. She silently walked over to a chair next to him and dropped into it, emotionally exhausted.  
  
"Tell me they're going to find Lindsey." She said softly. "Tell me they're going to find her and that bastard Eddie will pay for what he's done and is doing to my sister."  
  
"We'll find her and he will pay," Gil vowed.  
  
"You gonna beat the shit outta him?"  
  
For some reason that question struck Gil as funny and he laughed. "Well, if I just beat the shit out of him, he can file assault charges. Now if he happens to trip and repeatedly bash his face on the pavement, that will be his own clumsiness."  
  
Nancy giggled at the mental image and at the sound of her laughter, so like Catherine's, made Gil's stomach clench and he sobered quickly.  
  
"You sound just like her," he said.  
  
"It's a family trait," Nancy sighed. "I always knew that Eddie was a loose cannon and I always knew he had hurt her, not just with his fists or infidelity, but I never, not once, think that he would take her daughter away. Even when he filed for sole custody, I didn't think he would sink to these depths."  
  
Gil looked at her. "He filed for custody?"  
  
Nancy returned his look. "She didn't tell you?" She watched as he shook his head. "A couple years ago. She was served papers. I'm surprised you didn't know, she was served at work."  
  
"She never said anything."  
  
"I'm actually a little surprised that she didn't. She was terrified. I think he knew that he wouldn't get custody of Lindsey, but did it only to hurt her." Nancy shook her head. "Fucking son of a bitch. I hope he rots in hell."  
  
"Amen to that." Gil looked out at the darkened back yard. He couldn't see much; the porch light only illuminated a few feet beyond the patio. At a soft sound behind him, he turned to see Catherine standing just outside the glass doors, rabbit still clutched in one hand. He held her gaze as she walked over to him, noting with some relief that the emptiness was gone. But it had been replaced by that haunted, wounded look and he wanted to cry with her and for her. Yet, he knew he had to be strong for her; she needed him right now. So he swallowed his tears and accepted her sleight weight as she sat on his lap.  
  
Catherine looked into Gil's eyes, taking his face in her hands. "She's gone." It was neither a question nor a statement.  
  
Gil nodded but didn't say anything. He watched, broken-hearted as her lower lip quivered and tears filled her eyes. She lay her head on his shoulder and let the tears flow.  
  
Nancy got up and walked over to her sister, taking one hand in hers. She winced under the pressure of Catherine's tight grip, but continued to hold her hand.  
  
Nancy and Gil didn't say anything; there was nothing they could say. The stayed as they were, Gil holding Catherine and Nancy holding her had, listening to Catherine's sobs, unaware of the answering tears rolling down their cheeks.  
  
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tbc.Where is Lindsey? Will they find her? 


	11. The Nightmare Continues

Disclaimers: I don't own them, don't wanna, just wanna play with them a bit. So sue me if you must.  
  
AN: Not much. Can't think of anything. This is for all of you that have asked me and encouraged me for more. Hope you enjoy.  
  
Previously in TGATT:  
  
Catherine looked into Gil's eyes, taking his face in her hands. "She's gone." It was neither a question nor a statement.  
  
Gil nodded but didn't say anything. He watched, broken-hearted as her lower lip quivered and tears filled her eyes. She lay her head on his shoulder and let the tears flow.  
  
Nancy got up and walked over to her sister, taking one hand in hers. She winced under the pressure of Catherine's tight grip, but continued to hold her hand.  
  
Nancy and Gil didn't say anything; there was nothing they could say. The stayed as they were; Gil holding Catherine and Nancy holding her hand, listening to Catherine's sobs, unaware of the answering tears rolling down their cheeks.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
'Two days,' Gil thought as he rattled the empty coffee can and peered bleary-eyed into it. It had been two days since Lindsey had disappeared. 'Well, more than that,' he corrected himself. The FBI had shown up Monday afternoon to tell them that a man matching Eddie's description was spotted at McCarran and he was with a little girl about Lindsey's age, but they weren't sure of the identity. Apparently Eddie was covering his tracks well. They were attempting to track down where he went. He had made reservations on three different airlines; one to Los Angeles, one to Miami and one to JFK in New York. From any one of those, he could go anywhere. Even out of the country. They had spent a sleepless night with Catherine dozing off only to wake up a few minutes later crying for Lindsey. Gil tried to comfort her; murmuring soft words into her ear, stroking her back, letting her cry out her sorrow. He knew there was nothing he could say that would make her feel better, but he wanted to let her know he was there for her.  
  
He hadn't left her side since Sunday night; he was very worried about her. She was either crying or staring silently into space. He knew her emotions were expected and perfectly natural, but they worried him all the same. She wasn't sleeping and she wasn't eating. She was thin enough before and now her clothes were starting to hang on her frame. She couldn't afford to lose any more weight, but he couldn't get her to eat. Whenever he tried to coax her to eat, she would turn empty eyes to him and tell him she wasn't hungry. She wasn't pushing him away, but she didn't seem to 'see' him either. She let him hold her, and she clung to him at night, but other than that, he wondered if she even knew he was there.  
  
"That's not fair," he said softly. He was tired, so damn tired. They both were; they needed sleep, even if was only for a few hours. But she didn't sleep and he couldn't sleep for worrying about her not sleeping. Something had to give and it had to give soon. They couldn't continue like this. He heard sounds of banging and set the coffee can on the counter with a sigh.  
  
"Cath?" Gil followed the sounds of drawers being open and slammed shut. He found her in Lindsey's room, rifling through her drawers. He watched as she spun around and headed for the closet, throwing the doors open and reaching inside.  
  
Catherine pulled out some shirts of Lindsey's, holding them to her face and then throwing them on the floor in disgust.  
  
"Catherine! What are you doing?" Gil walked into the room cautiously.  
  
"I can't smell her." Her voice was on the edge of hysteria.  
  
"I don't understand." Gil was seriously worried about her. She was emotionally on edge, teetering, ready to fall at any moment.  
  
"I can't smell her,"" Catherine sobbed the words out, her breath coming in gasps. "Her scent, it's gone." She gestured to the ever-present stuffed rabbit on the floor. "It doesn't smell anymore and I. . .I thought that her clothes would smell. But they don't." She looked at him then, her blues eyes so incredibly sad, so lost, the tears flowing in rivers down her face. "She's gone. She's really gone."  
  
Gil didn't know what to say. In truth he was confused. He loved Lindsey, but she wasn't his and he could only imagine what Catherine was going through. He opened his mouth to say something but she kept talking.  
  
"Her shampoo, I can't smell it. It was all over that damned bunny. Now she's really gone!" She choked and then coughed. "She's gone."  
  
The pieces clicked into place for Gil. As long as she could smell Lindsey's shampoo, she wasn't really gone in Catherine's mind. He walked over to her and pulled her shaking, sobbing form close to him. He didn't say anything; there wasn't anything he could say. After a few moments he led her from Lindsey's room to her bedroom and helped her settle on the bed.  
  
Catherine lay down, curled herself into a ball and he covered her with a blanket. Glad she didn't fight him this time, he sat stroking her back until her eyes closed and while he wasn't sure if she was really asleep, at least she was resting.  
  
He stood up and wearily walked back to Lindsey's room. After spending a few minutes picking up the clothes, he grabbed some of her shirts, the rabbit off the floor and went into Lindsey's bathroom. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and started. His eyes were sunken, he had dark circles under them and the sclera red from lack of sleep and he looked older than his 46 years. He sighed and turned to the bathtub. Spotting the shampoo, he reached over and picked it up. As he made his way to the kitchen, he looked at the grandfather clock in the living room; half past eight.  
  
"Not even nine and I'm exhausted," he said to the room. He flipped on the kitchen light and went to the sink, turning on the water and letting it warm up. His shoulders slumped and his chin dropped to his chest as he stared at the water running down the drain. He didn't know how long he stood there staring at the water, but at the sound of a light knocking he straightened, wiped at his eyes and went to answer the door.  
  
"Sara."  
  
"Hey, sorry to bother you, but I have some papers for you to look over." Sara looked uncomfortable, almost afraid.  
  
"It's okay." He opened the door wider. "Come in."  
  
Sara nodded and followed Gil to the kitchen. She looked around and finally asked, "Where do you want these?"  
  
Gil looked confused for a moment, and then pointed to the counter. "You can just set them right there. I'll get to them later." He turned back to the sink and after putting the stopper in the drain; he dumped some shampoo into the running water.  
  
"Gris? What are you doing?" Sara asked softly.  
  
"Catherine says she can't smell Lindsey's shampoo anymore. Not on the rabbit or her clothes."  
  
"Here, let me help."  
  
He turned to see Sara standing next to him. He tried to smile, but failed. "She's sleeping right now, so I'm hoping I can get these done and dried before she wakes up."  
  
Sara fought back tears. She always knew that Gil was a nice man, a caring man, but this was a part of him she'd never seen before. He looked exhausted, yet instead of trying to sleep, he was focused on meeting Catherine's needs. "You can't put all those shirts in at once. They're different colors, with this hot water the colors will bleed."  
  
Together they stood at the sink washing Lindsey's shirts and the rabbit, not saying anything. She reached for the rabbit and wrung it out, then rolled it tightly in a towel, squeezing at the same time. She looked up to see Gil watching her and she shrugged her shoulders. "I had a bear when I was little. Helps get a little more water out, so it dries faster."  
  
"What the hell are you doing?"  
  
Gil and Sara jumped at the sound of Catherine's angry voice. Gil sighed and turned to her. "I was just washing some of Lindsey's things in her shampoo. Sara was helping." He felt guilty and he didn't know why.  
  
Catherine walked over to Sara and snatched the rabbit out of her hands. "You've ruined it," she accused.  
  
"Cath, we were just trying to help. Honest," Sara said softly, soothingly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it." Sara knew the rabbit wasn't ruined and she also knew that Catherine wasn't really mad at them. She looked exhausted, even more so than Grissom did. Sara was afraid that Catherine wasn't going to make it through this ordeal emotionally intact.  
  
Catherine looked from Gil to Sara and then to the rabbit in her hands. Suddenly her shoulders slumped and she said softly. "I'm sorry. I'm just so. . ." She looked at them for a moment. "I'm tired." She held the rabbit to her face and inhaled the scent of lavender shampoo. "Thank you," she managed before the tears started again. Looking to Gil, she mouthed 'thank you', turned and rushed from the room.  
  
Gil heaved a sigh. "Sara, I hate to do this, but I have to get out. I need to run to the store. Could you. . ."  
  
Sara interrupted him. "Sure. I'll keep an eye on her. I'll page you if anything happens. You do have your pager turned on, right?" She couldn't help but smile. 'Stubbed my toe, my ass.' Now that she knew about Gil and Catherine, the phone call made more sense. She had been sure she'd heard a male voice just before the connection was broken. Now she knew whose it was.  
  
Gil gave her a genuine smile. "No one is ever going to let me forget that are they?"  
  
"No we aren't," Sara admitted. "You turn your pager AND your cell off for the first time in. . .forever. You better believe we're going to get all the mileage out of it that we can."  
  
"Great," Gil muttered. He got his coat out and turned to Sara. "I should be back in an hour."  
  
"Don't worry about it. I can handle it." She watched him walk out the front door and then walked into the kitchen. She picked up Lindsey's shirts and found the laundry room. After putting them on delicate to dry, she went to see Cath.  
  
"Cath?" Sara called her name and opened the bedroom door a crack. She saw her sitting on the bed, her arms wrapped around her knees, the rabbit in one hand. Sara walked in the room and stopped at the edge of the bed.  
  
"He left?" Catherine's voice was low and monotone.  
  
"He said he'd be back in an hour." Sara sat on the bed.  
  
"I don't blame him for leaving. I'd leave me too. He's been so sweet and I was a bitch." She looked up at Sara. "I'm sorry, Sara. I had no right to yell at you like that. I don't know why I keep acting like this. My emotions are all over the place."  
  
"Cath, you're a mother whose daughter was taken," Sara began, choosing her words carefully. "We all understand. And Gris didn't leave you. He said he had to run to the store and that he would be back in an hour."  
  
"He's always been there for me and for the life of me I can't figure out why he cared so much. Even way back when." She looked at her hands and then back to Sara. Catherine needed to talk. About nothing, she just needed to talk. "Eddie never could understand the depth of our friendship. I've only seen Gil really angry with me once. And I'll never forget it for as long as I live."  
  
Sensing her need to talk, Sara asked, "What happened?"  
  
Catherine closed her eyes. "Lindsey was three and I was still doing coke. I thought I was hiding it from Gil fairly well. I never snorted just before work, and I tried to make sure no one knew. But he knew and he came over after work one morning."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Catherine answered the door, expecting a delivery boy. Eddie had mentioned, just after slapping her around for some imagined slight, that he was going on the road with the band for a couple weeks and that he was expecting a delivery. He'd told her that if she knew what was good for her, she would sign for the package and keep it safe. To her surprise it was Gil Grissom.  
  
"Hey Grissom. What's up?" She was nervous. She'd done a line of coke a few minutes before and was getting ready to do another. She had it all lined up and ready to snort and he was the last person she wanted to know about her habit.  
  
"I need to talk to you," Gil said gruffly.  
  
"About what?" Catherine shifted her weight nervously from one foot to the other. She wished he would just go away so she could get her fix, fall into bed and sleep.  
  
Gil pushed his way past her and walked over to the glass coffee table. He watched her walk over to him.  
  
"That's Eddie's," she lied, gesturing to the line of white powder. "He just left. I was going to clean it up." She knew by the look on his face that he didn't believe her.  
  
"Cut the bullshit, Catherine!" Gil exploded. "I know its yours and I know you've been using for some time now."  
  
"Gil, its not mine!"  
  
She let out a startled yelp as Gil roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. "Don't ever lie to me, Catherine," He ground out. He shoved her to the table. "Snort it!"  
  
"What?" Catherine was frightened by the rage in his eyes. She'd seen him upset before at crimes scenes, but never angry and never at her.  
  
"I said snort it. I want to watch you inhale it."  
  
"I'm not going to do a line just so you can watch," Catherine whimpered, trying to pull away.  
  
He pulled her to him, her back to his chest and whispered in her ear. "Look at it Cath. You want it. Admit it." His voice was low and husky and it sent shivers up her spine.  
  
"Gil, you're hurting me. I don't want it, I really don't," she insisted, but she did. Her tongue licked her lower lip and her nose burned.  
  
"God dammit, Catherine! That is the last line of coke you'll ever inhale. You better make it good."  
  
Catherine tried to twist out of his grasp, but he was too strong. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
He turned her roughly to him. "I'm talking about you and your life. Your husband doesn't give a goddamn about your habit, but I sure as hell do! I won't let you fuck up your life anymore." He reached over and grabbed a picture of Lindsey that was sitting on a low table next to the couch. "Look at her."  
  
Catherine turned her head from the picture he was holding. It was taken when Lindsey was two and she was in her Easter dress, a huge basket next to her and her arms wrapped around her beloved rabbit. She was so beautiful, so innocent. It was one of Catherine's favorite pictures of her daughter.  
  
She felt Gil's hand move to the back of her neck and force her to look at the picture. "I said look at her! Is this the life you want for her? Do you want her to grow up with a druggie as a mother?"  
  
The tears slipped down her cheeks. "Gil, you have no idea. . ." she began but he cut her words off.  
  
"I do to have an idea, Cath. I will not be called out to a scene where you are lying dead on the floor with your daughter crawling around, because you've done one line too many. Or where Eddie has beaten you within an inch of your life. I'm not stupid, Catherine. I don't buy your lies that you walked into a door or tripped going down the stairs. You were a dancer; you're not that clumsy. I ask you again, is this what you want for your daughter?"  
  
Catherine couldn't see the picture anymore through her tears and she shook her head. "No," she choked out. "That's not what I want."  
  
Gil released her so suddenly that she stumbled. "I didn't think so." He sighed and looked at the coke on the table. "Where's your stash?"  
  
"I'll get it," Catherine mumbled and moved to go around him, but he blocked her path.  
  
"No, tell me where it's at and I'll get it. And then you and I are going to flush it." He pointed to the coke. "If you want that, you better do it while I'm getting the rest. Now where is it?"  
  
"In my lingerie drawer, top one on the right. It's in the back. And I don't want that line." She was defeated. He was right. This had to stop; she had to stop. She'd quit while she was pregnant, but started again after weaning Lindsey from the breast. When things with Eddie started to get really bad.  
  
"Good," Gil said and when she met his eyes she could see his relief.  
  
Two minutes later he was back. He took her hand and led her to the bathroom. He lifted the seat on the toilet and opened the bag. Taking her left hand in his, he pressed the bag into her right.  
  
"Flush it," he commanded her.  
  
"What?" Catherine's mind was numb.  
  
"I said to flush it. This is something you have to do. I can't do it for you."  
  
Catherine nodded and dumped the contents into the toilet. She flushed the toilet and watched as the water swirled down the commode. She looked at Gil and tried to smile, but it came out wobbly.  
  
Gil sighed and squeezed her hand. "I need a drink."  
  
"Me too," she agreed.  
  
"Why don't you make us something to drink and I'll clean up," he suggested as they walked back to the living room.  
  
Catherine nodded and walked to the kitchen. A few minutes later she handed a drink to Gil who was sitting on the couch. She sat down in the chair facing him and curled her legs under her. She took a long drink of her Screwdriver and then asked. "Now what do I do?"  
  
Gil swallowed his own drink and sat back. "I talked to Brass." At her embarrassed look, he explained, his voice gentle, but there was steel behind it. "I had to get his permission, that's the only reason I said anything. He's given you a month of personal leave. You're going to take it and get yourself clean. I don't care if you check yourself into rehab, go away to a remote cabin somewhere or just lock yourself in here. But you're going to get clean. For good." He speared her with a look. "And if you show up at work and I even suspect that you've been using, I'll have your ass fired so fast, your head will spin."  
  
Catherine heaved a huge sigh and nodded. "Why are you doing this? Why do you care?"  
  
Gil set his glass on the now clean coffee table and stood up. "Because someone has to, Cath. Eddie sure as hell doesn't." He walked over, kissed her on the forehead and then walked to the door. "I'll be calling you. You can bet on it."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"And then he left," Catherine finished.  
  
"Wow!" Sara breathed. "I had no idea."  
  
"Neither did anyone else. Eddie still thinks it was him who got me to quit." Catherine chuckled ruefully. "I never bothered to correct him. The truth is; Gil was the one who made me see what I was doing to Lindsey and to myself. And I've never done another line since then. I owe him my life."  
  
"He loved you even then," Sara said.  
  
Catherine nodded. "Eddie never did understand how I could love someone so much and not have sex with them. He never did get that the bond between Gil and I transcends the physical attraction. I never would have gone against my vows and Gil never would have asked me too. I think we suppressed our feelings for so long that it took us a long time after Eddie to even realize it was there."  
  
Sara was quiet for a moment, wondering how she ever thought that she had a chance with Gil. Looking back now, the signs were all there. He was in love with Catherine and he had been for years. Sara had taken her attraction to him and the fact that he was the only one she knew in Vegas and in her mind built it into something it wasn't. She was a little relieved; she'd come to the realization that her and Gil were too much alike. Sara wanted someone a little different from herself, someone who would constantly challenge her. True, Gil challenged her mind, but not her spirit. That's what she wanted and needed.  
  
She looked at Catherine and saw the tears in her eyes. She didn't know what to say. She never seemed to know what to say.  
  
"I'm sorry," Catherine mumbled, wiping at tears. "I cry all the time. Gil is probably dreading coming back. I bet he jumped at the chance to leave you here with me and escape."  
  
"No, he didn't. He's worried about you. We all are."  
  
Catherine didn't have time to answer; she heard the front door open and she jumped off the bed and ran out of the room. Sara didn't feel comfortable alone in Catherine's bedroom, so she followed at a slower pace, allowing them a small measure of privacy.  
  
"Gil, I'm so sorry," Catherine whispered, watching as he set some paper bags on the table.  
  
Gil turned to her and pulled her into his arms. "You don't have to be sorry, Cath. None of this is your fault."  
  
"Guys, I'm gonna head out now," Sara said, walking into the living room. She watched as they stepped apart.  
  
"I'll get those papers back to you tomorrow." Gil walked her to the door.  
  
"Thanks for staying with me, Sara," Catherine said and started rooting through the bags that Gil had brought home.  
  
"No problem," Sara smiled at Gil and walked out.  
  
"What is this?" Catherine asked, holding up a small bag with Walgreen's printed on it.  
  
"I got my doctor to prescribe some Xanax and Ambien for you."  
  
"Are you trying to drug me?" Anger welled up in her and she knew it showed.  
  
"Cath, you need some sleep. You haven't slept since Sunday. I'm just trying to help," Gil's voice rose, frustration seeping through.  
  
"You want to help?" Catherine shouted. "Find my daughter! Find her and bring her back! Drugging me is not going to help!" Catherine turned around and started walking to her bedroom. Suddenly she stopped and turned back to him. "It's my fault. It's all my fault."  
  
"No, Cath, it's not."  
  
"Yes it is! The whole time we were. . .we were. . . and I didn't know! She was gone and I had no idea. I was so into you, so completely lost in you. I didn't really even think about her. God help me, I didn't want to think about her. I wanted to focus on us." She stopped and took a deep breath. "How could I not have known? I thought I was supposed to have that bond. You know? That bond that says no matter where she was or what she was doing, I would know."  
  
"She was with her father. You had no idea this was going to happen." Gil walked over to her and touched her arm.  
  
"Her father," Catherine snorted. "Right now, I wish I'd never heard of Ed Willows." She looked at him for a moment and sighed. "But then I wouldn't have Lindsey and. . .I don't have Lindsey right now anyway." Her bottom lip trembled and the tears that were always ready to fall slid down her cheeks.  
  
Gil pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. He held her for a moment. "Cath," he began, pulling back a little, but keeping his arms around her. "I brought some food. You need to eat. No, no arguments, Cath," he said when she started to shake her head. "I bought you some fruit and a bagel. Just a few bites. If not for yourself, then for Lindsey. You need to keep up your strength. You don't want to scare her when she comes back home."  
  
"Do you think she will be coming home?" Catherine needed the reassurance.  
  
"I do. I know she is."  
  
"Okay. And you're right. I do need something to relax me and to sleep." The walked over to the table and Gil helped settle her in a chair.  
  
"I'll get you a plate and a glass of wine. Be right back." He kissed the top of her head and went to a plate and the wine.  
  
Catherine pulled out two small bottles of pills and popped the top on the Xanax. "Do not drink alcoholic beverages while taking this medication," she read aloud. "Hmmm. Oh well. One glass won't kill me."  
  
"He said you are to take one of those and if you are still wide awake a couple hours later, take one of those sleeping ones," Gil told her as he walked back in the dining room. He dug out a plastic container of freshly cut pineapple and cantaloupe, along with some grapes. "Here, your favorite." He set a half of bagel on the plate too. "Do you want me to toast that?"  
  
Catherine shook her head. "It's fine. How'd you know these are my favorite?"  
  
"I know a lot about you. Plus those are the ones you always order."  
  
"You are so sweet to me," Catherine said, wiping at tears. "I've been so. . .,"  
  
"Hey," Gil interrupted her. "Stop apologizing. I completely understand."  
  
"But I can't seem to control my emotions or these stupid tears. I hate to cry. This is worse than the pregnancy hormones and those were bad."  
  
Gil handed her a small pill. "Here take this and then eat. After that, I'm putting you in a hot bath and then it's bed time."  
  
"Wow, wine, drugs and a hot bath. You really are trying to knock me out, aren't you?" Catherine managed a smile. "What are you going to do with me when I'm passed out?"  
  
Gil smiled. "I'm going to let you sleep. I like you. . .responsive." He grinned at her. "And you are. Very responsive."  
  
Catherine smiled and took a sip of wine, washing down the pill and then picked at her bagel and fruit. After a few minutes she pushed back the plate. "I can't eat anymore, Gil."  
  
"You ate some, that's a start." He pulled her to her feet. "Come on. Time for a bath."  
  
Catherine grabbed her wine glass and downed the rest of the contents. It wasn't much; he hadn't filled it all the way. She padded on bare feet behind him to the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub where he directed her. She watched while he poured her favorite scented oil into the running water, using the wooden paddle to evenly distribute the oil. While the tub slowly filled her turned to her and helped her out of her clothes. Catherine once again blinked back tears. No one had ever treated her with such devotion, such gentleness and she wondered how she'd gotten so incredibly lucky to have his love. He was so gentle with her and she felt the love she had for him swell until it was almost overwhelming.  
  
He helped her settle into the hot water and she sat with her knees up to her chin, her arms wrapped around her shins. He tried to pin her hair up, but had trouble with the clip.  
  
"How do you get this thingy to stay?" he asked her, observing the hair piled haphazardly on the top of her head.  
  
Catherine chuckled and pinned her hair up securely. "Just takes practice."  
  
He took the bath sponge and dipped it into the water and then squeezed it over her shoulders, the water cascading down her arms. He kept up the action, alternating spots on her back.  
  
"Hmmm. That feels good," she murmured.  
  
"Good, then I'm doing it right."  
  
Catherine smiled gently. He always knew how to make her smile. "You always do it right." She sighed as he soaped up the sponge and ran it over her back. She was starting to relax, she could feel her muscles starting to uncoil and then she saw it. Lindsey's old sippy cup. Memories flashed before her; Lindsey on her first birthday, face covered with bits of chocolate cake and white frosting, sippy cup held between her chubby hands. Smile as big as Dallas plastered across her cake messed face.  
  
Catherine reached over and picked it up, fingering the faded letters that spelled Lindsey in pink letters. It was no longer a bright yellow, but faded to a dull, splotchy color. It was scratched from many tumbles off of the table and onto the ground. It had been Lindsey's favorite cup; she insisted on taking it everywhere with her. It still was her favorite cup. She used it to rinse the shampoo out of her hair and the soap off of her body when she took a bath. Lindsey loved her mother's tub and had taken a leisurely soak in it just before she left with her dad on Friday. The lid was long gone but it still had its uses. Catherine had wanted to put it away, tuck it among the other precious mementos she kept of Lindsey's babyhood, but Lindsey had insisted on keeping it out. Eddie had sided with his daughter as he always did and the cup stayed out, to be used almost everyday.  
  
Catherine filled the cup with bathwater and tipped it, watching the water pour out, lost in the memories of her daughter, unaware of the tears spilling down her cheeks. She saw Lindsey as an infant, crawling across the carpet, pulling herself up on the couch, chubby legs shaking under the strain of standing for the first time. Her first steps; her fingers wrapped tightly around Catherine's index finger as she stepped hesitantly to her dad. Eventually her grip on Catherine's finger lessened until she was walking confidently. Those steps melted into visions of her young daughter running; running everywhere, for Lindsey wasn't content to walk to her destination, but run. Flitting from one thing to another, like a beautiful butterfly tasting of each flower. She filled Catherine's world with color; changing things from faded, dull colors to bright and cheery colors. Now her world was dark, not brown or gray, but black.  
  
"Why? Why, Eddie?" she whispered. "What did I do to make you hate me so much?" She felt Gil's hands on her, and she turned to him, blinking away the tears as well as the memories. "It hurts."  
  
"I know," he whispered and pulled her into a hug, made awkward by the tub between them.  
  
She buried her face in his neck, feeling his carotid artery pulsing against her forehead, inhaling the scent that was Gil. "I just want this to be over. I want to sleep and not feel until it's over."  
  
"Come on," Gil said, pulling back and helping her out of the tub. "Let's go to bed."  
  
Catherine nodded and allowed him to wrap a towel around her. Usually she was in charge, but it felt so good to let him take the lead, so she followed him into the bedroom and let him dry her off and dress her in shorts and on old, faded, baggy sweatshirt. She crawled into bed and waited for him to join her.  
  
Three hours later, she was still tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable and fall sleep. Her mind wouldn't shut down, it kept running over the last moments she had with Lindsey and what she should have or could have done differently. Even though she knew Gil was right, Eddie would have taken Lindsey anyway; she still thought that she could have prevented it, somehow. If only. She had always hated those two words. She hated them even more now. She felt Gil get out of bed and she rolled over to face him.  
  
"I'm driving you nuts."  
  
"No, I'm going to get you that sleeping pill. You need sleep, Cath."  
  
She nodded and pushed herself into a sitting position against the headboard. She felt wide-awake. Calmer than she was earlier, but not close to being ready to sleep. He came back with a pill and she accepted it gladly, washing it down with some water.  
  
"Roll over," he commanded gently.  
  
She did as she was told, stretching out on her stomach, wrapped her arms around the pillow underneath her head and sighed as his hands caressed the skin under her sweatshirt. After a few minutes of his gentle stroking, she yawned and felt her eyes growing heavy.  
  
Gil kept up his ministrations until he felt her body totally relax and her breathing even out in sleep. Only then did he stop and lie next to her, wrapping one arm around her waist and finally allow himself to sleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
